Garden Porn

For an unemployed person, I've certainly been busy.

I weeded my mini roses. Then I moved over to the Brussels sprouts, intending to pull them up. They had babies! I was shocked. So I weeded and watered them.

Today I tackled the irises. I don't think I've weeded the bed since I planted it, ever how many years ago that was. 2009? 2008? I don't remember.

While I was weeding the irises, the mail came. A seed catalog! Oh la la! Garden porn! Ooooh!

I don't care what anyone tells you, gardens are all about sex. Life is literately bursting from the ground, not just from perennials planted, but from creeping vines and invasive weeds. The soil is warm, the bugs are crawling, the worms are wiggling, and little birds are everywhere. Yesterday I raked up pine straw to put around the roses and this morning 20 or so little birds were scratching around where pine straw used to cover their breakfast. They were ecstatically finding heaps of bugs. I made the birds happy. I am such a good garden porn star that I have to do is show up.

My maples are red with thousands of little buds. Any day now I'll hear bees. Don't worry, they'll be too drunk on nectar to sting me.

It is so warm, so sunny, so pleasant...it's my element and I am one happy witch. I keep reminding myself it will get cold again. I know we'll have at least one more good cold front, so I haven't planted anything. I'm clearing, weeding, planning, panting over seed porn...ah! It's hard to be patient. Part of me wants to run out with my seed box right now.

Every year I plan my garden. Every year I draw, measure, think, rethink, buy seeds, buy plants, dig, mulch, water...and run out of time. I'm tired from working, it rains on my only day off, I forgot to water, I can't spend as much time as I need to in the garden. Fruit whithers on the vine, horn worms attack (nasty little fuckers), 1 weed becomes 100, and rabbits open a nightclub in my tomatoes.

But this year I have something I haven't had in years- time. Time to think, time to weed, time to take care of what I've got before I become seduced by seed porn. Yes, I got fired, but it's been wonderful. All my worries are gone because I spend every day connecting with my element. I don't care what happens next. The Earth is telling me I need to be right here.