Time for a Banishing Spell

You remember Hong Kong Phooey, don’t you? He could do it all, or so he thought. He never seemed to notice how much the cat helped. Anyway, I work for the real-life version of Hong Kong Phooey (henceforth to be called Foo) Foo is Fierce Leader’s boss. I don’t have to deal with him very much, thankfully.

Foo is the worst one-upper I’m ever seen. No matter what you have done, no matter where you’ve been, no matter who you are, Foo can top it.

Kevin is a truck driver. Actually he has several skills and his full time job is maintenance, but he keeps his CDL current in the event that should he be fired or laid off he can go back to driving until he finds another job. Kev drives part-time for the company we both work for. Foo is the maint. supervisor, or at least I think that is what he is supposed to be. He tells us all what to do at any rate. I’ve heard rumors that he is an engineer. I suspect the company failed to check his references. Foo claims he used to drive a truck, back when trucks were “real men” who actually had to drive, and not like it is now with air conditioned trucks and all.

Foo has also been a cattle farmer. And a business man. And he had a terrible accident several years ago. The windshield wiper pierced his heart, his armed was cut off (but got sewed on the next day) and he was in a coma but he’s fine now….

Sniff. Sniff. Smell that bullshit?

I don’t tell people I’m a witch, but it seems everyone at work knows anyway. Thursday Foo came upstairs to inform I had to start writing bi-weekly reports. Foo was in a bullshit spreading mood so he told me that some people don’t like me b/c of my religion but he’s fine with it because he knew the man who started it all- Aleister Crowley.

I just looked at Foo. I KNEW he was making it up, but I couldn’t remember enough about Crowley to make a definitive statement. BTW- Crowley was dubbed the ‘wickedest man in the world’ and he was kicked out of three countries. I vaguely remember from my reading that he got in trouble in the ‘20’s when one of his followers died. As soon as I had a chance, I got on the Internet and discovered that Aleister Crowley died in NINETEEN FORTY-SEVEN.

I hope Foo makes up another ridiculous lie so I can call him on it. Unless Foo is about 120 years old there’s no way in hell he ever hung out with Crowley.

Later that day I went to lunch with Kevin and Kev is furious. He asked, “Did you tell Foo you moved?”

“Well, yeah. I got off early to finish moving and he asked where I moved.”

“Don’t. Tell. Him. ANYTHING. Else.”

“Why?”

“He keeps telling me you’re sleeping with your landlord.”

“What?!”

And that’s when I realized Foo is playing us. He’s buddy-buddy to me and an ass to Kev.
I really started wondering- sometimes people act like they’re mad at me and I haven’t done anything. Why? What were they told? Who would spread lies for no reason? Foo, that’s who.