Saturday, March 26, 2011

Where/s the Dragon Hiding?

I have been denied unemployment benefits repeatedly. I've been denied for reasons that had nothing to do with getting fired, and been denied for quitting (which I didn't). I had a telephone hearing and my rejection letter included a statement FROM ME that was the exact opposite of what I said under oath. I am astounded that my testimony was falsified. While I was debating how to handle it, I got ANOTHER rejection letter stating I wouldn't receive benefits because I had gotten vacation pay in excess of the benefits I am eligible for. Short of getting a lawyer, I don't think I can fight the state.

Since the company would be the one paying the benefits, I don't see why the state cares one way or another. So I called the payroll manager, and she offered to call the state and tell them to give me benefits because the company is willing to pay. Then I didn't hear anything else from her. This is the same person who offered to help me find a job. I haven't heard a word about that either. I want to trust her, but I feel like she's just saying whatever to keep me from being mad and taking action against the company.

Kevin still wants me to sue the company for wrongful termination. After battling the state, I feel like a lawsuit would go pretty much the same way- a bunch of knuckleheads in suits not listening to me and looking for stupid shit to stall me. I don't deal well with stupid shit. I can handle accidents, honest mistakes, and miscommunication, but I can't hold my temper with mindless stupidity. It seems like too much of a headache.

In other news, the pollen is still falling. If I don't take a pink and white pill twice a day my eyeballs itch like crazy. I have to be careful with OTC meds now- most have diabetic warnings.

I've cleared out a big garden space. One of my sweet potatoes has roots and is ready to be planted. My brussels sprouts are flowering so soon I'll have seeds to harvest. My snap dragons came back and I have a row of fuchsia flowers guarding the front yard. My mint looks great and I had to repot my aloes.

I've been trying new things with sewing. Some work and some don't. I have learned the importance of writing things down. I liked Ring of Fire so much I decided to make a Ring of Earth. Unfortunately, I forgot how to put the ring together. I ended up with an awful collapsed spiral. I had to rip it out and start over.

While sewing I had an epiphany about scrim. For those who don't remember, scrim is little jumbles of thread and fabric mixed together to make art. I decided to make a nearly zero waste sewing room. I saved every bit of scrap for scrim. I've been stuffing pillows with it and it works very well. I started wondering if I was every going to run out of scrim, and I realized, no, as long as I was sewing, I wouldn't. Then I started wondering if I ever again really needed to buy fabric. I'm not talking about buying fabric because I want it, I mean, if I ever got too poor to make a purchase, could I still sew. And the answer was yes, I could. I can salvage scraps from my clothes, towels, and linens. I can save little tiny bits and resew them into large pieces. I can even weave thread into fabric. I have a never-ending supply of textiles. Suddenly my cauldron of scrim is a cauldron of plenty. This made me think that of the legend of Dagda's Cauldron- perhaps the cauldron was just a symbol representing the whole system of abundant resources. Perhaps it wasn't the cauldron that was magick, but somehow Dagda knew how to use his resources in a way that ensured his people would never know hunger. My scraps have become a whole new element. They aren't waste, they're magick.

So inspired by my scrim, I have been looking for ways to make the whole house into a near zero waste system. Like the kitchen- can more wasted food items go into the compost bin and not the trash? What if I stopped buying paper towels and canned drinks? How much more food can I grow?

Another thing that's been heavy on my mind- am I truly the witch of this place? I've been seeing this issue a lot on other blogs. The witch works in her corner of the world. She knows what's going on right down to every pebble and leaf, then she works her magick to protect it. She often reaches beyond the boundaries of her realm to help others. She is sought out for answers. Am I exercising my power to the fullest? If this neighborhood prospered, would that prosperity extend to the next neighborhood, then to the county, and eventually to the state? Would it continue on throughout the South, then the country, and finally the world?

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