Glad the Weekend is Over

 A lot of things came to light over the weekend. Most were really unpleasant. 

Mother-in-law had asked if she could take youngest son to piano lessons. I wasn't thrilled with this. Things get way more complicated when the in-laws are involved. Friday afternoon my daughter got out of the bathtub and I started combing her hair. Then I remembered piano lessons, and since I was sorta busy, I sent the boy next door to see if his grandmother could take him. I warned him not to create drama.

What I didn't know was that grandma was out of town. Completely disregarding what I said, the boy told his aunt he needed a ride. Then he came back with that info. I can't trust her with my children. She gives the boys tablets so they can sit up all night watching porn. So I stopped combing out tangles and dropped the youngest boy off.

This led to my husband getting phone calls. We talked about the situation. I offered to unblock his family. He said it wouldn't make any difference. Then he told me how often he gets those calls. He also told me how his family treats him. He told me he doesn't want to celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas because he doesn't want any contact with them.

And I knew about some of these things. I didn't know the extent. It is much worse than I thought. 

I debated even writing this post. Trying to explain it all takes forever. Having lived through these events makes me reluctant to rehash the mess. I don't understand the behavior. Nothing gets resolved. There is no improvement. All writing about it does is explain my absence on this blog. 

Other things have happened. I can't see. My sugar has been too high, so the nerve endings in my eyes are damaged. Maybe if I get my sugar down, they will grow back. But for right now, reading is difficult. Sewing is tricky. And if the nerve endings come back, it will happen slowly, not instantly. I have some reading glasses and that helps with the close up things, though I do feel a little sick to my stomach when I glance across the room and everything is out of focus. 

Migraine headaches are back. Being so nearsighted is making me very sensitive to light and movement. We went to an outdoor flea market and the constant looking down at the uneven ground, then looking ahead to navigate around groups of people, the bright sun, and the high number of things that spun or flashed to draw attention had my head pounding. I wanted to vomit. I felt like someone had beaten the side of my head in. It hurt to touch it.

So that's life- blindly stumbling around, cussing fools, reading library books with a flashlight in a brightly lit room, and barely making art. I stopped taking pain pills because the rain ended so my back doesn't hurt, but now I'm not sleeping. Everything is a mess.