What Am I For?

I was going to write a post on seduction, because that's what is on my mind. Then I read a post over at hecatedemeter about what kind of witch are you?

And because of the kind of witch I am, I can blend both posts into one.

I am a work-behind-the-scenes witch. I am concerned with the small things because I have faith the macrocosm will take care of itself whether I give it input or not. But the mircocosm is a bit different because small things matter an awful lot. Sometimes small is very big.

For this reason, you won't ever see me on television in full witch regalia. You might see me at a festival or circle meeting on Mabon or Halloween, but don't bother asking for my name, I won't give it to you. I respect the Pagans who are out of the broom closet, they make life easier for the rest of us, but it's a very personal choice to allow yourself to be defined by one thing. Some people can't do it; they have multiple faces which may conflict. If I come out, then my family will probably shun me. It's sad they can't love me enough to let me be myself, but I love them enough to refrain from embarrassing them. Giving up is sometimes a great but unappreciated gift.

I want to be more. I always want to be more. Whatever I can do encourages me to reach for the next brass ring. I don't do anything by halves. I'm not going to read a book, I'm going to read, search the Internet, ask my friends what they thought, and probably go see the movie. When I am certain I have explored all my options, then I'm done. It's not enough for me to observe the Turn of the Wheel, I want to see just how it turns here so I can be Witch of This Place. Put me in a different place (please don't, I love the mighty Tallapoosa River) and I will have a different view of another Turn.

Small matters. Sure, the world turns. But did you ever look really close to see why it turned? Look at a clock, a real clock, an old clock with cogs and gears. Take out just one tiny little gear and everything stops. All the small details add up to harmony.

I believe I am worth more than the sum of my parts. I believe if I had lived during the Burning Times I would have surely met an early demise in the flames and I would have left this earth screaming the name of my goddess and never once would I have begged for mercy or repented. A part of me sees the wisdom in letting your tormentors hear what they want so you can live in peace and secretly carry on with your personal beliefs. But a larger part of me believes it is wrong to live a lie and it is that part of me which would be galled to say there are no witches.

Witches are everywhere. Witches working for quiet change. Witches healing the earth. Witches growing herbs. Witches hexing the wicked. Witches blessing babies. I'm the witch who can heal you. I'll take away your pain, make you well, work from within my bones to make you happy, but should you ever betray me, I'll turn your fears into inescapable reality. I will treat you exactly as you have treated me.

I'll give you spells and I'll let you learn your lesson. I don't sugar coat anything. I'll let you get exactly what you wish for. And if you don't learn the first time, I'll let you mire yourself in deep shit until you realize what you're doing isn't working.

I believe is leaving magick for others to find. I believe in luck, but I believe I create it myself. I believe in fate, but I believe in change. It might be my fate to be heartbroken, but that won't stop me from falling in love. And after my heart breaks, does life stop? No, it goes on and so do I. Fate said my heart must break, I say it must heal.

I believe perfection is the art of doing ordinary things very well. I cook, I clean, I sew, I garden- all with magickal intent. I believe if you come to my house, you would figure out my witchy ways by the way I serve the food, arrange the furniture, by the way I walk, talk, and think. You would see witch in the poetry I read and write, in the clothes I wear, in the plants growing around my home. You would see witchy in not just the company I keep, but in the people I attract. I have a power and it draws both the light and the dark. I am not surprised by this; I am prepared.

If you loved me, you would know I am witch by the spell I cast to bind your heart to mine. Only a witch can give all just to turn around and let you go. I don't hold back, I give all of myself, but if you want to be free I'll let you go. I enchant, I never enslave. I tie you up by being open. I start at the top and work my way down. When I walk away, you'll want to follow because after you go witch, you'll never switch.

I'm for kindness, for tenderness, for gentleness. I am fiercely protective, boldly daring, and a little too much. I'll scare you with my intensity. I'll do anything for the one I love, but my independence will drive you away. I won't ask for anything but I'll give whatever you ask. Only a witch can be duel opposition harmonizing in one cord. Fire and ice, earth and sky. All the powers of land and sea are obedient unto me.

I see what is and what will be and I choose according to me. Usually I will go for the impossible because I think it's better to try and fail than to never take a chance. But often I do whatever is simplest because I, like magick, tend to follow the path of least resistance.

I'm the witch who opens the door when it should stay locked. That's what I am for.