Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Storm Pass On By

I am still working on my Storm At Sea quilt. Will came home, looked at the dry, dusty ground, and asked what happened to the storm. He was watching the weather at work. Apparently Salem was right at the edge of a squall line. I heard thunder several times, but not one drop of rain fell.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Storm Brewing

Recently, I went into the Front Room in search of one particular piece of fabric. It was not where I thought it was. I searched through many, many, many boxes without any luck. Finally, out of desperation, I started opening ALL the boxes. That's when I realized I have too many unfinished projects. What does this say about me? That I quit when things are too hard? That I can't commit? Do I lack discipline or just time-management skills?

I have an unfinished project box. I have this large box because when I moved back to Salem every thing, both done and not done, had to go with me. I thought I was being smart. Now I see I need a different method because some of these were unfinished the LAST time I moved.

What you see in the picture is my 'Storm at Sea' quilt. I saw this quilt years ago and immediately fell in love because this quilt is magic. When the colors are carefully placed the quilt appears curved. The block is composed of all straight lines. You can see the curve in the gray areas of the block. This isn't even sewn together. That is powerful magic.

Now I'm going to tell you how lazy I am. As soon as I started this quilt- after I had selected my fabrics, considered color placement, and started the actual sewing, the weather got bad. It got so bad, Hurricane Katrina happened.

Okay, how many years ago was that?

Sometimes I pull out my bits of Storm at Sea. Then it rains. I believe the last time I was working on it lightning struck the fence post outside my sewing room window.

I'm not sure why I put it away. When I got it all out I couldn't see any major problems. I'm not sure if ordinary life got in the way or if my sewing machine decided to act up. (All sewing machines are moody beasts that need your complete devotion in order to function properly. One dirty looks is all it takes for the beast chew up a full spool of bobbin thread. Being a total brat, you will not know what the machine did until a critical moment of sewing, like say the night before your project is due. If you're really tired and hungry there will be at least two other problems.)

I'm actually looking forward to working on Storm at Sea. I am still in love with my quilt. I think I will keep it. That's exciting. I sew all the time but I rarely make anything for myself unless it is a necessity. Something just for pretty seems wickedly indulgent.

It hasn't rained yet. It has been oppressively hot. I am thinking about solar flares. I consider all the different kinds of storms as I wonder what's going to hit this time. I love storms.

When I get it all pieced I'm going to host a hurricane party quilting bee.


Friday, July 25, 2014

Stop the Production!

Middle Sister is on a mission. Several of them, actually. All of which take the woe-is-me slant.

Middle Sister moved to Kentucky. Scott is in prison in Montgomery. Everything happened here. Most of the paperwork is here. The new lawyer is in Kentucky (not sure how that's going to work with Alabama courts). Scott's doctor is in Columbus, GA. His medical records play a vital role in the trial.

Middle Sister has been hinting around to Will that she needs paperwork. She insists she needs records from the Columbus doctor. She has dropped hints, whined, groaned, and complained about it for a week. Finally, on Wednesday, she asked Will to ask me to go to Columbus and pick up the file.

Will, getting really annoyed, tells Middle Sister to ask me herself. Then the truth comes out- I can't go. I'm not on the list of approved people. There's a huge privacy issue. Only the lawyer, Middle Sister, or someone Scott consents to having access AND that person filled out the proper forms with both the lawyer and the doctor's office, can pick up the file.

Middle Sister has to turn in the file today. It has to be picked up in person. Or so she says. Will can't go, he's at work. There isn't enough time to get me on the list. She can't get off work and drive down here.

All she had to do was ask when she first learned of the issue. There would have been plenty of time for her to either a.) take time off, b.) add me to the list, or c.) make the damn lawyer do his job.

But waiting until the last second gives us all the hand-wringing and when shit goes wrong Middle Sister has someone to blame. She can say she tried but Will wouldn't help. She can lament how she's under such a hardship with her husband in prison and nobody is on her side, everybody's against her, blah, blah, blah.

The process to free Scott hasn't even started yet and I'm already sick of the mess.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Magick Notebook

In my effort to keep a daily practice going, I've started a notebook with a list of magickal goals and works. Each day I write down what I did. The next day, I write whether or not I had success, or if I changed anything. When I am done with an item, I check it off. Unchecked items are ongoing works. If I decide I don't need the spell, I draw a line through all the words. Being a former teacher, I don't mind writing things over and over. It actually gives a fairly good map of events. If something is always near the end of my list then it obviously isn't a high priority.

I know you're just dying to see what kind of spell work a Witch does each day. Here's my current list:
1. Mindlight. 3 today.
               This is the same Mindlight as in Silver RavenWolf's book. I realize a lot of Pagans don't like her. She is often described as too white light or too commercialized. I started reading her books in the late 90's, about the time she got popular. There wasn't much information available then. Wicca was growing, but it wasn't accepted. What I liked about Silver is how much information she gave with spells, she listed herbs, moon phases, stones, time of day, astrology, Goddesses, colors, and often times she listed variations, substitutions, and quicker ways to get things done. I didn't have any questions when reading her books.
               I've tried Mindlights in the past. I've had enough success to try them again, but they are not my favorite form of magick. In my experience, they need to be very well formed from the beginning. Vague intentions don't work. They take time to form and I don't consider them quick spells. I realize they are simple, just balls of energy, but when you are in a negative situation that wears you down daily it is hard to rise above circumstance and keep an eye on the goal. I find Mindlights work best when no negative energy is attached.
2. Dragon trigger!
              I needed something to remind me to do magick as soon as I awoke. I asked a dragon for help and I nearly got a spell in mind as soon as my eyes opened. Dragons are AWESOME!
3. Empowering water for coffee.
              Not sure about this one because I didn't think about it right away and I wasn't sure what quality my water needed. It's a good idea to empower the water for healing or health or energy but I don't think mine 'took' this morning.
4. Talked to Will about arch.
              This falls under land/house/yard work. I want to put an arch near the path to the woods. I mentioned this to Will and we had the same idea. Of course, he was thinking art and I was thinking portal but hey, we are in agreement about needing an arch. This won't be checked off for a while because we have to clear some weeds, settle on a design, build it, and THEN I can add magick.
5. Calendar- blessed my day.
             We have a large calendar in the hallway where I keep up with and manage our lives. As I drew a slash through yesterday's box, I decided I really needed today to go smoothly so I worked a spell for harmony and focus. This was nothing more than a mental affirmation. Spells can be worked into every detail of life. No one has to know what you're doing.

That's what I've done since I've been awake. I still have some issues to address like a family problem (couple of them actually), I have some books to look through, I'm on the hunt for a new rocking chair, I need to add a little magick to a cross stitch sampler, and I've got to get my mind set about an issue before I can take any action. These are the things I'll work on as I go through my day. I've kept a notebook like this before. Eventually, the notebook becomes magick like WishCraft. It's just like it sounds, you Wish for things until they happen. I've found just writing can cause things to happen quickly. Manifestation begins to happen with little effort. I think this is because as I write my subconscious sees the notebook as the key to getting things done so when I start jotting notes, my subconscious aligns with the Universe. Because of this, I don't write anything down unless I really want it to happen.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Tuesday Ranting

Sometimes, nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either. I find it helps to get the list out of my system.

1. It's raining. A lot. It has been raining all weekend and will rain through Wednesday. This comes at the time I started figuring out what to do with the yard.

2. My brother-in-law may be getting out of prison. Somehow, his case is going before the Supreme Court. They will either expunge everything, thus he is free to file a lawsuit against the county for unlawful imprisonment, OR he will get a retrial, thus the whole drama gets played out again. Middle sister is already wound up looking for records. She is unable to focus on anything else. I wasn't around for the first trial, but I see where it took a toll on everybody in the family. And then, last night, the most bizarre observation came to me- where are Scott's clothes? I found things that belonged to Middle sister and to the kids. I found books, toys, games, knick-knacks, and furniture. But other than the tools he stole from Will, I did not find a single thing that belonged to Scott. Was Middle Sister already planning to kick him out? Had he already taken his belongings from the house? Did she start throwing things away during the trial because she was hurt and angry? Does that mean Middle Sister suspects her husband is guilty? There's a lot of questions and I can't riddle any of them out.

3. My kitchen is a mess. Every day I clean. About the time I make real progress, it is time to start cooking again.

4. All I want to do is go back to bed. The puppies kept me up all night. They cried several times. Loudly. When I went to check on them, nothing was wrong and they shut up as soon as they saw me. I can't go back to bed because two little boys are testing the limits. During one of the times I got up, after midnight, I caught one playing with a flashlight. I will be so glad when school starts because there is nothing as nice as the kids-on-the-bus nap.

5. I want to sew. I am not sure I have the brain power to manage it today.

6. Today is probably a good day to do magick. Due to my mood, it may not be safe for people if I begin casting. I think I could easily take a simple plant growth spell and twist it into a mighty hedge, a barrier of entwining banishment. The more I think about this, the better it sounds.

Monday, July 21, 2014

It's Settled

I'm going to be a dragon for Halloween. A purple dragon. Will is going to be a Viking.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Where's the Salt?

Since ritually sealing off the space where the door used to be, I have had strange dreams. I think the spirits are annoyed with me for closing their door. Yesterday, the boys were building traps to catch 'what is outside at night'. They have never mentioned anything like that before, so I may need to cleanse the whole house.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The X-Mas Present Cubby Project

Years ago, my brother-in-law decided to use the space above the closet as a place to store presents. This was both a good and bad idea. Good because it was an out of the way space to store things you didn't want people having access to. Bad because the space is way out of the way and thus impossible to place anything in it. He never made a door for it. He covered the opening with foam board and painter's tape. So the ugly hole loomed above the bedroom for years.
I took the foam board down, threw it away, and pulled off the tape, managing to pull a good chunk of painted wall with it. This space was dusty as hell with large chunks of plaster everywhere. And it contained one never been played with plastic, purple, toy guitar. As my niece and nephew are in their teens, I must assume after the hole was made, and the first present placed inside, Scott lost interest and forgot all about this.

I decided the space should be used. I make present all year. They were getting dusty under my dresser. The dresser was a fine place to put presents for out of town family, but where would I hide things for the family living in this house?
It was after I climbed up with the vacuum cleaner that I discovered the bag was so full no dust could be sucked up. We don't have any more bags.
I decided cleanliness was overrated and I wrapped things that didn't need to get dusty in thick brown paper. Then I wrote the names on the paper because I know when everything is wrapped up I won't remember which goes to who.
Long way down. I had to move my desk so I could get close enough to the cubby to put things in without killing myself.
It's a big ladder. There used to be a door over here. Sometimes I wake up and see people walking by my bed. I sealed the wall with magick so nothing can walk through. This is a common problem in houses where remodeling has been done to seal off original doors or windows. If I had thought about it, I would have sealed the space when we moved in. But as I never saw the door that was here, I tend to forget this area had a doorway.
Last, but not least, I used something pretty to hide the hole. This will do until Will makes a door. Before I covered the hole, our ac window unit struggled to cool the room. I realize this is just a thin piece of cotton cloth and not a proper closure, but it DOES make a difference in keeping cool air from drifting into the attic.
And look, it barely draws attention to the half painted ceiling.

Monday, July 14, 2014

House Magick

Let's see some of the magick around my house-
When I was pregnant this was going to be a mobile for my baby. It changed quite a bit after the miscarriage and it took me a long time to finish because first I didn't see any point to it, and then I ran out of beads. Now it's just art. It's a bike wheel, a saw blade, chain, glass beads, charms, prisms, and keys. Art is always magick.
Kitchen altar and spice rack. I looked online for inspiration when setting up my spice rack. I really liked the drink crates, but I liked the peg boards too. I decided to do both. I never did get a basket for the peg board to hold the items too large for the crate. Maybe one day. I intend to buy the spices in the small jars from now on. I have the spices in alphabetical order. No one understands my system and I am constantly putting them back in the proper spaces.
Close up of my altar with herbs from the garden and a spell in progress. At some point, I'd like to put dried eucalyptus leaves in the vase. I'd also like to get an aloe plant.
Stars at the sink.
Moon on the curtain.
I have Halloween decorations out year round.
I have a few angels. I don't see angels as being a Christian only symbol.
Angels are found on every continent, in nearly every culture. For as long as people have been writing, there are angels mentioned. I think of angels as guides to higher powers.
Dragons are also found on every continent and in nearly every culture.
Dragons can be guides, teachers, co-magicians, or guardians. They can be concerned with this realm, other realms, high magick or low.
I love dragons.
I have them everywhere. At my local store, there is a dragon above the cash register. Recently, he started winking at me.
Horses and magick books. It's Wicca 101, but still useful enough for me to apply it to my work. And there's another dragon at the bottom of the bookcase.
My dishes and rolling pins. Will is turning my old altar into a cabinet and then it may or may not be a place where I do magick. I haven't decided yet. I'm thinking it might be a place to store spells in progress, long-term spell work, or spell bottles. Or maybe it will just house my rolling pins.
Magick on the fridge. The bottom circle is a long-term work. I want to heal the land in Salem. When I say I have a garden, I mean a little container garden. Every time I plant something in the ground it dies. I'm hoping to heal my yard, then my in-laws' adjoining property, and finally, hopefully, the community itself. I realize this is a lot of work and will take years to complete, if I ever get done. I could be working on this for the rest of life. But I feel it must be done and in the future when I show you pictures of my yard, you'll understand why.
My garden on the porch.
We found this skull near the fire pit. We know it is a dog skull, but we cannot figure out what dog died. It is not the right size to be one of Will's old pets and as far as we know, none of the neighbor's dogs went missing.
One of my two coyotes guarding the door. My coyotes have never failed me. I love them dearly.
One of my wolf prayer flags.
Lantern to help lead family members home.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Forward and Back

I've made great progress on clearing three generations of clutter from my house.
This is the front room that had floor to ceiling junk. We cleared it all out and turned it into a bedroom for my 17 year old stepson. Then he moved out. Then we decided we really needed to get my belongings out of storage. So I have been piling things in here until I figure out what to do with them. This is one of those one-step-forward-two-steps-back sort of things. I'm trying to get rid of more than I save because eventually we will move into a smaller house.
This picture was taken from the end of the hallway. I'm standing in the doorway. There was lots and lots of junk here. Yesterday we threw it all away. Finally, I was able to open the door. Will told me it was the first time the door had been opened in 10 years. Being able to open the door made the house dramatically cooler. Now we actually have a cross breeze blowing though the way the house was designed.
After a trip to the dumpster, we began organizing Will's tools. This desk was in the storage unit. I didn't need it anymore, but Will loves it and well, it is being used now as a very pretty toolbox.
I am still working on various sewing projects for the house. I made one sheer curtain for the bedroom. That's as far as I got. I have to make another sheer and two heavy curtains.
We have too many dogs. The latest litter of puppies like to sleep by the door to the living room because cool air conditioned air blows under the door. This means we have to shove little pups out of the way before closing the door as not to crush little feet, tails, and noses.
My pantry. This is the most poorly designed space in the house. My idiot brother-in-law didn't like the big walk-in pantry so he tore it down. Then instead of thinking about what would be useful, he assigned the pantry to left-over space by the air conditioner. Then he did the dumbest wiring job I've ever seen. He ran the wire for the blower across the doorway. Nobody can walk in here, they have to lean in. There are no shelves. I am using wall studs and a flimsy video case as storage. Every time I lean in here, I mentally design a proper kitchen with a pantry that could actually be used to store food. Then I'm glad Scott's in jail so he can't fuck up anything else in the house.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Stop Now

These are garnet rings. They belonged to my diabetic aunt. Ever since she died, my other aunt has been saying she wanted to give them to me because garnet is my birthstone. I am the only one in the family (besides my long dead grandfather whom I'm named after) with a January birthday.
At the funeral home on Sunday, my aunt was supposed to give me the rings. My cousin told me she put the rings in her mother's purse. She begged me to wait. It was a long wait. My uncle knew lots of people. He was very involved in his community. He was in the Army and the National Guard, he was a professional sports trainer, an accountant, a coach, and he taught Sunday school. Everybody knew him. Everybody wanted to speak to my aunt, and Goddess help, she stood there and spoke to each and every person who came to the funeral home.

My mother's oldest sister has never had anything to do with me. I think the last time I saw her was when my grandfather died. She wouldn't even acknowledge my presence then.

While I was waiting for my poor aunt to catch a break, I got up twice to look for people I knew. Will stayed in the chapel. Both times, Snooty Aunt stared at me until I was close enough to speak, then snapped her head around so fast I thought her neck would break. She put every ounce of being into ignoring me.

I pointed her out to Will. "That's the one who won't have anything to do with me." Things dragged on. Finally my cousin just grabbed her mother, leading her away from the long, long line of people while frantically waving me over. We converged at the casket only to find out my aunt forgot her purse.

Not a problem, I told them. I would be attending the funeral Monday, the rings could wait. They've kept for 6 months. Every thing is chaotic right now. Don't worry about it.

Snooty Aunt chose that moment rush over. She made a HUGE production. She hugged me, told me she loved me, that she prayed for me, and she thought about me often. She started asking me questions so fast I couldn't answer anything- how I was, where I lived, if I was happy, what my hobbies were.

Hearing the last question, and hoping to save me, my cousin butted in to say I made quilts. That set Snooty off again. She started telling me how all the women in my family sew, her aunts from Texas used to quilt, and I am such an intricate part of the family because I am obviously just like everyone else.

My cousin and I were giving each other confused looks. We didn't know what to do. I began scanning the room for Will hoping he would rescue me. He was sitting at the back of the chapel laughing. Having a good laugh, too. I'm surprised tears weren't rolling down his cheeks.

As Snooty yakked on about sewing, she picked my hands and remarked I had small fingers. Which was great because she had rings to give me.

She has it in her head that it was all her idea to give me the rings. As soon as she saw them, she thought of me. I'm the only one with a January birthday. Garnets are my stone, right?

By now, we are all irritated. People are wanting to pay respects to my aunt and they can't because Snooty is in the way. My cousin and aunt are annoyed because they had to argue their case for giving the rings to me. I am embarrassed to be a public sideshow. I finally just say I will see everyone the next day. I have to go home. And I dart out, dragging a still chortling Will behind me.

The first thing I did when I got home was open a beer. Then I realized I might not have anything to wear to the funeral, so I start trying on dresses. I am looking for something appropriate for summer heat but not too short for a funeral. Every time a dress isn't suitable, I chug down beer.

My cousin calls to say her mother wants to give me the ring NOW so Snooty can't make another dramatic performance. They want to meet me at the store. They are on the way. In my rush to get ready, I put my shirt on backwards. I do not notice this until I am standing in front of my aunt, reeking of beer.

But I got my rings.