Snow, Eventually

Tuesday, everyone on Facebook had posted pictures of snowy yards. Some people had a winter wonderland and some had white mush clinging to the car.

I had rain. Cold, misting rain. Then I had sleet. Then I had a yard full of ice. And finally, late in the evening, I got snow.

I got roughly three inches. I still have snow covering most of the ground.

Tuesday, Will was sent home early because of the weather. His truck slid on I-85 as he drove beneath an underpass. The road under the bridge was completely iced over. He was unharmed, just a bit unnerved. We didn't go anywhere Wednesday because the snow was supposed to melt, but temperatures were dropping below freezing, so we assumed ice would be everywhere. We stayed inside playing with my dogs, reading, cooking, and doing jigsaw puzzles.

Will's work opened later in the morning today to give ice time to melt. I'm waiting until this afternoon to go to the store.

Before my Northern readers start making fun of Southerners and snow, we are not equipped to deal with it. We don't have snow chains for our tires. We don't have road crews salting the highway and if they do put out salt they never have enough because officials here don't realize how much salt it takes. Sometimes they try to put out sand because they think it works just as well. Sand might provide a little more traction but it doesn't melt a damn thing. Most of the houses here are all electric. When the power goes out people have no heat because fireplaces are considered a luxury. If there is a fireplace the home owner will be lucky to have enough wood. Most people don't want to chop wood, they probably don't have enough trees on their property anyway and that just leaves buying wood which is horribly expensive.

We never lost power here, and I have gas heat. I am always filled with wonder when I see snow, but I am also really glad to see it melt so life gets back to normal.

This Time There IS Something In the Air

Snow is in tomorrow's forecast.

It is warm and raining right now, but don't let that fool you. We've had snow in March after a warm weekend and rain.

Snow is now predicted at least once a year in Alabama. This is a definite climate change. I remember snow twice from my childhood. (Every single year on my birthday I wished for snow so I wouldn't have to go to school. Only got my wish once.) Starting in my mid-20's, snowing began appearing on a somewhat-regular basis each January. Of course, for most of my life I lived through the 20-year drought. If there's not enough moisture to make rain, there sure isn't enough to make snow.

But now I know there will be snow at least once. And it could be we came out of the drought not for natural reasons, but for global climate change. Some people think the climate changes all by itself. It might do that very thing, but we don't need to help it along by dumping chemicals everywhere.

I think it's part of the job of being a Witch to understand her land base. I think, if nothing else, a Witch should observe her environment. If she can't make it better, she can at least not do harm. It takes a long time to heal land. It takes years of community clean-ups, careful voting, and trying to balance the needs of the land versus the needs of the people. The land needs clean water and trees. We need that, but we also need jobs and industry. Factories are notorious for cutting down every tree in sight.

I don't have any answers for you. I can't tell you how to improve your personal patch of Earth because every land is different. I can't even decide if tourism is a good thing; yes, it brings in money but sadly, more people consume more resources HOWEVER most Americans only experience nature in state parks. Maybe if we had more nature around us we wouldn't feel the need to drive hundreds of miles to go camping.

But I can tell you that when it snows, you should enjoy it.

The Luxury of Working

I just turned down a job because 1.) it only paid $8.50 an hour and 2.) the only days I would work were Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday.

I'm annoyed for several reasons. I said I needed full-time. Don't offer me a part-time job. I said I wanted to start at $9.50 an hour. Don't offer me a dollar less. This is an office job. I said I preferred factory jobs and the only way I'd take an office job was if it was a really sweet deal.

If I took that part-time job, it wouldn't pay my bills. At best it would cover the gas to drive back and forth. Sort of like working for free.

I hate job hunting.

Something's In the Air

I fixed my wind chimes.

Will's children broke them with a football. I needed strong glue to put them back as they were. While I was waiting for glue, I started poking around the big house and I found part of a wind chime very similar to mine. So instead of trying to glue, I combined the two.

And that has worked very well. I added some beads and hung them up. Then I empowered them so that the Winds of Change brought positive influences into my life. Each time I walk across my porch, they're merrily clanging away.

It feels like spring. I know we are still in the depth of winter. I know there will be more frost, more freezing, and harsh cold days. But right now the sun is warming.

I am starting to feel like my skin is too tight. I want to move and grow. I just rearranged all the living room furniture. I moved bookcases. I pushed and scrubbed and cleaned. I want to throw open windows and doors. I want to feel the power of my element, earth. I want to feel the power of growing things. I want to climb rocks and trees. I want to feel the pulse of the earth under the bare soles of my feet.

It may be early yet, but this spring will birth itself quickly in a burst.

Time Gap

Yesterday, I had a job interview at 1pm. I woke up at 1:45

I don't have any memories of what I did during the morning. I obviously got up and took care of my dogs. I got several texts and I tried to answer but I typed gibberish. Fortunately, I never managed to send it. I also had some calls from a number I don't know. I don't know who I was talking to.

I don't know what caused me to pass out. I don't know what caused me to wake up. At some point, I must have ate something, otherwise, I don't think I would have awakened, but there were no candy wrappers laying around and no extra dirty dishes.

This is the whole argument against diabetics living alone.

I think the cause of it was stress- emotional stress of the miscarriage, and then my aunt died this week. I've been dealing with family members I'd rather not look at, let alone talk to. Any time I'm under stress, my sugar does crazy things.

Will is rather freaked out by the whole event and he has been checking on me often.

I have to beg for another interview. And then life will go on.

Loss

I am very sad to say I had a miscarriage. We are going to try again, but if I do get pregnant, I probably won't say anything until I am much farther along. I wish I hadn't posted about my pregnancy, but it was my first and I was very excited and happy.

The Day After My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 37! I had a good day. I finished three sewing projects. Finishing is the main theme right now. I'm moving in a few months, I've changed direction (slightly) with what I make, and I have a baby on the way so I am wanting to make new things, but I don't want a bunch of half finished projects laying around. Some things I am re-purposing or altering the design of so that they suit my current needs. I felt really inspired yesterday. I hope that feeling continues on. There is the possibility that I will be sharing a sewing space with my mother-in-law and I really don't want her to see my mess!

I tried really hard to just enjoy the day. I didn't go anywhere or do anything special, but I didn't worry about anything either.

I got several well-wishes on my facebook page. Of all those messages wishing me happy birthday, only ONE was from a family member. The rest were from classmates, co-workers, friends, and a few folks I only know online. My mother had told me on Monday that she might be too busy to call me on my birthday. And she didn't. I didn't realize until yesterday how dysfunctional my family is. It was the only black spot on the day. It makes me want to put distance between me and my family and that is a very sad state of affairs when I am expecting my first child. And just to give you some perspective, of all my friends on facebook, over half are family members. So that means all my friends EXCEPT my family, acknowledged my birthday. And this is why I spend the day at home.

No, Really- Tell Me How to Live My Life. I'm So Very Interested

If you've ever been stuck, then you know the first thing to come your way is advice- lots and lots of well-intentioned (or harshly critical) advice, most of which has little bearing on your personal situation.

For a while now, I've been thinking of selling again. I've sold my crafts on and off for years. It is a very bumpy road, even if you make really awesome stuff that people want to buy. I have never made enough money off of sewing to support myself. I always need a full-time regular job to pay the bills. Crafting, at best, gives me a little extra money. I can buy more books or I can go out to eat more often. I get a little extra gas money or I can buy more groceries. Mostly, I buy more craft supplies, make more shit, and still don't come out ahead.

I've been trying to figure out a way to make more money without struggling quite as much. It would be nice if I sold my wares as soon as I created them, or if I could command a higher price. It would be nice if I got regular orders. It would be nice if I had the support of a larger shop or a company that would pay me to design on a regular basis. And it would be really, really nice if I had time to make more stuff.

Ordinary life gets in the way a lot. I mean, a lot. It's hard to be crafty when you work overtime, when you can't afford the materials you need, and when you're stressing about which bill is more important to pay- power or water?

I'll go slow this time. At least that's what I tell myself. I'll just make a few things here and there, no stress. Doing this because I like it. Nope, no stress. It's a fine fantasy until you realize no one wants to buy your ONE thing. People want to see a collection. They want to see baby quilts, throws, queen-sized quilts, and pillows. They want cross-stitched wall hangings (framed, of course), key chains, bags, and pillows. They want a scarf to match the purse that goes with the dress, and hey, why don't you have this in a larger size?

Usually, no matter what I'm selling, no matter how pretty it is, no matter how long I worked on it, I will have that unsold item in my possession for at least three months. I will cart it to flea markets and trunk shows, show it to a dozen local shops, list it online...and it continues to linger with me. People will admire it, like it, reblog it, everything but buy it.

I'll make other things, bigger things, smaller things, finer things, more useful things, raise my price, lower my price, offer a trade, try a new venue, relist it, and suddenly, something I didn't think was all that great will sell. Of course, I still have a closet full of stuff.

All the while I struggle to make a little cash, people will tell me what's wrong. "Why aren't you crocheting?" "Red is the new black." "Etsy." "Artfire." "Your own online store." "Quilted bags." "Clothes." "Sew on patches for soldiers." And then there's the bottom line advice, "Just get a real job and give your work away as gifts."

Thanks, that's so very useless. I'm looking for the venue that accepts me and my work. I don't want to re-invent myself or my sewing, and I sure don't want to give away what costs nearly all of my spare time. Most people don't know how many hours of the day I sew. When I explain it to them, they usually have something dumb to say like, "You can buy these at Wal-Mart." Sure, and it was made by people in third-world countries earning slave-wages.

This year I am going to large outdoor festival. I have until October to get ready. I'm going to have new things to sell. I'm going to have a few old standbys that always go fairly quick. I'm going with people who have done this before, so I won't be alone. And I'm going to be pretend to be a non-English speaking deaf-mute so customers can't ask me to turn a red quilt into a blue one.