Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Service Sucks

Or maybe it's this computer, or maybe it's both. Getting online takes at least five tries. Generally the computer freezes up. Sometimes pages won't load. It's to the point that I'm questioning why I'm paying for internet I can't use.

My desk finally made the move so I know longer have to sit on the floor. Yay. We also got a couch. Yay. And some plants are now gracing the porch. Yay. I still have bookcases to move. Boo.

I'd like to show you the house, and write about magick, but with the internet utterly disinterested in my wishes it could be a while.

For the most part, things are better. We are settling into routines. Our health is better because we are no longer staying in a house that dumps our weight in dust upon us each night. We are all more comfortable with our new air conditioning.

Some problems still persist. My stepson has never been any way but the way he is so despite going to counseling he still lies, still steals, and still tears things up. It will be a very long time before he is well, if ever, and in the meanwhile I feel like I am the only one trying to solve the problem. All the adults in the family have discussed the matter at length and we all come to the same conclusion- abandonment. Does this mean anyone is doing anything any different? No. My in-laws left town yesterday. I called them to say before they left they needed to say goodbye to the boys and promise some activity upon return. But we've already left. Well, you just turn around and come back here. They did reluctantly. Then blamed the boys' mother for the fact that they have issues. Well, you taking off without caring enough to say good bye isn't helpful. You could at least be polite enough to tell us how long you will be gone.

It's much easier to beat the child for stealing than to try to figure out WHY he did it. Questioning him is difficult because he acts like a spoiled baby and gives very circular answers. I won't relent; I keep pushing until the truth comes out. That's not to say I'm any good at this. I loose my temper because I know he knows better. My husband is much more inclined the spank, send the boy to bed, and walk away. When I try to point out that we need a different approach, Will starts pointing out all my mistakes. I'm trying to do this without assigning blame. But my husband has the mindset of when people point out problems they are going to make it all his fault so he immediately goes into defense mode and tries to shift the focus onto someone else. The problem with being the third wife is having to pay for the mistakes for your predecessors.

Magick is mainly just reading the cards, trying to see patterns before things shift uncomfortably. I do a lot of building spells, you know, the ones where you work for the same cause over and over in hopes that eventually the harmony outweighs the negative emotions. The sleep and dream magicks that allow me to rest so I can function better or give me the answers in the night when my mind is so weary I have forgotten the question. Every time I snip thread I say I snip away troubles. There's nothing to do except keep going.

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