Thursday, April 20, 2017

Outcome of My Break

As it turns out, a break was just what I needed, though yesterday did not end on a good note.

I went for a long walk. I felt better after, even though my thighs ached miserably. I didn't have problems with sore thighs or hips until pregnancy. I changed the way I walked when I got pregnant and apparently I still walk differently even no longer burdened by a large belly. I've tried several times to be more conscious of how I move but evidently my body doesn't wish to reform its habit.

I did do a Tarot reading. I even took a picture.
This is the Halloween Oracle. I emailed this picture to a friend and she gushed about how pretty the cards are. This is the jack-o-lantern spread. I needed the booklet because I couldn't remember each position in the spread. I've been keeping my decks in my sewing shed because the original plan was to make it a Witchy space where I could both sew and cast. That never really worked because the shed still isn't mine. My husband's tools are still everywhere, 2nd Son started storing his clothes there when he moved back in, and still, despite me pitching a fit, the boys just dump stuff at the door before running off. This morning I decided I need my tools.
The bag holds my decks and my crystal ball is in the round box. I put the crystal ball in my night stand. I have a feeling I will be needing it soon. My decks are going into my sewing projects box.
All the Tarot decks in front of the sewing projects box. I have 2 steampunk decks because each is very different. One is more futuristic/end of days and the other is more Victorian/magick. I use regular playing cards but I can only read if the cards are highly decorative. I bought the Alchemy 1977 deck just because that was the year I was born. I've had other decks over the years. This is what currently appeals to me.  I like having many decks. Sometimes using a different deck gives more perspective.  I've been in situations where only one deck seemed to present the clear truth to me. And it also helps to have many decks when reading for others. I really like the Alchemy deck but it is very dark and not for everyone.

Back to yesterday's reading. Here's the photo again if you want to look while I explain without scrolling all the way to the top:
Card 1. The heart of the issue (The Zombie)
Card 2. The hidden issue (Winter)
Card 3. The major obstacle (The Underworld)
Card 4. The main fear (The Lantern)
Card 5. The solution (Lady De Los Muertos)
Card 6. What will happen if you engage the solution (Dawn)

How I interpret the cards:
I think the Zombie means I might be killing myself doing mindless work or I could be turning something minor into something major and stressing over nothing. Winter as the hidden issue means I fear nothing good will come. The Underworld card emphasizes this. Maybe I fear I am wasting time. The Lantern as a fear Card is interesting. I think I fear what I will find. This echoes me saying cleaning the whole house forces you to deal with your family's lazy ways over and over again. But the solution is good, The Lady is on my side. I think I should embrace my ideals and do things on my terms. The Lady is tough, bold, and beautiful. She is Death, but she enjoys her position. She dances and looks fabulous ruling the after life. Card 6, Dawn, tells me there is a silver lining or reward. I've been afraid I was doing this for nothing or that no one would appreciate what I do.

After doing this reading I decided I was a little too focused on cleaning. I decided I would continue on with getting my house in order, but the house is not my entire life. I also create art and I've put that to the side. This was wrong and it's probably what led to me feeling overwhelmed; I had nothing to look forward to. Now my focus for each day is what can I create? The housework will just have to wait until after my art projects progress.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Breathe

After much debate, I decided to take a break today. Trying to clean the entire house is merely emphasizing how dirty it really is. Nothing is going to plan and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed. I think it is more important to spend today doing something pleasant for myself. So I may do a Tarot reading or take a long walk. I will post again when I do not feel that all my work is in vain. If you are starting to feel like me, it might be time for you to take a break as well.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Top to Bottom, Cleaning the Whole House Special Projects

A special cleaning project is one that usually falls outside of normal chores such as emptying a whole room to paint it, a remodel, major repairs, getting new furniture, or it's a collection that is large enough to dominate most of a room. Yesterday I cleaned bookcases. I know, I was supposed to work on windows. And I did clean the bathroom window. But when I moved on to the bedroom I got tired of trying to remove a sticker. So I sat down. Then my toddler dumped most of her books on the floor. I suddenly realized if I moved that particular bookcase it would solve some storage problems. And I realized it was Monday, which is when I clean the living room. I hadn't done any of my daily cleaning. The living room was really awful. The sticker didn't seem important anymore.
I don't have a before picture. This is better and it didn't take as long as I thought.
This is also better. I sweep out a ton of dirt every day. I have declared the boys must wipe their feet before entering the house. I probably have another project in my future involving a walkway. I don't want to think about it. Again, cleaning is tough because it reveals how many problems you really have. With sinking despair you realize nothing will change until you address it. Addressing issues further emphasizes your lack of money and time, to say nothing of the fact that you have been living in substandard conditions. You start to wonder what else is screwed up in your life. Probably, like me, you'll realized that despite all your hard work the damn windows aren't going to clean themselves and that was more than a one day project anyway.

I could have pretended I have my shit together and this effort to get my house under control is going well. But I don't think that's fair to you. I think if you're reading my blog you deserve honesty. I really wanted the curtains washed and the windows clean. My husband agrees with what I'm doing, especially when I told him there was an inch of dust along the top of the bathroom curtain. Unfortunately, I raised so much dust yesterday than he was forced to take sinus pills and he laid down with a headache. He got up to eat, but didn't feel like eating much. I have a headache this morning. I can't lay down, there's too much to do.

My special project was going to be my closet. I don't know what the next post will be about. I'm sure there will be another because I am nowhere close to done.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Top to Bottom: Cleaning the Whole House Post 2

I didn't have a post ready to go yesterday but I did clean. It wasn't windows, I ended up cleaning the boys' closet. I solved a few mysteries. First, why don't they have more shorts? (Because they didn't get them all down.) Second, why isn't the youngest wearing his black jacket? (Because it's been wadded up on the floor, presumably for 3 months.) And third, where are all the clothes hangers? (Well, the boys just yank shirts off the hanger. Rarely do they place the empty hanger to the side. So when they put clothes away, they don't gather all of them from the closet. They only pick up about half. Then when they have more clean shirts than hangers they grab more hangers from the laundry room. Thus, no matter how many I bought we never had enough hangers.) After finding all the summer clothes, the jacket, and the lost clothes hangers, I packed away winter clothes. And I refolded the blankets. And I got out everything torn, ripped, too small, and the why-fuck-is-this-even-in-here's. Then I sat down and wished it was later so I could drink.

That's why cleaning the whole house is tough. Not only is it a lot of work, but you will be confronted over and over again with your family's lazy ways. If you're a mother you know next there was a lecture (which fell on deaf ears) and you realize all this came about because after I washed the sheets I put them away and that's when I saw the sad state of the closet and that's why I am now wondering if I can trust the boys with anything.

This is all rather depressing. I'm just going to move on to the windows.
This is my bathroom window. I'm starting here because it's on the end of the house. I like to work from one end to the other. I'm doing one window at a time. I start by taking down the curtain which goes into the washing machine. All the curtains are the same color because they came with the house. I considered making seasonal curtains but really I don't need another sewing project. My goal is to finish things, not to create more loose ends.

Once the curtain is down I dust blinds. I did this with a mini broom so that I can sweep the window frame after I clean the blinds. I should probably take the blinds down and scrub them but I am depressed enough. I would like for this to be a one day project not a two day project.

Next I wash the window. Mine fold in for easy cleaning. Easy is relative considering how much dirt accumulated on the glass. I sweep the screen, too.

Now is a good time to do spells. Since windows frame views, consider asking for clarity or perspective. You can hang suncatchers to bring light, hope, or happiness. Wind chimes can be enchanted for prosperity. Be sure to seal the window so negativity can't enter. If you lock it robbers can't get in either.

Windows are tough because you are usually forced to deal with whatever mess is in front of them. Windows shouldn't be blocked. If there's so much stuff in front of the window that you can't open it then you have a problem. Deal with it now. Ignoring the mess is what created more work.

Next post, tackling special areas.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Top to Bottom: Cleaning the House Post 1

Lots of people say they will clean their whole house. It sounds simple because how hard is it to clean? I'm going to tell you now, it's tough. Like kick your ass while chewing bubble gum tough.

Never say you're going to clean the whole house from top to bottom in a weekend. I don't care who you are, how much energy you have, or how clean it is already. You're not going to clean the whole house in a weekend. You just won't. It's always much more involved than you think it is.

I decided to actually start at the top.
I swept the ceiling first. I used my regular house broom which hangs on the porch. As you can see in the picture, we always have a mess. No matter how you live, there probably areas of your home where mess is an issue and that's another reason why this is tough; you've got to deal with those problem areas. Let's do this one step at a time. For those of you wondering why I started at the top, the short answer is gravity. No, I'm not being a smart-ass. The dirt is going to drift down to the floor anyway. No need to clean the same spot twice.

If you like, say a chant or affirmation. I said I was removing all negativity from our lives. I turn on the light because that makes it easier to see cobwebs. I walk around the room clockwise. Pay attention to areas where you can't reach with the broom because that is probably a space that traps negative energy. I try not to lift the broom away from the ceiling. Do every room in the house and don't forget about closets.

I like to leave lights on until the end. That tells me immediately if I skipped a room. I sweep down corners as I come to them. Really, I only sweep where the ceiling meets the walls but if you want to sweep the entire ceiling, go for it. Be aware it will be very obvious if you miss a spot.

After sweeping, the next step is to dust ceiling fans and light fixtures. Fans operate more efficiently when they are clean. A coating of dust creates drag causing the fan to work harder. Mundanely this is a good time to change blown bulbs and to replace smoke alarm batteries.

When you've gone around the whole house, you'll be tired. You'll wonder why you have so much house. If you couldn't get everything you will angrily curse having so much junk. Sit down. Next we're doing windows.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Here and There and Back Again

I made a change in how I raise my stepsons. I stopped having birthday parties. My inlaws think this is awful; they usually throw a party anyway.

I decided the boys need more experience and less stuff. We were going broke buying presents, junk food, and decorations. Within a few days that precious toy is lost or broken or hidden because it was broken out of spite. I never remember who gave them what. Months later, when making the boys clean, I would see the mountains of stuff pushed under the bed and wonder where it all came from.

The first time we did experience we went to the zoo. We still spent money, but it seemed more justified and I think we spent less on gas than in buying party food. We took lots of pictures. We bought a few souvenirs. The boys had never been to a zoo. They remembered what they saw.

When we got home, weary and travel lagged, my sister-in-law threw a party. Our 11 year old opened presents from grandparents and aunts, people who really didn't have money to spare. He tossed each present aside without much interest then asked, "Is this all I got?"

And still, my inlaws aren't understanding why we're doing this.

For the next birthday we went to Stone Mountain. We quickly realized it can't be done in one day. I recommend going up for a weekend. Both boys want to go back. I have to warn you, it is expensive. I got thirsty and swiped my card at a vending machine. No prices were listed, but I figured it couldn't be more than a  $1.50 My bottle of water was $3.

While traveling home, I told my husband that I had done more traveling in the time that I had been with him than in 15 years of single life. (Our 3rd anniversary is in October.) I was merely stating a fact. When left to my own devices I stay home.

And we have yet another trip in June when we travel to Virginia to pick up the oldest son who's getting out of jail. And then, all 5 of our children will be living here with us. Yes, the 2nd oldest moved back in. Right after we told him when his brother was getting out. And yeah, I'm pretty sure that's some sibling rivalry thing.

In all likelihood, at least one boy will be living in a camper. We bought the camper for the 2nd, but immediately after purchase he decided he didn't want it. So we decided to put the oldest in it. Except it's in bad shape and needs remodeling. I got annoyed yesterday and told 2nd Son if he wasn't going to live in it then he would fix it for his brother. Suddenly he wanted the camper after all. He did more planning and budgeting in one hour than he's done in months. Not just planning a remodel, he started thinking about life choices. I wish I had said something months ago. I told him I wasn't kicking him out, but I was going to keep pushing him to meet goals. He has ideas, but he just talks vaguely. He never actually takes action.

But still, even if one child goes, the house is about to be in chaos. The younger boys will be out of school so they will stay with their aunt. Who lives in North Alabama. If we drop them off it adds hundreds of miles to the trip. Obviously someone else has to take them up but then there's the lack of a car problem. I offered to loan my mother in law our spare car but I don't trust my sister-in-law's driving. Mother in law doesn't want to go. I'm guessing I'm about to be accused of being unreasonable, impractical, and stingy. Oh, well.

2nd Son will be here but he's not very reliable which is why my niece and her boyfriend will keep house for us. This way I know the animals are fed and the garden is watered. But now I have to think about food, is my liquor cabinet safe, and if I will have the same number of Tarot decks upon return.

And then the parole officer or a deputy inspects the house. Fortunately, oldest son was charged with theft, not a violent crime. But still, it makes me think about repairs to be made, clearing clutter, oldest son finally using his clothes we stored in the closet, and do we really have enough beds?

It also brings to mind projects in progress, does our current furniture meet our needs, and how or what will change over the summer?

I decided to clean the whole house from top to bottom. I'll post my progress each day, talk about how I solve problems, and what magickal work I do along the way.  I don't know how long this will take. I'm expecting at least 3 posts, probably 5 or 6.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Some Updates

Enchanting the trash can to trap negative energy worked so well that I did the same spell on the bathroom trash can. In case you are wondering how I did it, I simply told the trash can that it would hold negativity to keep that energy from harming me or my family. I visualized anything negative flowing through the house and into the trash. I sealed the trash can with an equal armed cross so that what goes in can't come out. Not only does the house feel better but we've had a reduction of "why did you throw it away?!"

A friend of ours was moving so he allowed us to look into his barn which housed antiques, various tools, and all the other junk a family collects in 50 years of homesteading. We brought home antique school desks. I saw one being used as a night stand in a decorating magazine. I thought it was a fine idea. I moved the desk into my bedroom yesterday. Last night I had some very bizarre dreams. Make sure you smudge. Not just the antiques. Smudge the entire house on a regular basis.

I saw a funny post about why is it always ghosts from the 1800's. Why isn't it the ghost of someone who died in 2007? Well, it could be. Going into old places we just expect a 150 year old ghost. We usually don't pay enough attention to realize what is lingering. Or in drastic cases we assume it is poltergeist activity which falls more under Astral being rather than the formerly living.

I have lots of ideas for this year's Witches & Magick series but I haven't had much time to sew, thus I don't have time to write my Stitch Witchery posts. But I will because even time consuming chores don't last forever.

I have been doing cooking spells almost every day. This is the best way to keep my family happy and healthy.

The pollen is so bad this year, I'm taking allergy pills every four hours or sooner. I still can't spend much time outside because even on Benedryl I sneeze. This is making it rather difficult to garden.

That's all for now. Until next time, dear readers.