Sunday, June 23, 2013

If He's Well Qualified...

This is the limb that crashed down during the storm that scared my dogs. I started cutting it up yesterday- with a hand saw. Because I'm not a guy and I have a limited amount of tools and just about all of the tools I owned were purchased when I absolutely needed them. My saw is dull now. I just gave up. I have no way to sharpen it.

Besides being a lumberjack, I've also been the yard man. I cut grass and sweated like a nasty hog. I tried to finish the yard today but the string on the starter frayed in two. Then I tried to be a mechanic, but I was lacking the right tools. I don't even know what tool I would need to get the cover off. I thought I needed Allen wrenches, but no, Allen wrenches are hexagon shaped and whatever fits in this particular screw head is perfectly round. I don't even know the name of that kind of screw or bolt or whatever it is. All I know is I can't replace the pull string until I get the cover off. I'm pretty sure there's a guy reading this right now thinking, you dummy. Dude, I just don't know. Tell me the names of this stuff so I can proceed.

I've cut grass, tried to make repairs beyond my intelligence, went grocery shopping, finished a sewing project, determinedly sawed wood, tried to burn wood but it was too green, and somewhere in this weekend I'm supposed to go be a Witch under the full moon. I've decided being a single woman is too hard and I am now taking applications for the position of boyfriend. Please apply in person, preferably ready to work as I will need proof of skills.

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