My poison post will most likely wait until Monday. I have been at a low level of anxiety all weekend, ever since I decided if we got out of this financial mess, it would be because I got us a steady income. A low level of anxiety probably doesn't sound that bad, but when it's always there and just never goes away then it is a horrible constant thing. I'm trying to stay cool and see what develops. What I want to do is have a screaming fit. To top it all off, I dreamed of Mr. Dragon last night which made me rethink my choice all day long. I probably wouldn't be rethinking if I wasn't already anxious.
Sigh. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The Witchcraft of FreeDragon
2 comments:
Hey lady, I was reading thins and thinking of how to throw some witchy-shit at it. Consider working with a worry stone, kinda like transferring the worry into an external hard drive. Of perhaps setting up an internal shield between yourself and the worry?
As someone who is 100% only in YOUR corner, I agree that it would probably be overall healthier for you to be able to 100% support yourself, however PLEASE don't allow him to easily fall into the role of being supported by you ever again. Maybe fear of taking away his reason for working is adding to your anxiety?
Oh, and I agree with your assessment of the dream, I feel like your mind is just draggin' up 'what-if's and that's not productive.
When I agreed to staying home, I didn't think about what would happen if he failed to have a steady income. I should of had a back up plan.
Kurt gives up way to easy. He lets small things stop him.
There is also the problem of his life has improved. He went from living in a run down shack to a trailer with a crazy bitch to my little house in the country. Even if we end up with nothing his life still isn't as bad as it was because he's already been at rock bottom.
I've started filling out spplications. I like the worry stone idea. I have a nice little egg shaped crystal I could use. I do feel better now. I told Kurt how I was feeling and why I was going back to work. I've been writing in my journal too, this helps me see what's really a problem and what's just a fear.
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