Long Nights Moon

The Long Nights Moon is a hard one for me to celebrate because it's so cold outside. I don't want to stand under the full moon. I want to stay in my nice warm house. But, sigh, I just don't get the same effect standing by the window. So out I go.

This esbat is perfect for thinking. Think about who you are and who you would like to be. Are those the same? How could you meld those two selves? I am of the mind that it is wrong to reject the self. I believe we are shaped a certain way for a reason. Don't feel bad about who you are. If you are really unhappy with yourself, work on transformation. I used to be angry. Really, really, really pissed-off angry all the time. I don't know why I felt that way, but I decided it was wrong and I was going to stop. I started letting go of my anger. Then I was depressed. My anger was what kept me going. I had to work through depression and it was two years before I felt like I made any headway. Then, I had to allow myself to be happy. I don't think I don't think I would have gotten this far if I had beat myself up for being 'bad' (angry).

After your self-reflection, this is the perfect full moon for love of all kinds. Nurturing what you love, who you love, giving love, and accepting love. It's a good time for generosity, as well as physical love. You know, nothing else to do on a long, cold night.

I like to read at this time of year. There's a few books I like to read over and over. Usually I read The Hobbit in the winter. Since it's too cold to go out, I get a craving for adventure. Of course, I am very grateful I don't have to climb mountains in the snow or ride a river in a barrel. That's the problem with adventure, they're not nearly so much fun to live as to read.

To me, the Long Nights Moon is just what the name implies- time. Lots of time to indulge. I have time to sleep, time to cook, time to read, time to sew. This year I have two weeks off for Christmas. I haven't had two weeks off since I was a student. I am just beside myself with plans and ideas. Those coming two weeks seem long and golden. I think when it's over I'll be transformed. I'm going to work hard to make sure I come out better.