More Naked Drunkeness

First, I SWEAR I really did the Music Monday post on Monday. I know blogger listed it under Sunday. Blogger is on crack and can't tell time.

After Mr. Dragon went home, I did all the laundry, watered my plants, almost finished the star (two little corners are all that is lacking), cooked, cleaned, and took the dogs to the fish pond. All three dogs got in the water and puppy Queen was shocked to learn that she can't exactly swim. She kept hanging onto Halona's back for dear life and Halona didn't like it at all. I thought I was going to have to save Queen, but she found a shallow place and scrambled to safety. I tried taking pictures but all I got were blurry blobs splashing.

Last night, Mr. Dragon slept over again. He brought burgers. We ate our fill, then tossed bits to the dogs. A french fry went under the washing machine. After we went to bed, Queen chewed up the linoleum trying to retrieve it. I haven't decided how to deal with that problem.

We have other problems which are easy to remedy- Mr. Dragon needs to keep a toothbrush and some clothes here. And he might need to start chipping in on the electric bill. He always wants the air conditioning on 'frozen.'

I have vacation coming in another week (or two?). I am already making my list. This weekend made me think about how I want to spend my time. I finally got some Etsy issues resolved. I didn't do any magick. I discovered my gourds bloom at night. That's a sort of cool, witchy, magick thing. I haven't had anymore neighbor dog problems since I put a mirror on the porch.

Was reading Ruby Slipper Astrology earlier about how Venus affects your relationships. I have Venus in Pisces. Secrets have always been the over-riding theme of all my relationships. I want to correct this, but I think I have a long, difficult road ahead of me.

Kurt sent me another picture. I think it's better than the last, he looks somewhat happier:

Nene was shocked when I told her Kurt is four years younger than me. She thinks he is way over 31.

I emailed a friend in Alaska. Remember me blogging about Air Witch saying I was becoming a dark witch? Apparently I am not the only person Air Witch stopped associating with because my Alaska friend is the sister of Air Witch and she had no idea we weren't speaking because she hasn't had contact with her sister in quite some time. I dreamed about Air Witch recently. I think she may be about to re-enter my life and I just don't know how I feel. I don't wish her ill, but I doubt we can ever be as close as we once were. I still think something happened and she didn't want me to know. It could be my Venus in Pisces affects all my relationships. AJ did the same thing- she moved back to Texas and stopped speaking to me rather than tell me she had lung cancer.

I'm about to get ready for work. My weekend wasn't long enough. Or maybe I wasn't drunk enough.

Music Monday Double Shot

Aha!

I apologize for the double posting, but I finally figured out how to send pictures from my phone to my email, so now I can post all kinds of things. This is a picture of Kurt, which he took himself and sent to my phone:

I can't decide if he's good looking or not. Clearly, he's had a hard life. But I think he has good bone structure and wonderful brown eyes. Sometimes I think he's sexy, then I think he's goofy. Then I think he's handsome in his own way. I don't know. Maybe I am moved by his emotions.

Anyway, now I can take and post all kinds of pictures. Oddly enough, I think my phone does better pics than my camera. Maybe next I can post a picture of Mr. Dragon.

I am fighting with Kevin. His truck is still sitting in my yard. I have asked several times that he move it. He always has an excuse not to. I asked again today because he promised to move it this weekend, yet the truck is still here. I said when he made me a promise, I expect him to keep it. He said I have never
kept a promise to him. That is a lie and this is not about our failed relationship, it is about him getting his belongings out of my home so I can move on. I simply stopped talking to him. Probably I will have to be a bitch and then that will be my fault as well.

I didn't work a full four hours Saturday. I worked less than one hour. I made 30 parts. I think that was a complete waste of gas. Plus I lost sleep and got my sugar all out of whack. Mr. Dragon came over after work and, much to my surprise, spent the night. We spent most of the time being naked and drinking.

I planned a lot of witchcraft, cooking, and Etsy shop rearranging. I haven't done any of it. I keep forgetting men have a knack for messing up my routine. Oh well.

I also planned some sewing which I may get to now that Mr. Dragon has left. But he might come back over, in which case I will be naked and drunk again. Maybe I can slip in some stitches while he sleeps.

Silent Sunday- Got to do the 1st Thing on my List

Bend, Motherf*cker, Bend

I will try hard not to sound racist. But the simple fact remains, Koreans live for their jobs. Americans have jobs to support their lives.

Koreans are filled with sorrow when the plant closes. Americans are relieved. Even if it means a loss of money during a month heavy with bills, we would rather BE AT HOME than be at work. Because, ya know, work sucks. Koreans haven't figured out the work sucks thing yet.

Memorial Day Weekend was SUPPOSED to be three days off. Because that's what everyone else in the country is doing, taking Saturday, Sunday, and Monday to drink alcohol, grill burgers, and go to the river. Rest, fuck, read, drink some more, maybe do fireworks and ice cream.

I haven't had a Saturday off in two full months. I am getting tired. My nerves are frazzled. Small problems are starting to irritate me in a big way. I don't have time to do things I want to do and I am becoming resentful. Naw, mean, I am becoming mean and I would feel good if I ripped someone's head off.

I made a freaking list of what I wanted to do this weekend. I put fucking Mr. Dragon at number 1. So excited was I about spending time with my man, I started cleaning the house, making sure clean sheets were on the bed, fresh towels in the bathroom, and hmm, what might he like to eat?

I HAVE TO WORK FOUR HOURS SATURDAY!

Seriously, what the goddamn fuck?! Do you know WHY? First shift didn't want to work all day Friday. They left early. But production wasn't met, so they agreed to come in on Saturday. Now I think if first shift is that damn stupid they can have at it, but why, why, why in the hell does second shift have to come in?! I worked overtime. I made my numbers, WHY do I have to come in? Why?! Somebody explain it to me because I simply do not understand.

I have to work four hours. And (wait, it gets more stupid) I have to come in at noon. Which is 11am my time. Because the plant goes by Eastern time. The idea is we will get work over with so we can enjoy our weekend. I would rather have worked until 6am and be completely done than to screw up my sleep, insulin, holiday, and fucking.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

This morning I let my dogs out. The dogs NEVER get to roam freely, so every time I crack the door, they get really excited. They can't help it, they love to explore. They try to go as far as they can before I call them back and sometimes they don't come back. I don't like having to chase them all over Tallapoosa county. (Seriously, most days I have to drive my truck down the road. They are that fast. I can easily spend an hour on foot trying to bring them home.) I put the leash on Sophie because she is the most inclined to take off. She runs across the yard and the other two follow. I thought if I could keep a hold on her, the other two would stick around. The problem was I couldn't hold her.

She was dragging me and I was in danger of being pulled along the ground face-first, so I let go. Sophie was gone, black leash whipping behind her like a snake. I was afraid she'd get the leash hung on something and be stuck. I finally grabbed the leash, but by that time, my other two dogs had crossed the fence to the neighbor's property. The passive-aggressive jackass' property with his pack of untamed, unsocialized mutts.

They attacked Queen, my puppy. She was yelping in pain and I thought those dogs were going to kill her. I started screaming for the jackass to call off his dogs which he was in no hurry to do. We had a vicious argument over the fence. He told me I might come home and find my dogs dead. He said I shouldn't be walking down the road with my dogs because that was just inviting trouble. That statement alone astounded me more than anything because I thought all normal people walked their dogs. I thought public roads were open to the public, thus anyone could walk down them whenever they pleased. He said my dogs should be in my house or in the pen. When I pointed out his dogs come in my yard, he said that wasn't a big deal because my dogs are on his side more. In other words, he thinks he should be in control of everything that goes on around here and I should be grateful he tolerates my existence.

I gave up on reasoning. All he was doing was making me more and more angry so I went home with three highly agitated dogs in tow. I thought for a long time about my options-

1. Call Sheriff's Dept.
Problem- no crime has been committed. I can report the threats, but that is just my word against his. Nothing will be done.

2. Call landlord.
Problem- nothing will be done. Landlord will probably get more irritated/angry with his brother, they will have more harsh words, other family members may become involved. Emotions will be elevated, but nothing will be resolved.

3. Hex jackass into absolute misery.
Ah. Now I'm getting somewhere.

I spent some time indulging in a horrid array of curses- erectile dysfunction, ulcers, money problems, boils, mice, fleas, snakes, worst run of bad luck you ever saw...until I realized he probably already has all these issues because he is a nasty little man and nobody likes him. Hmmm. What if things just got...worse.

This is a simple and very effective spell. It falls under protection magic, not curses, so it will work for those who follow the 'harm none' rule. I had great results with it when I lived in the trailer park. All you need is a mirror. Place the mirror facing the home of the offending party and say, 'Any negativity you send to me is returned to you times 3.'

I used this spell in my last job. I'd hold the mirror out, saying the chant four times as I faced the four directions, starting with East. Then I'd go to work and see my enemies struggling with stupid shit. Flat tires, lost phones, jammed printers, lost data, broken watches, miscommunication, coffee being spilled, mix-ups, unproductive meetings, the works. They would be so stressed they didn't have time to mess with me.  You're not causing anything to go wrong, you're just letting the person stew in their own juices. When they decide to grow up, their troubles will stop. Sometimes that's the worst thing you can do to somebody.

I Thought It Smelled Nice

I used to wear body spray when I was a teenager. My best friend gave it to me for my birthday and I immediately loved it. They don't make it anymore. I tried other body sprays and some I liked. Then I discovered Wicca and I started using oils. When I was dating my police officer, he LOVED patchouly. He was an intently sexual man but when I wore patchouly oil it was just like flipping his switch to overdrive. He couldn't keep his hands off me. I like patchouly for its earthy scent. Kevin HATED it. He said it smelled musty. I like natural scents- rose, vanilla, citrus, honeysuckle. Kevin liked manufactured perfume scents. The only one we could both agree on was my Avon Night Magic skin softening lotion (or whatever it's called). Since we couldn't agree, I stopped wearing perfume and essential oils.

Then Kevin and I broke up. I found more body spray. It's not what I used to wear, but it's close. This is Skin Musk and I used to wear Impressions Electric Musk.



Mr. Dragon doesn't like it.

The subject came up two days ago when he had a migraine. He said my perfume was getting to him. I have migraines myself so I understood. There is nothing like a strong smell to turn your stomach over during a migraine headache. But he kept asking about my scent in a negative way so I finally said, 'You don't like it, do you?' And he said it made me smell like an old woman.

Okay, no big deal. I told him to pick out something he liked and I'd wear that. But then I started worrying that like Kevin, he'd come back with some unnatural smelling stuff. I decided a needed a second male opinion. I asked Kurt what he thought.

Kurt got really offended. He doesn't think Mr. Dragon should be telling me what I can wear. I was wondering why he took so much offense until it dawned on me (duh!) Kurt is jealous. I should have asked a different male.

I tossed the body spray (sigh), I'm not experimenting with any scents, and I am just praying Mr. Dragon doesn't give me something that smells like furniture polish. And I'm not telling Kurt anymore relationship details.

Wordless Wednesday

Music Monday

Aerosmith- Big Ten Inch Record

Silent Sunday- That About Sums It Up

Himself

(You've got to read this post to understand where I'm coming from.)

The Horned God is coming. He doesn't come around much, usually just when change is needed. He resets the balance. And while the Goddess brings change in a more orderly fashion, Himself goes straight to His target without much concern for what is in His way.

So what can you do?

Move out of the way.

600

This is my 600th post. I never thought I would get this far. I really thought when I started this blog, it would be a place where my friends would gather. But none of my friends read it. Don't even know of the blog's existence. And would probably be offended to read how I portray them. Maybe a few things are better off being a secret. I thought about telling Mr. Dragon about my blog. But he'll want to know what I wrote about him and, (eeep!) he'll see what I wrote about other guys and suddenly I'm feeling really uncomfortable here.

I've had this problem in the past. I used to have nightmares about my journal being found. In all the dreams, I'd come home, be minding my own business, not even aware of what was coming, then my mother burst in waving papers about, ranting and raving, all my secrets exposed, and OF COURSE in the dream it was always far more detailed than anything I'd actually write. I used to write pages and pages, then burn them. Then I'd worry about the fire not being out, the house going up in a blaze, and everybody wondering what I'd been burning anyway. The simple solution would be to not write at all. Except I feel better when I get it all out. Some things can't be spoken.

At some point, I'm going to be outed. Somebody will stumble over here, or catch me typing, or ask why there's a comment in my email. Then what? Oh my, then what? I can't even think of what I would do.  I still have a journal. It's mainly where I jot down notes about sewing projects. But I also write down how I feel, what's occurring in my life, and why I have or have not been able to sew. I add pictures of things I like- clothes, fabric, art, quilts and it spans years. I don't want anyone reading that either. I'm afraid people will laugh at my preferences.

I keep a Tarot notebook by my bed. I'm thinking about moving it. Mr. Dragon could open the box at any time. Does he really need to know what burning questions are tumbling around in my skull? I already told him I'm a witch because he asked and I'm not nearly as smart as I think I am. Before he came over, I was cleaning. I realized I couldn't explain my cauldron, so I put it in the closet. But I forgot all about my witch's hat. You would think I would have sense enough to put away the most stereotypical witch symbol, but noooooo. I might as well put a neon sign on the roof. A WITCH LIVES HERE! YES, RIGHT HERE! SHE HAS A BLOG, TOO.

Fav. Beatles Song

Well Double Damn

I got in another Etsy treasury. Way cool.

This is the item that was featured. (See it in my shop) And then, just sort of double checking, looking at things, I realized it's the SECOND TIME my fabric was in a treasury. Way back in September it made the first treasury and I had no clue. I think I over looked this oh so important detail because September was when things were not groovy with Mr. Dragon and work started going downhill at an accelerated rate. See what happens when you aren't paying attention, kids?

I have ideas, good ones, for cool things to make. When I will actually have time to make them is a whole different matter. Every night at work, ideas just pop into my head, not possibilities mind you, but full-blown insights of how it would look, how to make it, vivid colors, the feel of the textile, even how my hands would move the fabric under the sewing machine needle...and then I come home and crawl into bed, cold, tired, swearing I'll create something beautiful tomorrow...but of course I never do.

I am STILL working on the freakin' star for my cousin's birthday which is like any day now. Even if I get done before her birthday I probably won't get it to her in time due to our conflicting schedules. I think the star will just have to be late.

In a completely unrelated subject, I had to engage in evasive tactics. Mr. Dragon and I had a fight. To be fair, it wasn't his fault, I misunderstood what he was telling me and my sugar had just dropped before the fight. I am not rational when recovering from a low sugar. If you know a diabetic and you think that person is seven kinds of asshole, please cut them some slack because it's their sugar talking and sometimes we can't control how we feel, what we say, or how we act. It makes sense at the time and later we are so, so, so very sorry, okay?

Anyway, I stomped off, spent the rest of the shift ignoring him, telling myself I was stupid, he was lying, yadda, yadda, yadda. I left without saying goodbye. Thought about calling. Got mad, threw my phone. Drove a ways, felt stupid, pulled over, found the phone, he didn't answer. Drive a few more miles, wanted to fight, called again, didn't want to fight after I heard his voice. We had an exhausting conversation. I told him I had cried ever since I got to work and he said, 'Why? You shouldn't be that upset. You don't love me...do you?'

(!)

Gah! It's too soon for him to be asking that! It was unexpected. There was no good answer. If I'd said no then I'm the bad guy and yes means I'm rushing. Since I couldn't answer, I said he hurt my feelings. He said all the right things, we stopped fighting, and (whew!) he hasn't mentioned that other subject again.

How many of you are determined not to be the one who breaks first? You know, you remember the last time you were in love, you thought everything was going great until you said those 3 words and then you were the fool so THIS TIME you are waiting damn it, until the other person says it first. I always say I am going to wait the guy out but I can't because I am a hopeless romantic and it just kills me to keep my affection to myself. But I can do it now. I'm waiting. He has to say it first. He's the one who brought it up. All I have to do is chill.

Aaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

7 Days of Witches- 7. The Big Finish

For the last post, here's the witches I would like to be:

Willow, for being the most balanced. She's light and dark. She does whatever is necessary.

Piper was always my favorite Charmed One. I liked her best from the very beginning. I couldn't have her power though, I'd be freezing people left and right just for the hell of it.

Ah, Sally. She's the most likable witch. But with my relationship woes, I'm probably more like Gillian. When the movie came out my friends and I tried forever to light a candle with our breath. We also tried the 'light as a feather' thing from The Craft and that didn't work either. Sigh.

But my absolute favorite witch is

Rachel Morgan for being like all these witches and more. I wish they'd go on and make a movie out of this series.

I want to be the best of all these witches.

With a little Mad Madam Mim tossed in for fun, of course.

I'm thinking about doing something like this around Halloween, maybe covering a topic each day. If there is something you'd like to see/know/admire/wish it was more appreciated, let me know so I can start researching.

Happy Witching!

7 Days of Witches- 6 Angry Witch

7 Days of Witches- 5. Most Glamorous

7 Days of Witches- 4. If She Ain't, She Ought to Be

Today we have a double feature- two women. And three of my favorite topics- stories, quilting, and magick.

I read The Color Purple when I was about 16. The book had a profound impact on my views about spirituality. The part I most connected with was towards the end about 'getting the old man off your eyeball' because that isn't god. I had always thought religion was something that had to be done in church. I had never thought about living mundane life in a spiritual way. I love this book and I talked about it non-stop for weeks after reading it. My best friend thought I was stupid because the book isn't a religious text, it's fiction and oh yeah, I'm white.

But still, I love it, I love the movie too, and I am delighted when it comes on television. Sometimes, Alice Walker's work appears in my life, almost as if she is giving me a message when I need it most. She popped up often in college. I am always thrilled to see her. Then one day, I found a very thick quilt book in the library called A Communion of Spirits. And there was Alice Walker with a purple quilt that she made when writing The Color Purple. She said she couldn't have written the book if she had been working on a brown quilt.

Do you know what this means? This is stitch magic bringing dream into manifest form. If you need a better picture of how it works, think of a woman sitting by the fire weaving cloth, spinning, or sewing. Her children are gathered around her and as she sews, she tells stories. Her work gets done, her children learn, and when the textile is finished, all the little stories are woven into the threads and cannot be separated again.

So I found out one of my favorite writers is a quilter, which thrilled me to no end. But then! I found her connection to this woman:

Zora Neale Hurston was the first Black woman to be published in America. That alone is an amazing feat. But Zora is rather special because her connection to HooDoo. Alice Walker pretended to be Zora's niece in order to find Zora's grave. You might not think it's a big deal, who cares where anyone is buried, but HooDoo practitioners often gather graveyard dirt from the grave of person they believe can help them. The locals were not keen on anyone bothering Zora. And the story I heard is Alice went to the cemetery, called Zora's name, and waited for a sign. Summoning spirits, just like witches do!

I have to mention now, as far as I know, Alice Walker has NEVER claimed to be a witch. But there is no doubt, she's got power.

7 Days of Witches- 3. Smartest

7 Days of Witches- 2. Sinister Silly Witch

7 Days of Witches- 1. Fav. Evil Witch

And as a bonus, here's my favorite part of the movie:

Doings, Going-ons, & Mutterings

Nene has pissed me off. We work on the same line. I am on the right side, she is on the left. Kurt got moved, so I am working the whole right side alone. When the left sides finishes, they are supposed to come help me. They don't. They run out the door like they are going to break and just never come back. Terri has always worked the left side and I don't like her anyway because she's lazy and nosey. She noticed Mr. Dragon bringing me lunch and promptly ran to tell anyone who would listen. I don't care who knows, but I'd rather not be the subject of gossip.

Last night, Nene and Terri stopped working several times to talk. I mean, not working at all, leaning against tables, yakking on and laughing. Mr. Dragon was helping me when he could, but he has other things to do, so he can't stay with me all night. Nene and Terri slowly wrapped up production, then were AWOL for 40 minutes. When I had 6 parts left, Nene reappeared to see why I wasn't finished. I glared at her. I've decided to pay her back. I'm not telling her I will be out Friday. Terri and Nene will have to work both sides. It's going to be a long night and I won't be thinking of them while I'm laying in Mr. Dragon's arms.

Mr. Dragon and I did manage to spend a little time together after work. We were so tired we couldn't stop yawning, but it was still nice. He's like a teddy bear, only better. I think if I could get him to sing Elvis' song to me, it would rock.

It has been raining all day here. Halona is terrified of storms. She's spent the whole day glued to me.

I still haven't heard anything from Kevin. The longer the lull, the greater I think the explosion will be. I'm feeling antsy.

I am still not finished with my cousin's star. I ran out of floss. I tried using a color that was close, but it's not close enough, the more I look at the more I hate it, and I don't want to keep going with something I'll have to pick out. I am yet to get out of the house early enough to go to the craft store. I have more craft ideas in mind, but Mr. Dragon has so occupied me all week that I've barely held a needle. My kitchen isn't in great shape either. My garden seems to be getting by on benign neglect.

I'm reading a werewolf novel. I thought it was new but it's from earlier in the series. I hadn't read it before and it fills in some gaps, but since I'm farther along in the story I don't see the point of finishing it. But then I'd have nothing to read. I sort of want to place an order with Amazon, but then I'd have to wait. Sigh.

Reel Him In, Girl

Playing Hookey Friday

Because Mr. Dragon was really happy when I told him I broke up with Kevin. We must celebrate. You'd think since we both work for the same company (on the same line no less) that we'd both leave work at the same time. Not so. Too many factors involved. It's amazing how one robot can tie us up. We wanted to celebrate tonight, but couldn't leave together. If I had waited for him, I would have been waiting hours. The next couple of nights look iffy as well. The only solution is to just not come to work. I put my personal day request in before I left, he is putting in his tomorrow, and hopefully no one will catch on to what we are doing. And if they do, well, ya know I can always have a low sugar.

Heehee.

Just One

I broke up with Kevin. I feel relieved. I also feel a growing sense of worry because he took it way to calm.

I told him I wanted to break up and he said, 'Okay.'

He didn't ask why, he didn't accuse me of anything, and he didn't yell at me. He's supposed to be at work, but I could hear background noise that didn't sound like work at all so I think something is going on with him today and he chose not to tell me. I HATE IT when he shuts me out of his life, so now I don't feel as guilty for dumping him. Don't be keeping secrets and withholding information from me.

I think we'll probably have it out later when he's done with whatever he doesn't want me to know. This will give him time to brood and think of mean stuff to say. I really wanted to pick a fight. That way we could have a row and be done. But he wouldn't fight. I finally remembered Kevin's way of dealing with problems is avoidance. If I wait for a fight we'll be together for another 5 years before he takes the bait. I just had to get it over with. He was bugging me for sex and after fooling around with Mr. Dragon, I can't bear the thought of Kevin touching me.

I'm really happy and I'll tell Mr. Dragon tonight. I think now we can deal with whatever comes our way. I feel the wind picking up. A storm is on the horizon.