How Things Are Going

My in-laws were making plans behind my back again. This had been going on for a while. Hubby tried to fix it by telling his sister to call me. She would not. So it just kept building and the boys were getting more anxious until finally they had an argument. In trying to settle that, more stuff came out. I realized just how toxic the in-laws' behavior is, and worse, the boys are now at an age to notice.

I intended to have a family meeting. I wanted all this out in the open. Not that I think anything would change, but because the boys need to be able to deal with it. They need to learn how to maintain their boundaries. The family meeting never happened for a few reasons. First, I had a serious allergic reaction and spent almost the whole week in bed. Second, the in-laws totally blew off the boys and I figured if the adults were going to be catty towards children then they would never sit down to a logical, reasonable discussion. And finally, it became one of our usual jammed packed weekends, only worse because I was sick as a dog so a lot of stuff piled up.

Will and I faced the issue head on by him calling his sister and urging her to call me. She made lots of excuses so Will gave me his phone and I forced her to have a conversation. I don't think it shamed her at all. This will happen again, but at least now nothing is going on behind my back. I really hate my in-laws. My husband got 2 job offers this week, both at least an hour and a half drive from here. I hate moving and I don't want to start over but I was sorely tempted to tell him to go for it.

Since I had the horrible reaction I've started taking benadryl twice a day. I don't like it. The world feels surreal. I am afraid that when I work outside my home I will have reactions every day and possibly lose my job for being out too much. This is not easy, and I will probably make myself sick several times before I find the right balance.

I'm reading more. Not at the same level as when I was single and could read as much as I liked, but enough that I read what I want, I read at least a chapter a day, and I am actually finishing books before the library due date. My library did away with late fees. They simply automatically renew books. I still feel guilty for keeping books passed the 2 week mark.

In better news, I found my dragon! I drew a small dragon several years ago. I knew had saved the paper, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I searched the whole house. Nada. I even tried drawing him again, but nothing looked right. I gave up. I'm trying to organize my projects. I emptied a box last night, then took the box to the studio. I decided to pack up another project half done (and label the box.) As I was sorting through bags I found a folder full of paper. I opened the folder and there was my dragon! I was so happy! I also found my paintings and several Celtic knot designs. WooHoo! Clean is good!

Nothing really happening art wise, other than I am way behind schedule. I am glad I already put in a lot of work, or else I doubt I will be ready for my summer shows. Someone saw my trees, and while he didn't understand, he did like them. I like my trees. I think they will do well in the show.

I decided to teach my daughter how to weave. I think she can manage that more or less on her own. She's 3, will be 4 in August. I want her to have skills. If she doesn't like weaving we will move on to something else.

No news in Witchcraft. I realize I need to do something about my in-laws, but I don't know what yet. I cleaned and sealed all the mirrors in the living room yesterday. With all the negative energy and toxic behavior bouncing around I think they needed it. I've been thinking of doing another dedication ritual, something to weld my energies to this piece of land. But the ideas are still forming. I don't have a definite plan yet.