Sunday, March 31, 2013

Friday, March 29, 2013

We're In the Money

Kurt started his new high paying job Thursday. Since then, money is all over the place. He hasn't got paid yet, but I have and I got a little extra on this check. I also got a sewing job. I was talking to a co-worker about my sewing and he had some good ideas I had never really thought about. Gas prices came down (just a bit), all our bills are paid, and slowly but surely I am building the savings account. And last, but not least, this morning I found a gold dollar coin by my front steps. I hope everybody is prospering like me.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

In Case You Think I'm Dying

I'm not. I'm just a diabetic. All diabetics go crazy from time to time. I'm sure that's one of the warnings listed on my insulin. It probably says, She'll drag you down too.

Good things, I promise, really good things, are happening here.

First, I have been drawing. Sort of. I've been designing cross stitch patterns which requires a very precise kind of drawing on graph paper. I am aware that now days cross stitch is designed with computer software. And I do intend to purchase some of that software because I am really enjoying myself and I think this could be a nice sideline of work. The reason why I am drawing everything slowly, oh my goddess ever so slowly, with colored pencils and graph paper is because that is what I used to do when I was a little girl. My father worked construction all his life. He brought home huge sheets of graph paper, some left over from from a drafting project, and I spent a WEEK filling up one sheet. My mother gave me a pad of graph paper from the grocery store and thus inadvertently learned what would keep me quiet all day. She gave me markers, pens, colored pencils, and crayons then left me in my room. I used to be really good at graph paper designs- anything set before me I could translate to neat little squares. I'm trying to remember how I did it. I think the most important thing was to just start coloring. I'm working on a dragon now and he looks so good on paper that I can't wait to see him in threads.

The second good thing is Kurt's job is starting to suck. I'm sure you're wondering why that's good. Two weeks ago he was offered another job making a lot of money. He turned it down, then worried that he had done the wrong thing. I said he need to stay where he was, he just got insurance for fuck sakes, who knows what the other job would be like or how long it would last. Even I had doubts, because, ya know, that was a lot of money. Then there was talk of lay offs, his boss suddenly writes him up for minor things, and just when we thought he made a mistake by turning the job down...they called back. He has an interview Wednesday. He will be making enough so that I don't have to work. I can stay home if I want. I have decided to keep working because I want to build up the savings account. I'd like to own a house and I need a good bit of money for that. But because there is the possibility that I could stay home, work is suddenly a lot easier to deal with and I no longer feel stress about it. Nor do I need to worry about my sugar levels making me psycho. I can just take a day and if they fire me, so what? I didn't need my job anyway. Isn't it great not to be trapped by a job?!

The other good things are all small details- irises are blooming, spring has clearly arrived. My eyeballs itch like hell, but I'm so happy I don't mind. My plants are growing. Kurt finally got a truck of his own. Now my car seat and radio stations stay put. He went out of town for a couple of days and the time apart did us good. I started a huge blog project which you'll see the end result of in October. Yes, it's that big. I am already planning for Halloween...and November (Kitchen Witchery) and December (yay! craft projects!). You'll love it, I promise.


Monday, March 25, 2013

I Don't Know Where I Was, But It Wasn't Here

Saturday morning I was dreaming. Or I thought I was, because everything had a shifting, surreal quality about where ordinary objects become looming and shinning.

I dreamed about cans of diet coke, insulin pens, waffles, Kurt's brown eyes, phones, thorns, the covers on my bed, drums, birds, and more diet coke. Finally, I was more or less awake. Kurt told me it was 1:15pm

WHAT?

I had the alarm set for 10am. He told me I turned if off. And then we had sex. And he made me breakfast in bed, which I ate, but I had trouble opening a can of diet coke.

All I could do was stare. I was not aware of any of it. How could I be unaware of what I was doing for over three hours?

Three hours of low sugar. And he didn't notice anything was wrong with me.

He said I was a little 'out of it' but I could talk and answer questions. Kurt thought I was just sleepy.

Then I had ANOTHER surge of panic when he said he gave me my insulin pen, but I wouldn't take a shot. Are you sure? Are you really, really sure I didn't take insulin? Because if I already took it and I take it again I will die.

We searched my body for needle marks and found no recent ones. We checked my sugar which was about right for the two waffles I didn't remember eating. I studied the pen carefully and discovered the level hadn't moved since the day before.

All weekend, I've wondered how much of my life runs on auto pilot. How much do I really dream? Kurt swears I never got out of bed, but what if I do sometimes? Where would I go? Could I drive? Does every one assume I'm on drugs or, like Kurt, does no one notice when I am on the verge of death?

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Witchy Housekeeping

Some of these things are magick- and some are just useful.

1. If you don't know what your home is for, it will never be a happy place. My home is my safe place to rest. I love my house and often I can't bear to leave it. Your home might be where you raise children, where you love, where you find peace, or it might be your heritage. All houses have an energy and homes are the blend of the house's energy, the community's energy, and that of the occupants. If you don't decide the best possible use for your home then there is no amount of decorating that will make it welcoming.

2. You have to clean up. Every day. There is no once and done formula. You have to wash dishes, do laundry, sweep, and dust. I don't care if you hate housework. If you don't clean up after yourself the house will slowly fall apart around you.

3. I clean my house by zones. That means each day I clean one room very well. Zone 1 is the bedroom and I clean it on Monday. This is when I change the sheets. I may also wash the windows or clean out the closet. I do not clean the whole room from top to bottom every week. I do what is needed. This coming Monday I will wipe off the ceiling fan blades because soon we will need the fan. In the fall, I'll add heavier quilts to the bed.

4. The easiest way to clean a ceiling fan is with a pillow case. Slide the pillow case over the blade. Pull snug and clean both sides in one swipe without getting dust bunnies every where. Toss pillowcase into washing machine. If you don't dust the fan blades then the dust will hinder the fan in cooling the air. If you are worried about dust staying in your pillowcase, use a dirty t-shirt.

5. Hang herbs over the shower head. The scent is wonderful and makes for a quick spell, just match herb to intent. Some good choices are roses, mint, and lavender. I like to place herbs in a mesh bag to keep leaves from going down the drain. This also allows me to use small batches of herbs or dried herbs. Please research your plants before showering with them; food herbs and spices are generally safe but rub a small bit on your arm to test for allergies first. DON'T use store bought pot-pourri. It is often dyed and the dye will run.

6. Every full moon, I clean every mirror in the house. Most of my mirrors are for magickal use, such as the small mirrors hanging on my doors to keep negative energy from entering. I also hang bells on doorknobs because the sound helps to break up stagnant energy.

7. Saturday I smudge the whole house. I use incense. If I am having a problem or if someone has been sick, I'd work banishing magick. Saturday is ruled by Saturn, the planet of limits.

8. I clean with vinegar. I mop with vinegar and hot water. If I had a flea problem (sigh, 3 dogs) I'll add lemon juice. Lemon juice kills fleas. Lavender repels flies, cedar repels moths, and mice hate peppermint.

9. Salt will kill fleas. Sprinkle on the floor, lay it more thickly around the walls, let it sit 24 hours, then vacuum up. This only kills the fleas, not the eggs. You'll have to repeat every week for at least a month.

10. The best way to avoid bugs is not to attract them in the first place. Empty the trash on a regular basis. Wash the dishes every day. Do not let food sit out in the open. Keep the windows and doors closed and repair screens.

11. Flip the mattress when the moon is waning so that the mattress stays flat and gets even ware. When you're flipping, vacuum both sides.

12. Working by the clock- when the clock is going down, from the top of the hour to the 30 minute mark, work spells to decrease. When the clock is going up, from the 30 minute mark to the top of the hour, work for increase. Handy if you have an emergency and can't wait several days for a moon phase. If you are wishing for something and a clock chimes the hour while you wish, your wish will come true.

13. Don't cook or make crafts when angry. Your anger goes into what you are making.

14. You can't clean clutter. If an item isn't useful or well loved or used often get rid of it.

15. A collection is on display. A horde is the mess stuffed in boxes with no coherent theme. It's okay to have collections as long as you don't have too many of them. All the items in the collection should have meaning. Don't add an item just because it matches.

16. Make repairs as soon as needed. Putting off small leaks leads to costly repairs later. This is also why you need to really and truly deeply clean the whole house at least twice a year- to know what is broken out of sight.

17. Reporpusing is great- IF you're going to use the item immediately. Saving things because it might still be useful is called hording and it is ugly, not thrifty.

18. All members of the household should contribute to the maintaining of the house in some way. No one person should be the maid, the accountant, the cook, and the lawn guy. Everybody chips in. Everybody should at least clean up after themselves.

19. Finally, your house should reflect you. Your tastes, your needs, your wants. Don't follow fashion or trends, follow your heart.


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Not Silent Sunday

Let's go around Casa de Dragon, shall we?
Kurt clearing the 8 point garden while Halona wishes he would throw the ball instead.
Current reading material. I see a magick of Celtic Knots post in the future.
Protection spell. Raw crystal on window sill.
Current viewing pleasure.
I decided my gourds should go into my wash pot cauldron. The one on the right wasn't dried out enough so it is still hanging in the store room.
Going along with the if-you-grew-it-yourself-it's-powerful-magick theme, I also added this jar of mint.
Just put up the humming bird feeder. Some tips- if you are uncertain how much the feeder holds, fill the feeder with plain water, pour that into a measuring pitcher, then add sugar. Spray the hook and string with cooking spray to keep the ants away. Cooking spray kills ants and won't harm the birds.
I decorated for Pagan Sex Day Easter two weeks ago.
I have an Easter basket on the back porch.
Horse shoe for luck. And a wreath hanging from the eaves.
Wind chime charged to bring change into my life. I got it at the Dollar store. Stop judging me.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Randomness



My sugar is still screwed up. It didn't go above 100 yesterday, so I stayed out of work. I thought if I laid around and snacked on cookies I'd have high sugars today. Nope. Woke with a sugar of 54 and I'm eating chocolate candy and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

The 8 Point Garden has begun. Kurt cleared the ground for me yesterday. I lay in the sun making suggestions while he did all the work.

I have books coming. I don't read near as much as I used to and I fear my lack of reading is making me dumber.

My plants arrived yesterday- mint, stevia, lavender, and foxglove. Ah, Spring!

I am still sewing like I always do- a few stitches here and there with small bursts of progress ending (eventually) with a completed work which no one understands.

I've gotten hooked on Scandal. From the first episode. God bless Netflix.

The pilot light in the heater went out. Kurt cleaned the heater. The flame now glows the most beautiful shade of electric blue. As soon as it is warm, go clean your heater so it will be ready in the fall and you won't have to think about it.

The house is fairly clean. I was reading one of those Mommy blogs about organizing the home and she said sometimes you just have to let go and let the house be dirty.

I made Kurt cook dinner. It was so good, I think I'll make him do it more often.

The land is talking to me. Muttering, whispering, sighing as it wakes up. I'm noticing the birds most of all and they are too busy to talk.

I'm going back to bed. I'm cold.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

It Was a Moonless Night When the Black Hog Came

In the summer of 1983, corn was planted in the back garden. It was the beginning of the Drought, the one that lasted over two decades and my father, the man who can make flowers grow on a bare brick wall, was struggling with the corn. The ground was hard. The corn was wilting. Every day, my father watered, prayed, and swore. The corn grew pitifully. So Dad was raging mad when he discovered the corn laying in ruin.

He let into my mother about it, saying she 'wasted time watching soap operas all day' instead of paying attention to the crop like a good farm wife. She didn't know what he was talking about. She probably gave no more thought to the corn than to the moon.

Furious, Dad studied the ground, looking for signs of what he was dealing with. Corn stalks lay everywhere. The ground was torn up. And there were deep, smallish tracks.

Wild hog. Evidently, a large one. It would be bad if the wife, or worse, small child, encountered a feral animal with razor sharp tusks in the backyard.

The hog came at night. Dad worked all day. He couldn't sit up all night waiting. He needed something to alert him to four-legged invaders. So he rigged up a trip wire. He placed a large light in the bedroom window. He ran wire out to the corn. Using a battery, some old car parts, a board, and whatever magic/science old farmers know, he arranged for the light to come on when the board was knocked over.

For two nights nothing happened. Then suddenly one night the bedroom was flooded with a blinding light.

Hog!

Dad rushed outside with his rifle and a flashlight. And at the edge of the woods, the beam of the flashlight landed on an eye. Balancing the barrel of the gun on top of the flashlight, he guessed where the hog's body would be and fired. There was a grunt, some rustling brush, and then nothing.

He was sure he missed. It was 50 yards. In the dark. At a target he could not even see.

The next day, Dad searched the woods. Nothing.

And then the buzzards came. Dad didn't miss after all. He just searched in the wrong direction.
What I remember are the bugs. The gnats, the flies, the beetles crawling. And the smell. The smell was awful in the hot woods.
Mom and me with the hog.
Dad and me. Our photos are fading badly.
But the tusks are still sharp.




Monday, March 11, 2013

The Wild Hog Post Is Coming

Sunday, while at my parents' house, I took pictures of the hog tusks. My father killed a wild hog when I was a little girl. I don't think I was old enough to go to school, or if I was, I had just started. I also took pictures of the original pictures from 1980-whatever. Those pictures are faded and turning ugly shades of red. You may not be able to see what's what. I won't know until I actually write the post. They looked alright on my phone, so maybe it will work. The pictures I took of the tusks turned out great and of course, I'll have the awesome story.

I hate Day Light Saving Time. It does nothing but screw up my sugar levels. I cannot think of a single reason to do it, nor can I think of any other country on the face of this earth that does it. Why are we getting up earlier? Why? WHY? To enjoy the sunlight? Please, how many people actually go outside and do anything? That's why there's so many fat Americans- we're glued to the tv. And honestly, the first year Day Light Saving was officially in effect it was so unpopular the whole country stopped doing it. Then Congress decided to force everyone into it anyway, so please, don't vote for morons in the next election. They have screwed up my sugar quite enough, thank you.

Speaking of morons, my father told me a school district is requiring all teachers to carry guns. I haven't researched this, so I can't say which school or where, but I will say it is a very bad idea and it makes much more sense to do away with the firearms and to limit who can access them. Arming all makes everybody prone to violence. I used to be a teacher- children and guns do not mix. They are not any safer with a gun in the classroom or with an armed cop on campus. I suspect one day there will be no more public schools. Classrooms will be virtual and lessons will be given via the Internet. Colleges already offer online classes. It will just be a matter of time before K through 12 follows suit. Teachers won't have to worry about behavior issues. Schools won't need to pay for electricity, water, food, desks, and books. Learning will become more structured to individuals, and students will learn at their own pace. Parents will know their children are 'safe.' Parents will probably have to become more involved with their children's education, but I think that would be a great thing. I know a lot of people who have no clue who their kids' teachers are, what classes they take, what grades they earn, or even how long the kids get for lunch. Which, btw, is often 20 minutes. Far too short if you ask me.

Amazon is getting on my nerves because when I search for books they only show me what they think I should read. Amazon, I would like to know what all you've got, not just what you think I should see. In order to see the entire selection, I have to search without logging in. But when I find something I want, I have to log in to add it to my wish list and suddenly I only get 'recommendations.' I. Want. To. See. ALL. The. Fucking. Cookbooks. Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!

The Amazon thing is about control. Other people want to control me as well and that's not working out. I can't help how I feel and as far as I know, no one can make me change my feelings. It would be much nicer if I could be accepted as I am instead of how someone wants me to be.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sunday- Totem

I'm doing something a bit different for Silent Sunday- here's one of my Pinterest boards:

http://pinterest.com/fabricafree/totem/

Monday, March 4, 2013

The Wash Pot Cauldron is in the House

Saturday I decided the wash pot cauldron had sat in the store room long enough.
The first thing I had to do was get rid of this box. It's the box of yarn and cross stitch Kurt's mom gave me when we helped her move- in September. Yeah. I had planned to get rid of it from the beginning because it was all things I didn't want, either I didn't like the colors or the cross stitch had a religious theme. But for some reason, the box just didn't go anywhere. The box was falling apart so I repacked it into plastic bags and took every thing to Goodwill.
I had planned to put the wash pot in this corner because that would look great under my staff. But it wouldn't fit. I wouldn't be able to open the front door.
The tv used to be here. For some reason, I never pushed the cords into the floor, I just left them sprawled out. What is up with this corner of my house? Maybe the energy is stuck because we don't really use it.
After pushing the satellite cords through the floor, then mopping, I lugged in the wash pot. Then I discovered the crate was too big to fit inside. Bummer.
I put the cook pot inside the wash pot and all the items that should have gone in the crate will go around the cook pot. The cook pot, a small cauldron, will be where the magick actually happens. And that makes more sense. Now what to do with the crate?
I thought the crate would go great under Mama Kate's side board. I thought if I turned wooden crate one sideways, it'd slide right in. No. Doesn't fit here either. Rats, foiled again.
I had to turn both crates sideways and now I have to move everything to open crate two. While shuffling around my belongings, I decided crate two would be a great potion cabinet. I think crate one needs to relocate. It might me useful for storing Kurt's shoes. He likes to leave his boots in the middle of floor where I can trip over them.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Art Talk

 
Another lovely picture with all sorts of elements and meanings. Let's start with the window- is that an eye, as in the metaphor 'eyes are the window of the soul', OR given its shape, does that represent a vagina? Or is it a Harry Potter knock off? I'm leaning toward vagina. Of course, the scene outside the window is rather barren, so I must assume this is about sex for sake of sex and not sex for procreation. There's an undergarment, but with the owl perched on the dressmaker's dummy, I am led to think this is a lady who knows how to use sex to get what she wants. Clearly, she also knows glamour. Maybe that's why her hair is a grayish color- she's older than she looks. The clock behind her indicates a late time and keys usually mean mastery and secrets. The books on the shelf are in shadow which makes me think more hands on, less reading and thinking. The poster is interesting, not in and of itself, but as in why is it there? Posters tend more towards low art, teens, and fantasy. The placement is odd as well, someone who need to sink down to see it. She's got a tape measure, but no needles, pins, or scissors, so how exactly is she making the purple dress? Has she slipped into the dressmaker's workroom to add her own magic? Because she's definitely got magic in the works. And we assume it's good magic based on the bright colors of the light, but is her intent pure? Her dress is gold at the top and brown at the bottom, an indication of riches topping earthly matters. Does this lady feel money is more important than desire? Did she sleep her way to the top? Is she pretending to be well born but unable to hide her modest beginnings? And what of her rose, large and full but not lush and red? It's brown, like the rose is dead and dried and it is not over her heart where a rose of love would be. So what do you think? What is this lady up to?