Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Most Difficult Job Ever

Will's youngest children were here over the weekend. This morning, when both boys were playing outside and Will was cutting grass, I discovered someone had gotten into my syringes. The protective plastic orange covers lay on the coffee table.

I got Will immediately. I was so upset I couldn't hardly talk about I thought we were about to have a dead little boy. Or two, if they thought it was fun to stick each other with insulin.

As it turns out, the youngest, age 6, got the syringe out, filled it with water, then used it as a water gun to squirt his brother's pillow. He knew that it was wrong, he knows a.) don't touch if it's not yours, and b.) this is medicine, not a toy. He also knows not to play with water in the house and he certainly knows not to mess with his brother's stuff.

Interrogations, a beating, and a time-out ensued. And then I cancelled the afternoon fishing trip. And I was still upset because had I not found the covers, I wouldn't have ever known he got it. He might have gotten more than one needle, I don't know. I don't know if he understands how serious this is. I don't know how much I should be angry. I don't know if it was done out of carelessness or out the allure of getting into something forbidden. I don't know if I should sit down and try to explain diabetes or if I should relocate needles or if the boys can no longer even for a second be unsupervised or all three. I don't know if my emotions are making me over-react or if I am justified in having a screaming fit because an air bubble in the vein will most assuredly kill you.

I finally told Will to take the boys home. I wasn't feeling any better about any of it. I don't want to stay mad all day but I don't want them to think it's no big deal. I don't want to do something fun with them because I don't want them to think this sort of thing gets rewarded. Will has apologized a hundred times and I don't want to be angry at him, but on the other hand, neither of us were watching the kids. We were sleeping in and they were supposed to be watching a movie. I'm angry at myself for not putting up something dangerous and motherfucker, that little brat is supposed to know better.

And I don't know that the situation could have been avoided. If he was bound and determined to have a little 'water gun' then putting syringes under lock and key might have slowed him down but not stopped him. Of course, it's not full paranoia until you've gone through every horrid scenario at least twice so now I'm questioning just how safe are my guns, my knives, my alcohol, and my car keys because I'm sure next the other child will run over somebody with my truck. No doubt he'll be playing with gasoline and firecrackers when he does it.


Anonymous said...

Oh my gods how scary! I've always said no matter how much you love them, other people's children are the best birth control there is. I hope that you and Will are ok after this bump in the road. He didn't get mad about boys having to go home, did he? I think it is definitely important for boys to know it's not a joke. Also gotta find a way to move past and build a positive relationship in the future. That's tough after something like this. You can do it though.

FreeDragon said...

We're ok. He was mortified at his son's behavior (kid tried to lie his way out of it, too) Will gave the spanking, I decided how long time-out should last. When I first told Will to take them home, he thought I was just tired. When I explained that I got angry every time I looked at jr, Will was embarrassed again. But he agreed with me, it was an awful spot to be in. I've decided the kids will not be allowed in the kitchen unsupervised (they tend to make messes and raid the cookies anyway) and each time they come over, the insulin needles will remain in a secure location away from small hands. Will reminded me that his parents are diabetics so the boys DO KNOW what syringes are and they SHOULD understand not to play with needles. As far as how to move forward, I'm stumped. I thought maybe I could take them somewhere like the zoo where it's just me and the boys. I'm sure throughout the day there would be plenty of chances to explain my condition- sugary food, lots of walking. I've always tried to not let them see blood testing or shots because I didn't want to scare them but maybe that was a mistake.