I am really happy with Will. We've only been back together for a few short days, but every single day, often three or four times, he does something that makes me smile. We work conflicting schedules, but somehow this doesn't matter too much because the time we do have seems to loom shining above everything else. I live for my weekends now because that's when I'm going to see Will. My co-workers keep telling me I'm glowing. I realized I was humming the other day. I don't think I've hummed since I came home from the hospital. I'm just that happy. Everybody who knows me is happy for me. All but one.
Sigh. This is so ridiculous. The man who set me on the back burner suddenly thinks I am THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY and he wants me back. He didn't really have me, but never mind, his goal is to make me his.
I really can't believe it. He told me he didn't want me. He is the whole reason I got back with Will because if he hadn't been stringing me along in the first place, I wouldn't have ever sent Will a friend request. If Will had contacted me, I would have said, "Great to see you again, sorry, I've got a man." But that's not what happened. Back Burner said he didn't want to commit. He might want to work things out with another woman. But let's still be friends.
I really hate the 'let's be friends' shit. Either love me or let me go, don't try to hedge your bets.
So anyway, Back Burner Man dropped me like a hot potato and I moved on. I didn't see any reason to wait around. He said he wasn't interested. No need to throw myself at him.
Will came to see me at work Friday. And ever since then, Back Burner has been hovering around my station. He is becoming more and more attentive, he wants to talk more and more, he shows more and more interest. Then tonight he spun a story about why he did what he did and I would believe him EXCEPT the time frame doesn't exactly add up. It's one of those niggling little details that stands out to the point that I trip over it. I keep going over what I know and well, either the math is off or there is a lot more going on. Then I thought about when I first met Back Burner, how he flirted UNTIL I broke up with Kurt. Suddenly he became much more low key.
Tonight Back Burner wanted me to spend my break with him. But ya know, I had a message from Will. Oops. Busy. One man wants me, the other just wants what he can't have. This isn't a tough decision. Twenty years ago, I was completely faithful to Will. He was my first, I loved him dearly, and I would have done anything for him. Twenty years later, Will still makes me holler. I think he's earned my fidelity and then some.