All Kitchen Witches Can Kill You

We don't train in poison, we learn how to cook safely. We know to fully cook the meat. We know to clean and avoid salmonella. We know which herbs should be used with caution. So if we wanted to murder somebody, we would just do the opposite of all these things.

Did you know all the greenery on tomato plants are poisonous? In fact, in the Middle Ages, tomatoes were thought to be fully poisonous and no part of it could be consumed. That makes me wonder how the fruit was discovered to be not only edible but delicious.

As I learn more and more herbalism, I discover all kinds of ways to die, not just humans, but dogs too. Aloe will cause diarrhea in humans and is lethal if dogs eat it. Azalea will easily kill both dogs and children. I've heard lilies are deadly. Dantras will most certainly kill any living thing. Oleanders will kill. Potatoes, surprisingly enough, can kill. Uncooked kidney beans will make you so sick you'll wish you'd die.

Sometimes benign things can kill, which is why if you are lacking foxglove you can kill a person with aspirin if you give them enough- it thins the blood. Sometimes what is deadly is the dose and sometimes it is just a matter of choosing the wrong part of the plant or just not preparing something properly.

And if you're thinking the poison must be hidden or that it would have a bitter taste, then you must realize cooks are expert at flavorings. As I study sweet, sour, and strong, I can't help but see a shadow side. In all comprehensive lists, there are things unspoken. A wise witch can make you miserable with baking soda.

Perhaps why witches are so feared is not whether they have actually done wrong, but they have the raw power to do whatever they please. Being a good witch or a bad witch isn't in what you know, it's in what you do. I choose not to pour a bit of vinegar in your morning milk. Now if you choose to not piss me off, we'll get along just fine.