In my last post I talked about my time bender spell and how I was pleased with the results. And I was warned about possible negative effects. I blew it off. Then I pissed off the school.
I have been struggling to get the boys to do their homework. The only thing that seemed to have any effect was me threatening to come to the school and have each boy stand in front of his class to explain why he wrote 3+1=8 Since being embarrassed was such a horrifying ordeal, I wrote on their shirts, "Ask me why I act like a baby"
The school decided I had post-partum depression, I was neglecting the boys, and they called DHR.
The agent who came out to the house talked to the boys at school. She told me over and over that they said they loved me and they were irritating me by not doing homework. One child was really upset because he thought she would take him to foster care and he wanted to stay with his family.
We talked for a long time. She asked me about the boys, when I married my husband, the boys' biological mother...and then she found out one child is not related to my husband, nor do we have custody.
This is unacceptable. A child that is not related, that we have not adopted, that we do not have custody of, cannot live in the house. I explained his mother wouldn't take care of him, she wouldn't agree to go to court, and when we talked to an attorney we discovered it would cost $3,000 just to file. She gave me a pitying look and told me filing was free. We didn't need a lawyer and if we paid anything it would be court costs which was usually around $125
All I could do was stare. Then I grabbed her hand and thanked her over and over.
The rest of the day and the next day were really stressful. We filed the paperwork. We went to various offices for forms, to verify information, to get supporting documents. And yesterday we turned it all in. We go to court in March.
We took copies of the paperwork to DHR. The agent told my husband not to be angry with me. She didn't think I wrote on their shirts out of spite. She believes I just wanted to solve an ongoing problem and I was probably feeling desperate because I had tried everything else. (Which is exactly how I felt) She said it was obvious the boys love me and they wouldn't if I didn't treat them with love.
The boys have been astonishingly good. The embarrassment worked though admittedly I shouldn't have done it. The homework problems are gone.
My inlaws are finally helping me when I ask. They are being very supportive. They are astounded at how easy it is to apply for custody. For years this has been a weight hanging over them and they thought there wasn't anything to be done.
Other good things have happened too. I finally got the boys in counseling with an office that accepts both our insurance and my stepson's Medicaid. So now they will finally get the help they need and since it will be on a set schedule for as long as they need it, I don't have to worry about paying out of pocket and running out of money.
My husband went to the social security office and told them he no longer wanted to be in charge of his ex-wife's disability checks. He hadn't had any control of the money anyway because right after she started getting checks she stole the card and never gave it back. Social Security suspended her disability until she names a new guardian and then they cancelled her Medicaid. She always claimed she had my stepson with her, but the last time it had to be renewed, I renewed his Medicaid under my name because she wouldn't keep the information up to date. I can't add him to my insurance so without Medicaid I can't take him to the doctor. So she's lost all benefits until she admits where she lives, who lives with her, and what she does with her money. Because of her drug addictions, and because she goes in and out of rehab, she may loose her disability all together.
The ex wife doesn't yet know that we have filed for custody. She hasn't been served for court yet. We have been advised not to inform her of anything but to let the court deal with her. We are expecting a great deal of trouble when she does find out. However, erratic behavior on her part could work in our case's favor.
Stay tuned. And if you do a spell like mine please be aware that things could happen which you never even imagined.