600

This is my 600th post. I never thought I would get this far. I really thought when I started this blog, it would be a place where my friends would gather. But none of my friends read it. Don't even know of the blog's existence. And would probably be offended to read how I portray them. Maybe a few things are better off being a secret. I thought about telling Mr. Dragon about my blog. But he'll want to know what I wrote about him and, (eeep!) he'll see what I wrote about other guys and suddenly I'm feeling really uncomfortable here.

I've had this problem in the past. I used to have nightmares about my journal being found. In all the dreams, I'd come home, be minding my own business, not even aware of what was coming, then my mother burst in waving papers about, ranting and raving, all my secrets exposed, and OF COURSE in the dream it was always far more detailed than anything I'd actually write. I used to write pages and pages, then burn them. Then I'd worry about the fire not being out, the house going up in a blaze, and everybody wondering what I'd been burning anyway. The simple solution would be to not write at all. Except I feel better when I get it all out. Some things can't be spoken.

At some point, I'm going to be outed. Somebody will stumble over here, or catch me typing, or ask why there's a comment in my email. Then what? Oh my, then what? I can't even think of what I would do.  I still have a journal. It's mainly where I jot down notes about sewing projects. But I also write down how I feel, what's occurring in my life, and why I have or have not been able to sew. I add pictures of things I like- clothes, fabric, art, quilts and it spans years. I don't want anyone reading that either. I'm afraid people will laugh at my preferences.

I keep a Tarot notebook by my bed. I'm thinking about moving it. Mr. Dragon could open the box at any time. Does he really need to know what burning questions are tumbling around in my skull? I already told him I'm a witch because he asked and I'm not nearly as smart as I think I am. Before he came over, I was cleaning. I realized I couldn't explain my cauldron, so I put it in the closet. But I forgot all about my witch's hat. You would think I would have sense enough to put away the most stereotypical witch symbol, but noooooo. I might as well put a neon sign on the roof. A WITCH LIVES HERE! YES, RIGHT HERE! SHE HAS A BLOG, TOO.