The thing I have been working towards finally has a date. I am so relieved. I've lost count of the number of road opener spells I've done. I'm going to keep at it until the thing happens. It's easier now that I have a date. I feel like I'm seeing results, and that makes it easier to tap into feelings of gratitude.
Yesterday was hell. Saturday was prom. Middle Son waited until Friday to get his pants hemmed. Mother-in-law didn't start hemming until Saturday. She wanted Middle Son to stay next door until prom, and I agreed because it made my life easier. Middle Son's emotions bounce all over the place whenever anything different happens. I find this exhausting. If I do not try redirecting/soothing his feelings, he goes into a complete melt down. I was happy to have him out of my hair so I could have a nice day.
Youngest Son intended to go to prom, but his gf is a freshman, so the school would not let her attend. Her parents thought this was unfair, so they got her a dress, Youngest Son wore a suit, and they took prom pictures at the park. Then they changed clothes, went to the movies, and dinner.
So Saturday was great for me. I soaked in the tub. I rarely get in the tub because my master bathroom only has a shower. I have to wait until no one is home, or else everyone bangs on the bathroom door to ask me stupid questions. Usually I notice how disgusting the bathroom is, and I don't feel clean. But Saturday the bathroom was fairly clean, I just soaked, and I felt marvelous when I got out.
But Sunday was horrid. Middle Son had an attitude ALL day. He snapped at everyone, deliberately did things wrong to provoke arguments, balled up his fists like he wanted to fight, threw things, and hurt the dogs more than once. I don't know if he got rejected at the prom, if he took drugs, or if this was simply from spending hours with my sister-in-law. He's always a little brat when he's around her. She emphasizes the negative in everything, encourages him to rebel instead of forming a boundary or talking things out, and continuously insults him as 'teasing.'
It also rained on Sunday, with the temperature dropping at least 20 degrees. I was struggling to plant in the rain. I picked up heavy pots and a bag of soil. My back began to ache. I took a muscle relaxer, which did nothing, so I also took a pain pill. My long covid symptoms flared up, so I had headaches, blurry vision, rashes, and coughing. Or maybe I had rashes from the stress of my son acting like a shit. Maybe everything hit me all at once. I spent the afternoon in bed.
I tried making art on Sunday, but it didn't work because I was already in pain and Middle Son kept causing problems. I did come up with several ideas for my pony expressionalism series. I made notes on my phone so I wouldn't forget. I searched Etsy to get a rough price range, and I found that no one is doing anything exactly like I am. I also noticed prices on similar art was much lower than I expected.
I checked out Threadless, because I thought my horses would look good on t-shirts. I found nothing but negative reviews, so I nixed that idea. I still don't like Etsy. I'm still not sure if my shop/account is suspended. I get stats on visits, but not search results. I haven't made a sale in months. Etsy takes listing fees each month. Since I'm not sure how active the shop is, I stopped listing items. Since I've starting doing the ponies, I don't know if I should keep going with the mirrors. Maybe I should do tiktok videos again, before our inept government ruins the only app that makes our lives better. I did decide I wasn't going to focus on other social media sites, unless it's YouTube. I feel like that's what the evil billionaires want, for us to despair over the tiktok loss and move to FB or Insta. Those sites aren't working for me. I see no point in trying to build a following on sites where none of my followers see or interact with my content.
I found my Air Dragon. I took him to the studio. He was fine with me taking a picture; Air appreciates being noticed. I didn't take the picture though. The other dragons aren't okay with that right now. He also looks very different from the other dragons. My Earth Dragon is still making up her mind about Air. Fire and Water seem indifferent. I will be able to spend more time in the studio this summer. I should be able to practice Witchcraft/Dragon Magick consistently. I do spells daily, but I don't get to cast circles or do rituals. I would like to be able to work in the studio for most of the day. I want to open the studio each morning, connect with Dragons or spirit, set my intentions, cast spells as I stitch, and occasionally have a customer drive up for eggs or garden produce. Maybe they even buy a quilt. I am yet to work in the studio because half of it is filled with my husband's tools, there's no heat, the lighting sucks, and I can't leave Middle Son alone in the house due to his destructive behavior. Sigh. Soon.
Writing things down is still working for me, and saved Sunday dinner despite all stress. I put roast beef in the slow cooker, then had the boys make French fries while I laid on my heating pad. And I have dinner planned for tonight, and for tomorrow. So now matter what gets thrown at me today, I can stick to a routine.
After I started tearing pages from the John Wayne book, I finally found pictures. Not very many though. I may use the pictures in future art. I made notes.
I want to reread my astronomy book, and hopefully I gain a better understanding of the Zodiac and Alchemy. Since I gave up on reading the John Wayne biography, I'm free to study the stars.
I realized I haven't updates my blog pages in a while. It's on my to do list now. And I realized that I don't need the whole year's worth of projects before I start selling trees or stars. And I can set up my tent. That project sort of went on the back burner when my husband started building his pole barn/shop. I had that idea before I started writing things down, which is undoubtedly why it stalled. I will get there. I have the summer when Middle Son will be gone for at least a month. Baby steps are better than no steps.
That's all for now. Blessed be, my dears. Stay safe and well.
No comments:
Post a Comment