Want My Abs Back

First, I hate taking pictures of myself. I usually take ten or twelve, finding something wrong with all of them and post nothing. After taking this, I realized I should have made the bed, not cocked my hip, not worn a tank top, etc., etc., etc. That is one thing I miss about Kurt not being here- he took pictures all the time and most of them were good, even some of me.

But my purpose in taking the picture is to show you how I look now. I used to have beautiful abs and I want them back. I'm not in bad shape, especially considering I'm a 36 year-old diabetic, but I know I could look better. Besides, there is something extremely satisfying in being very fit when you tell a medical professional you have diabetes. They simply don't believe it. I feel very smug knowing I don't look like I have an incurable illness. Call me vain, but it's all I got.

The problem with having sexy abs is that it takes a lot, I do mean a whole fucking lot, of work. The older I get, the more work it takes. The first time I got abs I was 24. I did Pilates and in less than a month I was stunning. 

The second problem with abs is that you can lose 'em quick. Skip two days of exercise, pig out once, and hey, wait just a damn minute, where'd this flab come from? You'll still have a nice body, but if you achieve perfection you cannot keep it for very long.

My goal is to have a well defined waist. I'm not looking to lose weight. I don't care what size I am. I'm not trying to squeeze into tiny jeans. I want defined muscles on my stomach so I can wear short tops in public and not worry about looking ridiculous. Because let's face it, at some point you are too old to show your belly. I'd like to rock a couple more years before I have to act my age. After I have to grow up, I'll have to settle for surprising men who seduce me. I'd like to be a lovely present that's better than expected when unwrapped.

I've been doing some kind of ab exercise for years. I often skip days because I usually wake up with a low sugar. I like to exercise as soon as I wake up (before my brain catches on to what I'm doing and refuses to sweat) and it is much better to work out your abs when your stomach is empty. Remember, whatever is in your stomach is going to get crunched during crunches. Food will move through your system, either you'll vomit or you'll look for a toilet so please, don't make yourself miserable. Empty stomach, people.

You may find you can't eat as much on an ab exercise routine and for most people that's probably a good thing. I'm not dieting per se as I'm already on a low carb diet for the rest of my damn life. If you want my advice for a diet along with ab exercise, I say lots of fresh fruit and veggies, lean meats, and small portions. Stay away from greasy fast food. Your stomach is going to be sore anyway (if it doesn't hurt you didn't do enough crunches) and you don't want to eat anything that will upset it. When I first started doing Pilates, I ate very little at a time, but I did eat more often throughout the day.

The other reason I haven't stuck with exercise (besides the fact that I hate it) is I feel really self-conscious when being watched. I didn't want to exercise around Kurt because either he asked if that was all I was going to do (asshole), or he interrupted me for sex. You can burn lots of calories during sex, but it doesn't work the core. Since I now live alone, I should be able to work out without criticism.

I'm doing two things different. First, variety is key. Your muscles get used to the same routine and after a while it isn't effective. I'm going to have two routines alternating them each day. The second thing is I will be working out at least twice a day. Many people disagree with this, they say your muscles need time to rest. I say the more exercise you get the better and when I was actually trying to lose weight, working out twice a day was the thing that finally made the pounds fall off. My second routine will be lighter, maybe less reps or I might skip part of it. My plan is to exercise when I get up, and again before bed.

Probably tomorrow I'll post pictures of what exercises I'm doing. I may post pictures of my waist each week so you can see how I'm doing. I'm hoping by sharing my plan with the Internet I'll feel obligated to keep doing it. Wish me luck.