The Big Sleep

Halloween draws closer and closer. Some people believe the whole world ends on Halloween and is reborn the next day. I find this to be a fascinating concept, and I would like to be reborn just a bit better then when I ended.

Others say the veil between the worlds is thin, the thinnest it can be, and so more things are possible. I like that idea too, of being able to do the impossible.

And some Witches say Halloween is the New Year. Again, this is an idea I like. Most people like the traditional New Year because it's shiny and full of promise. I like the Halloween New Year because it's dark. Beginnings are usually hard. Often there's a lot of work ahead. Sometimes there's nothing to do but trudge forward and suddenly the hard part is over and you're amazed by the shiny success.

To me Halloween is a transition. I'm preparing for the Dreaming Time of the year. I spend a lot of time thinking about what needs to leave my life, then I dream over the winter months, planning for what I would like to invite in. On Halloween I banish. I make a list of every single thing that bothers me, both large and small, issues and ideas, people and problems. I burn the paper in my cauldron. I LET GO. Often, I see results the next day. Once, I was in a hostile working environment. I ran a machine in a lab. Several gossiping women were also in the lab because there wasn't any other place for them to work. They were just there, they weren't doing any kind of lab tests. The lab tech and I suffered mightily. We had no space, our tests often went awry because some careless soul shoved vials out of place, and all day we heard about everyone's business- who was cheating, who was on drugs, who was in debt, etc. That Halloween I banished the women and the next day when I went to work, they were gone. The manager thought the women needed a larger working space, so he set up cubicle walls on the over side of the building and took the whole troop as far away from the lab as they could go. It was heaven and the lab tech and I were finally at peace. This is why I work on issues that seem impossible- you never know what will happen until you try. At the top of my banishing list this year will be diabetes. Maybe before 2012 is over there'll be a cure.

This is the time of the year when the wheel seems to turn much slower. The days, though short in light, seem to last longer. The long winter afternoons are when I can hear every tick of the clock and long eternities linger between each single of the pendulum. There is nothing to do but reflect, to ponder what kind of person I am and if I like myself.

I think this is why I hate the holidays. I want to move slowly. Everyone around me wants to rush. I want to be alone, everyone else wants to gather. We need some festivities in winter, otherwise we would all be depressed. But the holidays to me are always too much- too much food and drink, too many people, too much money spent. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one looking inward.

I'm more tired this year. I've had so many changes I've lost count of all the things that have happened to me. I won't be banishing much because mo many things have already gone from me and some of those things/people I didn't want to leave. This might be the Big Sleep where I actually rest instead of dream.

One change I know I must make is how I live in Nature. Just about every day now, I go outside to sit in the ley line in my backyard. I must connect with the Earth. I feel a difference if I don't. Sometimes I wish I lived in a tent and slept on the bare ground so that I could feel the elements all the time. This is an insane thought for me. I do all my camping at Holiday Inn. If I want to 'rough it', I go to Motel 6. I remember watching 'Two Fat Ladies' with AJ and one, Clarissa, I think, said her aunt was rather eccentric so she kept a tent in her parlor and in Clarissa's mind that was the only proper place for one. I totally agree. I can't live without hot water. If I did live in a tent it would have a bath tub. And a toilet. Okay, I can't live in a tent.

But I do want to experience Nature more directly. I don't own an umbrella. I just get wet and people think I'm crazy for walking in the rain. Do you remember the show 'Eastwick'? My favorite Witch was Eleanor. I LOVED her house! The inside melded so well with the outside it was hard to tell where the walls ended. She had plants every where. The first time she appeared on the show, she was cooking and singing to a nesting hen. I want my house to be like that, but with Roxy's kitchen. Being in touch with the land has become very important to me, possibly one of the most important things I can do as a Witch and I don't think I can touch anything from the couch.

Maybe when I wake from the Dreaming Time I'll be entangled with Nature. I'm not ready for a tent, but I should be able to tend a few more houseplants.