Up & Down

 Yesterday was really good. Great even. A spell I've been doing for 6 months finally started taking off. That made me ecstatically happy. I sang all the way to town. My two errands breezed by with zero problem. I decided to stop at the thrift store. I was certain I could find something cool. And I did. I found something I have been wanting, but thought I wouldn't find.

I'm sure you are wondering why I want a fake bible. It's because I saw a Witch on tiktok who altered one of these into a spell book. She repainted it, then added her favorite spell, and now it sits on her altar. I thought that was a fabulous idea. I know what spell I want to use. I haven't seen anything like this in ages, then I feel good and it's at the thrift store waiting for me. I was totally stoked. I also got a couple of frames so I could make more horse art. 

I came home, finished my housework, and worked in the garden. Gardening always makes me happy. I am planning to make a bean tepee for my daughter. I figured out where it should be, and how to set it up. Then I decided where my next section will be. I'm planning a 3 sisters plot. 

Then the boys came home. 

My husband wanted Middle Son to repair a tiller. We have several, but only one was running. I planned to use it for the 3 sisters, but before I could break ground, our neighbor borrowed the tiller. He broke it. He instantly offered to repair it, but meanwhile I can only break up as much ground as my aching back will allow, which isn't much at all. So Hubby had the idea of Middle Son fixing another tiller for me, Youngest Son could till for me, and Hubby would pay them both so they'd have money to spend on whatever useless junk teenage boys like to buy. 

Middle Son has been in a bad mood all week. When Hubby was trying to tell him what to do, Middle Son started rolling his eyes, sighing dramatically, and acting very inconvenienced. Hubby got annoyed, so he didn't bother explaining why he wanted the tiller fixed. I walked past the window and saw Middle Son bitching. I could see he was ranting while throwing tools on the ground. I called him inside. I told him pitching a fit was immature. He completely denied doing what I had just watched. Hubby got angry, explained he was going to pay him, but never mind now. Instantly, Middle Son started begging for another chance. We sent him out to put away tools, and told him we would be having a conversation about whatever was bothering him whether he wanted to talk or not. 

Of course, Middle Son would not say what was bothering him. I think there's several things. He did name one- he didn't want to swap bedrooms, and saw no reason to do that because he's moving away next year. We asked him before we swapped rooms. We explained why. He said ok. We said there were other things we could do if he didn't want to swap. He said it was fine, he didn't care. Then he had a meltdown yesterday about the bedroom. I pointed out if he moves he can't take that room with him, so he would be sleeping someplace totally different anyway. He started crying. I told him we did not get rid of any of his stuff, and I gave him several chances to speak up. I told him if he did not say what was bothering him, then he no right to complain about it later. He promptly clammed up again, so I expect another melt down before the weekend is over. 

This morning, I found the vape.

I was watering plants when one of the chickens began squawking like she had laid an egg. I didn't find an egg, but decided to look in other places the chickens nest. They were nesting in an old truck. My father-in-law has replaced the floor panels, so I didn't think the chickens could get in anymore, but I decided to open the door. The vape was laying on the floor. I'm certain this is old. I remember months ago, Middle Son was going in the truck constantly, often right in front of us. That's what he does; passive-aggressive sneaking. I have looked in other cars, but not all of them. No doubt I will find another vape. 

Dealing with Middle Son is exhausting. Trying to figure out what they boys are hiding is also exhausting. I'd like to have one good day without anything going wrong, then I could just cherish whatever small good thing happened. But no, the only constant is one of my sons being upset about something that doesn't really matter. 

Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well away from teenagers.

Witch Wednesday

 Short post today.

What I have here is a Chinese checkers game with missing pieces and the box from a very old art kit which belonged to Youngest Son. I decided the Chinese checkers board would make an excellent crystal grid. If the crystals are small enough, I could stand them in the holes. And the metal box is the perfect place to store my new crystal grid. Re-purpose and reuse. 

Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well.

Current Life Updates

 The thing I have been working towards finally has a date. I am so relieved. I've lost count of the number of road opener spells I've done. I'm going to keep at it until the thing happens. It's easier now that I have a date. I feel like I'm seeing results, and that makes it easier to tap into feelings of gratitude. 

Yesterday was hell. Saturday was prom. Middle Son waited until Friday to get his pants hemmed. Mother-in-law didn't start hemming until Saturday. She wanted Middle Son to stay next door until prom, and I agreed because it made my life easier. Middle Son's emotions bounce all over the place whenever anything different happens. I find this exhausting. If I do not try redirecting/soothing his feelings, he goes into a complete melt down. I was happy to have him out of my hair so I could have a nice day.

Youngest Son intended to go to prom, but his gf is a freshman, so the school would not let her attend. Her parents thought this was unfair, so they got her a dress, Youngest Son wore a suit, and they took prom pictures at the park. Then they changed clothes, went to the movies, and dinner. 

So Saturday was great for me. I soaked in the tub. I rarely get in the tub because my master bathroom only has a shower. I have to wait until no one is home, or else everyone bangs on the bathroom door to ask me stupid questions. Usually I notice how disgusting the bathroom is, and I don't feel clean. But Saturday the bathroom was fairly clean, I just soaked, and I felt marvelous when I got out. 

But Sunday was horrid. Middle Son had an attitude ALL day. He snapped at everyone, deliberately did things wrong to provoke arguments, balled up his fists like he wanted to fight, threw things, and hurt the dogs more than once. I don't know if he got rejected at the prom, if he took drugs, or if this was simply from spending hours with my sister-in-law. He's always a little brat when he's around her. She emphasizes the negative in everything, encourages him to rebel instead of forming a boundary or talking things out, and continuously insults him as 'teasing.' 

It also rained on Sunday, with the temperature dropping at least 20 degrees. I was struggling to plant in the rain. I picked up heavy pots and a bag of soil. My back began to ache. I took a muscle relaxer, which did nothing, so I also took a pain pill. My long covid symptoms flared up, so I had headaches, blurry vision, rashes, and coughing. Or maybe I had rashes from the stress of my son acting like a shit. Maybe everything hit me all at once. I spent the afternoon in bed. 

I tried making art on Sunday, but it didn't work because I was already in pain and Middle Son kept causing problems. I did come up with several ideas for my pony expressionalism series. I made notes on my phone so I wouldn't forget. I searched Etsy to get a rough price range, and I found that no one is doing anything exactly like I am. I also noticed prices on similar art was much lower than I expected. 

I checked out Threadless, because I thought my horses would look good on t-shirts. I found nothing but negative reviews, so I nixed that idea. I still don't like Etsy. I'm still not sure if my shop/account is suspended. I get stats on visits, but not search results. I haven't made a sale in months. Etsy takes listing fees each month. Since I'm not sure how active the shop is, I stopped listing items. Since I've starting doing the ponies, I don't know if I should keep going with the mirrors. Maybe I should do tiktok videos again, before our inept government ruins the only app that makes our lives better. I did decide I wasn't going to focus on other social media sites, unless it's YouTube. I feel like that's what the evil billionaires want, for us to despair over the tiktok loss and move to FB or Insta. Those sites aren't working for me. I see no point in trying to build a following on sites where none of my followers see or interact with my content. 

I found my Air Dragon. I took him to the studio. He was fine with me taking a picture; Air appreciates being noticed. I didn't take the picture though. The other dragons aren't okay with that right now. He also looks very different from the other dragons. My Earth Dragon is still making up her mind about Air. Fire and Water seem indifferent. I will be able to spend more time in the studio this summer. I should be able to practice Witchcraft/Dragon Magick consistently. I do spells daily, but I don't get to cast circles or do rituals. I would like to be able to work in the studio for most of the day. I want to open the studio each morning, connect with Dragons or spirit, set my intentions, cast spells as I stitch, and occasionally have a customer drive up for eggs or garden produce. Maybe they even buy a quilt. I am yet to work in the studio because half of it is filled with my husband's tools, there's no heat, the lighting sucks, and I can't leave Middle Son alone in the house due to his destructive behavior. Sigh. Soon.

Writing things down is still working for me, and saved Sunday dinner despite all stress. I put roast beef in the slow cooker, then had the boys make French fries while I laid on my heating pad. And I have dinner planned for tonight, and for tomorrow. So now matter what gets thrown at me today, I can stick to a routine. 

After I started tearing pages from the John Wayne book, I finally found pictures. Not very many though. I may use the pictures in future art. I made notes.

I want to reread my astronomy book, and hopefully I gain a better understanding of the Zodiac and Alchemy. Since I gave up on reading the John Wayne biography, I'm free to study the stars. 

I realized I haven't updates my blog pages in a while. It's on my to do list now. And I realized that I don't need the whole year's worth of projects before I start selling trees or stars. And I can set up my tent. That project sort of went on the back burner when my husband started building his pole barn/shop. I had that idea before I started writing things down, which is undoubtedly why it stalled. I will get there. I have the summer when Middle Son will be gone for at least a month. Baby steps are better than no steps. 

That's all for now. Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well. 

Studio Sunday- Pony Expressionalism

 

I got the first pony framed on torn pages of a John Wayne biography. 

This pony was made differently, and I was afraid it wouldn't work.

I had to trace over the design in marker to make it stand out.

At first, I tried weaving the paper strips together, but my pages weren't long enough to make an effective weaving. I just glued strips onto paper. I tried turning every other one upside down so it would be hard to read the words. 

More ponies to come! Blessed be, my dears! Stay safe and well.

Friday

 I have been doing much better these last few days. Writing everything down is what works for me. I updated my Life Control Binder. I have made lists for menus, projects, and chores. Every day, I read my list so I know what to do. This is the only way I can stay on track. The house is clean, cooking is less of a chore, I am finding more time to exercise, and since I know what to do, I feel less stress. I have started journaling about creating art. Ideas/solutions just pop into my head. 

This is art I made way back in 2007. It's called 'Pony Expressionalism.' I have several of these, which I love, but didn't know what to do with them.

Yesterday, I posted my ponies to Spoonflower because I thought they would make good fabric designs. I posted to DeviantArt and got several likes. I also posted to FB, where I got 1 like, and to Instagram, which was apparently ignored. 

I have a few that aren't finished. I decided the project needed to be complete. Even if they didn't have a purpose.

I got the idea of pasting the ponies to old book pages. I thought that would look good, especially if the book was horse related. I then realized that I probably could not put those on any of my social media because it risks copyright infringement. I started thinking maybe I could use a really old book, maybe something out of print. I could paint over pages or black out words. And then I realized I already have the perfect book for this, and I don't like it, so I won't feel bad about tearing it apart. I have been reading Duke The Life And Image of John Wayne. I find the book disappointing. I think it could have been so much better. John Wayne had an interesting life, but the book is boring. I have started skipping over parts. Then I realize that I skipped over a key detail that was only briefly introduced, so I struggle to find where that key detail first came in, but I can't find it. Annoyed, I will press on, feeling a bit lost. I am also annoyed that the says And Image, but even though I am several chapters in, I haven't seen one picture. I get that John Wayne was a film actor, and the books talks about his movies which are images, but the title had me expecting many pictures. 

So anyway, John Wayne is fairly synonymous with guns and horses. I think this is the perfect background for my ponies. I've decided to tear the pages into thin strips. I may weave the strips together. This way the text isn't recognizable.  If I have a lot of the book left over, I think I'll make cows. 

Hopefully, I will have a finished page by Sunday for my Studio Sunday post. If not, I will just show you whatever I've got in progress. 

Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well.

Witch Wednesday

 

I hung up these prisms in the center of my house to promote good health. As you can see, they are rather dusty.

I got a chandelier at the estate sale. I was only interested in it for the prisms. I started taking them off.

I saved all the wire/metal fittings. These I added to a protection spell jar.

I started washing crystals.

Everything all clean and drying. At this point, I wanted to arrange crystals into lovely designs. That did not happen because Youngest Son has poison ivy, so I had to go check him out of school. See what I mean? Kids ruin my spells. 

This would also make a very nice crystal grid. I decided not to make this because I think it is too big. 

I decided to string the crystals onto a metal ring. I got everything arranged. I got most of the prisms on the ring. I began aligning/spacing. 

Then lots of things happened. I got tired. I had to go to town. I got several calls/texts. My husband tried to get a different insurance, and I needed to find information. The grand babies came over. It was time to cook dinner. More texts. Energy clearing session with one of my cousins. More people came over to get car parts. So I did not finish my spell. 

Really, that's how it goes whenever I try to do anything with my health, whether it's a change in diet or exercise. I figure out what I need, I do my research, I make adjustments, then I start doing the thing and lots of stuff happens to stop me. Universe, please. I just want to do the thing. Stop blocking me.  

Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well.

Tuesday

 

I found a little snake by my compost bins. He's harmless. I really had to zoom in to get details. I did not try to kill it because I don't believe in killing snakes just because they're snakes. 

I had strange dreams last night. I dreamed the boys hurt my daughter. I told them I would start treating them the same way they treated her. They ignored me. One tried to hit me. I sent both to bed. 

I mention this dream because my cousin did my natal chart. She said I need to look to my dreams so I can heal. I'm pretty sure there's much healing to be done with the boys. I'm also sure I can't be the only one trying to heal; they need to address their issues. I've tried several times to strengthen family unity. My spells usually fall apart. Sometimes Middle Son breaks them. He will break spell bottles, knock over candles, drop an entire dish of food, or tear apart art. It is really frustrating to check the moon/calendar, spend an afternoon crafting something, then 10 minutes after he comes home, the thing is ruined. I decided I could only heal myself, not them. 

I will post screen shots of the natal chart. It's a lot of information. 

I need to renew/redo a spell I have for health. I wanted to do it yesterday, but both boys were home sick, and I find it difficult to do spells when they're around. They interrupt constantly. I can chant to myself, and I can add energy to things, but I cannot do a full ritual or cast a circle because at least one boy will wander into my area and make a mess.

I have decided to start a new art project. This is something I can draw, then easily turn into fabric on Spoonflower. 

And I also want to start using my life control binder because it keeps me on track. I have several projects that have fallen to the side because I never think about them. If I don't think about it, nothing happens.

That's all for now. Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well.