Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Changing the Game

I always make changes during this time of the year. I try really hard to downsize. This year I am making a personal change. It's not really a change, not in a major, life-altering way. I just reordered my daily activities.

I really love to sew. Sewing goes beyond practical use for me. I think of it as functional, as expression, as magick, and as art. But here lately the big problem is having time.

I usually wake up not feeling well from a low sugar. I am confused and easily irritated. This doesn't matter because I am the only responsible adult in the house. Despite feeling like crap on toast, I still have to get two children ready for school. I still have several dogs waiting not patiently to be fed and walked. The house is giving me the stink eye because chores need to be done. My hair is one huge tangled ball. As soon as children are on the bus and dogs are in the pen with full bellies and empty bladders, I go to the Internet, using the excuse that until my sugar comes up it is expectable to browse. I check my email, I read comments, I add to my Pinterest boards. Then suddenly the day is over and the bus is bringing my boys home.

I decided the Internet is best left until after lunch. I'm trying to spend at least one hour sewing in the morning. Usually I get a good bit more time in. I feel encouraged working on projects. Before, I felt stalled and overwhelmed.

I also made some changes to my Facebook. I got married October 3rd. Since then, my husband's first wife has posted numerous comments to every. single. thing. my sister-in-law posts. I didn't think Middle Sister even liked her and I don't know why they are friends on Facebook. At first, I thought it was odd the ex-wife was doing it, then it got to be annoying. Middle Sister posts at least four times a day. Random funny pictures turned into a chance for the ex-wife to gush about how much she misses her 'sister' she was so close to.

I don't know why Middle Sister is going along with it. I don't know if she thinks this is the best way to win over her nephew or if she's loving the attention or if she likes the drama. Or maybe she enjoys playing head games with the ex. I think the ex is insecure. I think she wants to butt in. I think she's pathetic. And all those lying, ego-stroking comments were starting to piss me off. So I unfollowed my sister-in-law. Now I don't see anything she posts. I don't have to see the first wife trying to horn in on things that have nothing to do with her. And I didn't have to deal with the hurt feelings of unfriending anyone.

The unfollowing worked so well that I applied it to Baby Sister. Pleased, I unfollowed another person. Facebook has become so much more pleasant.

Now I get up, get children off to school, take care of dogs, and sew. When I reach the end of a row or I run out of thread, I go do a household chore. This is working very well because if anything happens like an unexpected errand or my mother-in-law needing a ride to town, I get something done and I don't feel like I wasted my time. When I do finally sit in front of the computer, I'm tired and ready for a distraction. Annoyance doesn't start my day.

You might be wondering why I don't give up the Internet completely. I do enjoy it. The Internet is the way I find new sewing projects and patterns. I keep up with current events via the 'Net. I find my inspiration online. I even use it for magick as the Internet allows you to be in multiple places at once without leaving your physical location. It is definitely between the worlds.

Oh yeah, I started braiding my hair before bed. No more tangled snarls.


Aine O'Brien said...

You know, for some reason, this situation with your husband's ex and the sister in law is not uncommon. In fact, I have experienced this same thing, and I've seen this happen to others too. I think it's a reaction to divorce/breakup, sort of like the other stuff that goes on involving money/possessions/children,etc. It's a play for control,a bit of hanging on and a weird sort of competition. I think you did the right thing by not feeding it, even with your attention. Who knows why they do these things but In the words of Jim Morrison "People are strange."

FreeDragon said...

I thought maybe I was imagining things until I realized the flurry of commenting started the weekend after I got married. And really, I don't know why she feels this way because I am the THIRD wife. I would like to know if she pulled something similar during the second marriage and how long she kept at it. I mentioned the commenting to my husband. He had noticed it too and he agrees with me. He is not sure how long his first wife and his sister have been facebook friends because Middle Sister really didn't like her at first. I think it's juvenile. They've been divorced for YEARS and she has remarried since then.

Anonymous said...

My husband's former wife likes to make little comments on my FB at times. Mind you, we've been married for nearly 31 years. She didn't last long enough to earn the gold pen. :)