Red Rhino

About three years the company I work for experienced a hostile take-over by the Missouri Mafia. Of course, it wasn't really, that's just what we have come to call it.

Our VP wanted a promotion. To achieve this he split his job in half and made a position for a VP of Production and a VP of Sales. He became Sales. He hired a man I'm going to call Ubu to be VP of Production.

Ubu made all kinds of promises- he could get the scrap down to 2%. He could raise profits. He could do this and he could to that- and he could do it all in 2 years.

As soon as Ubu was hired he hired his wife, his best friend, the best friend's wife, and ten more people. We were not hiring at the time. Ubu simply brought in a whole crew of people from his old job in Missouri and gave them paychecks.

Now some of these people are alright. They just wanted better paying jobs and more affordable housing. I don't have problems with ALL of them, just the best friend (who's on drugs) and Ubu's wife.

We call Ubu's wife Red Rhino. She is a rather obese woman. I'll admit she's lost some weight- now she can fit through the door like a normal person. She has a horrid shade of red hair, some henna concoction gone very bad.

The job Ubu gave her was customer liaison. Red Rhino took one look at the paperwork involved, pawned the grunt work off on a temp, and then declared herself Head of Housekeeping.

Red Rhino averages spending $5,000 per week. She buys a staggering amount of 409. She buys light bulbs. She bought toolboxes for the pill-poppin' BF and then bought all the tools to go in it. She got motivational posters for our hallways and bathrooms. She had a table specially made to replace a perfectly good table just because she didn't like the way it looked. Red Rhino is pushy, rude, bossy, and now she's after my job.

Nearly a year ago I was fed-up with my job. I asked Ubu if there was anything else in the plant that I could do. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but Ubu went in the morning production meeting and made fun of me for asking for a promotion. However, it worked out good for me b/c if Ubu hadn't been an ass word of my discontent wouldn't have reached the ears of Fierce Leader.

What Fierce Leader didn't know was Ubu intended to put Red Rhino in that position b/c she wanted it. She too dumb to keep her personal checkbook balanced, but she wanted the job so her husband decided it would be OK for her to manage a million dollar inventory.

After Fierce Leader hired me Ubu conspired with my old boss to keep me in my sucky job. They deliberately didn't hire my replacement b/c part of the deal was I would train the new person before I left. They delayed me by a week.

Next the BF took to hiding parts and keys and supplies. I managed to find everything. He often tells me to order parts that don't exist or he gives me the wrong part number. I printed out all the emails and give them to my boss so Fierce Leader would know it wasn't my fault. A word of advice here- when you are trying to screw someone over DON'T WRITE ANYTHING DOWN! It can and will be used as evidence later.

Now Red Rhino has grown impatient and since I just won't do anything that could get me fired, she's making up lies about me.

She's told Fierce Leader that I take too many breaks. (The cameras have proved otherwise.) She said I stole things from her office ( I was out the day she said I did it.) Then she said I over-ordered cleaning supplies (The purchase orders show there's only one fool ordering cleaning supplies and her initials are RR)

I've tried banishing the woman in the past but nothing really worked. So I completely rearranged my thinking on the subject. I decided to believe Red Rhino is leaving. I didn't try to figure out where she is going or why, I just believe she's leaving for good. I am very happy about this. Every time I see her I think, She's leaving soon. Then I smile. I feel good for the rest of the day. This is the power of positive thought. And it's working. Ever since I started this experiment Red Rhino has left work by 11am.

Think good thoughts and good things will happen!