Just One

I broke up with Kevin. I feel relieved. I also feel a growing sense of worry because he took it way to calm.

I told him I wanted to break up and he said, 'Okay.'

He didn't ask why, he didn't accuse me of anything, and he didn't yell at me. He's supposed to be at work, but I could hear background noise that didn't sound like work at all so I think something is going on with him today and he chose not to tell me. I HATE IT when he shuts me out of his life, so now I don't feel as guilty for dumping him. Don't be keeping secrets and withholding information from me.

I think we'll probably have it out later when he's done with whatever he doesn't want me to know. This will give him time to brood and think of mean stuff to say. I really wanted to pick a fight. That way we could have a row and be done. But he wouldn't fight. I finally remembered Kevin's way of dealing with problems is avoidance. If I wait for a fight we'll be together for another 5 years before he takes the bait. I just had to get it over with. He was bugging me for sex and after fooling around with Mr. Dragon, I can't bear the thought of Kevin touching me.

I'm really happy and I'll tell Mr. Dragon tonight. I think now we can deal with whatever comes our way. I feel the wind picking up. A storm is on the horizon.