Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The End of an Age

A few months ago I mentioned I couldn't find something. It was not where I thought it would be and the search led me through my project box. I'm not sure how long I've had the project box. I do remember it was an attempt at organizing unfinished things. The problem was, after I put things in the box I never did anything else with them.

Yesterday was a rough day. The boys lied to me all. day. long. All day. Almost as soon as their eyes opened. That kind of all day. When the problem has been occurring for so long it is practically perpetual motion.

It was also a rough day because I went back to the doctor and they can't tell me if I'm pregnant yet or not. We had to figure out options for either way. I am amazed that they couldn't tell. It's modern medical science, how can you NOT know if I've conceived?!

I was really bummed about the world in general. Normally when I feel this way I go do something Witchy. I cleaned my kitchen altar. In the midst of cleaning, I decided I wanted to do something radically different. But I didn't know what. I thought about changing decorations. My kitchen gets really greasy so I was at a lost about what I could use. I thought about painting the shelf, but I don't have any paint, and I thought about making a garland or adding a string of beads, but now I'm back to the greasiness.

Stumped, I decided I should plan my new kitchen but that didn't work either because that's a future project, not a right now change. And I don't know what I want but I am quite certain I want it now.

I gave up on the kitchen. I started cleaning my sewing room. We got a wood burning stove. I decided to cut off the flaps on the project box so we'd have fire starter. The project box is a big cardboard box filled with smaller card board boxes. I got everything out. Some of the projects I threw away because I know they won't work. I suddenly realized I had several Christmas presents in front of me. It's too late for this year, but I can finish them by next Christmas. That lightened the load considerably. Then there was just a handful I didn't know what to do with, so I cleaned out my stepson's old dresser and now the unfinished projects are out of sight. And there's plenty of fuel for the stove.

The room feels much better. I vowed I would never again have a project box. My horoscope says I should focus on my future and let go of anything holding me back. I like this idea. I have set up a sewing schedule. I don't have deadlines, just allotted times during the day when I will be doing work I enjoy.

1 comment:

Jeanne said...

A Blessed Yule to you and yours! And also Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! ♥