Sunday, December 12, 2010

I Think It's Time to Let Go

This is a hard post to write. I've started over a couple of times now. I was going to give the background, but I decided to just tell why I am upset, and if anyone thinks I am wrong for feeling this way, please say so.

I live in Tallapoosa County which is more or less in the center of the state. One of my friends flew in from Texas the weekend after Thanksgiving. She had been at her sister's house in Georgia over a week before she emailed me.

I think she emailed once more after that. She wanted to see me, and I said of course, but we never made any plans. It was always, of course I want to see you, I'll call....

I was starting to feel a bit left out. I sort of felt like if she wanted to see me so bad she would have put forth more effort. Her mother held a party the first weekend in December. Instead of calling me, my friend had one of her sisters invite me. That was the week of low sugars so I didn't feel well. I stayed home.

I suppose I could have gone. But Kevin wasn't available to drive me and I was worried about driving so far alone. Because I live in the middle of the state and the others live along the Georgia/Alabama border, it wouldn't have been polite to ask someone to pick me up.

Today my friend called and invited me to the oldest sister's house in Valley. I can take Highway 50 and it's not too bad of a drive, but it's not a short little trip either. It's not like running to the store for milk.

The visit lasted 20 minutes and then she left. It took me longer to drive there than to visit. If I had known it was going to be such a short reunion I would have just stayed home. And I asked when she called if she was planning on being there for a while and she said yes. They left because they were hungry. Now there's lots of options. The oldest sister could have cooked something. They could have ran up to the several fast food chains three streets over. They could have ordered a pizza.

I visited with the oldest sister for a while. Then I made the long drive back home. Did I mention the snow? It rarely snows here. On the way, it started to snow as I got into Chambers County. It didn't stick, but usually when it snows I stay in my house and refuse to venture out. It snowed all the way home. I just prayed it wouldn't turn into a blizzard.

I feel like my friend gave no thought to the distance, the time, the cold, or the expense of gas. I feel like she didn't really want to see me, maybe she just felt obligated. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Should I have tried harder to contact her? Should I have gone to the party? Several times I invited her to my home and she always gave a vague response. So do I cut loose or no?


Chrysalis said...

What an awful feeling. I can only imagine that your feelings are really hurt.

I have a motto for my life. Basically, I feel like my life is an island and I control who is permitted on. I do not allow anyone who does not love me, cherish me, or at least respect me. I don't have the time or the energy to maintain relationships with those kinds of people.

I guess if I were in your position, I would try to decide if your friend should stay on your island. All I can say is that I don't think the way you are feeling is silly or stupid. I would feel the same.

Living in Muddy Waters said...

I think you hit it on the head when you said "obligated." Sometimes it is hard to admit when you have grown apart.

The fact that they didn't invite you to go eat with them was telling.

You're not wrong to feel this way.

FreeDragon said...

After much thought I have decided to say nothing. If I see her number on caller id, I won't answer. If she emails, no reply. Letters and cards I might read, but I won't write back. Since she was so thoughtless of me, I doubt I will be hearing from her. If she asks why I'm not responding, I'll be honest. But I don't look for that either.