Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sunday


I decided to forgo being silent. And I wanted something funny. I think I complain too much sometimes.

One sewing machine is on the truck, waiting to vacate my house. I started clearing fabric today. My first intention was to clear one box. When I had a half empty box, I realized the contents of another box would fit perfectly, then that gave me an empty box so I should fix this pile here...and wow, look! An empty shelf! The closet is a long way from being neat. But it's better. I need to wave my wand a few more times.

In January, even if it kills me, I'm going to start doing. Not planning, not thinking, DOING something. Even if I have to start over. Even if I don't get it right the first time. And I have to see a project through, not get frustrated and start something else. There is no more room in my fabric closet for W.I.P.s (work in progress), P.I.G.S. (projects in grocery sacks), or W.O.M.B.A.T.s (waste of money, brains, and time).

I really, really, really want to design. I want to draw. I want to make patterns. I want to figure out how to put things together. I will pick one day, maybe Saturday, and that's Design Day, the day for pencil and paper.

Last night, I looked at my idea folders. I have several computer files of ooh-pretty-how-can-I-make-that! I will make that. I used to be intimidated by projects. I would be so in awe of other people's work, wonder why I didn't think of it myself, and be afraid to even cut the fabric because what if I screw up? Well, whatever, I am now a fabulous textile artist, I can make just about anything, hand me the scissors.

I am still tired, but not as tired as I was before X-mas. I feel like I'm recovering from some mental flu. I've learned a lot about myself and please, Mind, no more. Don't haul out anymore dark, twisted junk. I don't want to see it, I'm letting it go, and let's move on.

One thing I just noticed (here's how dumb I am) is the placement of my altar. I have always wanted an altar in my kitchen, 'cause ya know, Kitchen Witch and all. This has never been practical. The other day I realized...my altar is behind my stove. Yeah, there's a wall between the altar and the stove, but there it is, right behind the stove in the center of the house. All this time, I've been wishing for a fireplace with a mantle, candles and herb jars over a roaring fire with a big sunny kitchen...the altar is in the middle of the house, is the hub and heart of the house, and I am one clueless Witch.

Speaking of my altar, in my living room. Ahem. Kurt's mother (also clueless) finally saw it when she brought Kurt's son yesterday. I forget how many times she's been in this house. After I left to go shopping, she was sitting on the couch, staring at the altar (cauldron on top), looking at the candles, all those books with the word 'witch' in the title, and she whispered to Kurt, "Does she practice witchcraft?"

I can't get my head around that one. I know he TOLD her, how could she forget? I didn't remember any other detail about my son's girlfriend, I'd remember the witch thing. I'm really glad I wasn't home because I would have had to been a smart ass. Maybe she thought I didn't cast, but then, what does she think Witches do? Evidently I am not the only one seeing what I want to see.

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