Blue Monday

 

I am struggling today. I had a very low sugar when my alarm went off at 5 o'clock. I was sweating and dizzy. I ate and took meds. I have been drained and cold ever since. I have been trying to do all the things that make my life easier. I did manage to get all the stars in one photo, but it's not a great photo. I'm trying to update the blog. I decided to work on my Etsy shop banner so I can update it on the summer solstice. 

Besides being a tired diabetic, I am an itchy mess. Tomorrow I get my allergy shot, which I am not sure works. I have several issues with the doctor's office- mainly they don't tell me anything and their system is online, so when their internet is out, which is often, they can't accept payments or look up my records. They want me to use an app, but another of my doctors uses the same app, and the app always bring up him instead of the allergist. It won't let me add the allergist; the app makes me have a different log in and password. Which I have forgotten. I feel very angry when I go to the allergist. 

I did find out that the scars from c-sections sometimes block off the body, making weight loss difficult. That explains a lot. I don't seem to lose weight, regardless of what I do. I found out I can massage the scar to restore/heal. I also think that because pregnancy is the most difficult thing I have ever done, and since I have a multitude of issues with my own mother, that I will carry the extra weight until I learn a lesson. Which doesn't seem fair at all. The Universe is hinting at something, which I am not getting, and then since it's not obvious to me, She punishes me with fat. Fuck off, Universe. You could just plainly tell me what I need to do.

A lot is happening this month. My husband is taking a class in Pennsylvania. The following week, he has to do a sleep study. It's the end of school. All 3 kids will be traveling at the end of the month. Which means I have to travel to Atlanta at least once, maybe twice, to put a boy on a plane. My daughter is going to Florida with my mother-in-law. I am not thrilled. Mother-in-law likes to test my parenting boundaries when she a long car drive away because she thinks I won't be able to do anything. I have a feeling I might be driving to Jacksonville in the middle of the night when misbehaved adults decide to show their ass. 

So that's my life right now. I'll talk about spells on Wednesday. Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well.