Just Getting By

It has been quite the financial adventure this month. I do money magick all the time and while we somehow manage to stay afloat, we are not getting ahead. So far, we have whatever we need when we need it, but I do stare at the ceiling each night wondering exactly how we are going to make ends meet. I have found a better way to sell items I have made, but this is small change and not enough to pay the bills. I am trying to stay focused and positive.

I keep trying to expand, create opportunity, and be flexible. We continually hit dead ends. Kurt was promised two jobs. I was happy over the weekend because I was sure he would have steady work beginning today. Neither job materialized. So he went on yet another interview just to find out the guy doing the hiring was absent today. An hour ago, he got a call about filling in, but it's only tonight. He'll probably spend more in gas going up there than he'll make.

When he's at work, I have no transportation unless I drop him off, which is a huge waste of gas. I don't know what I will do if I get a job and we have end up on opposite shifts or working in different towns. I was trying to wait until he got settled into something permanent, but I may just have to go back to work and deal with whatever difficulties arise. If he could get something steady, or if I could make more money sewing, this wouldn't be an issue.

In more happy news, my future mother-in-law is giving me sewing stuff, cross stitch canvas, embroidery floss, and quilt scraps. I am still stitching along. Today I started making Christmas stockings.

Everything I do now seems to preparing for the future. I am making Christmas items before Mabon. I am gardening so we'll have food later. I gather scrap metal for money later. Everything is later, later, later and I worry about the current moment passing me by.

Have you seen those Doomsday preppers? Those are people who can't enjoy the moment because they are convinced we're all about to die. They all have a year's supply of food and I just wonder what happens when the year is up. Some of them have animals and wonder how they will walk their dogs during a nuclear holocaust. If you live under ground, where does your sewage go? How does fresh air come into your bunker?

Kurt and I saw the hippies on the National Geographic Channel, the ones living in the old missile silo. I thought they were cool because they are the only people I've seen focusing on comfort. They have a hot tub. Awesome. They were also comfort-oriented in choosing the people who would live in the silo with them; they had a chef and an intuitive healer.

I asked Kurt what we would do when the zombie apocalypse came. He pointed out that people would be much more likely to become cannibals than zombies. I decided he was right and asked how we were going to prepare for the Cannibal Zombie Armageddon. He hadn't thought about it. I pointed out how we both have skills- he's a mechanic, a former EMT and firefighter, and I can sew, cook, and garden. We decided any Doomsdayers would be damn lucky to get us. So we're still not worrying about zombies, and are awaiting invitations to bunker housewarmings.