I am behaving out of character. I am not worried about anything and I have decided to just let things happen. Normally I try to force events into my desired outcome. Not this time. No job? Fine, I'll get one or I won't. Money? Got plenty right now. And let me just go on a mini rant, with rumors of gas sky-rocketing again, I might be better off at home. In 2008 it got to the point where I was wondering if I could afford to go to work. I added up how much I spent in fuel, and realized it would be cheaper for me to stay home at least one day a week. Sure, I'd lose pay, but it just about wasn't worth the drive because I was spending way too much in gas. More than once I coasted in on fumes, thankful that it was payday and I could buy gas as soon as I left work. Gas was an all-consuming thought. Every time I passed a 'cheap' gas station, I topped off my tank because chances were when I needed gas I wouldn't have enough to get me to that particular gas station. My parents are retired. The gas crunch didn't affect my father at all because he rarely leaves the house. He fills his tank about once a month. He didn't even know how much gas went up in 2008. He knew it was high, people everywhere were complaining, but he couldn't tell you the price at the closest station.
In 2008, the Air Witch and I were sure the economy was going to collapse. We were worried there wouldn't be jobs because the factories would close. Money would become worthless because the government would fail. There would be no electricity because the power companies couldn't afford to operate and no one could afford to pay their bill. What would people do? Most people don't cook anymore. They rarely venture into their yards, how would they know how which plants were edible? How would people eat, stay warm, clothe themselves, and stay sane?
These will be the same questions I'll ask myself if gas goes up to $5 a gallon. I never did figure out any of the answers. All I can urge you to do is spend less (or even better, spend nothing), make do with what you've got, save everything (food, money, scraps, etc), and think very carefully before you do anything. Suddenly it seems wise to stay in my little house and keep to myself.
And I don't think the gas companies are raising prices because they have to. I think they WANT to. Before they blamed the hurricanes in the Gulf. Here is the truth- the oil rigs DID NOT SHUT DOWN. I know an engineer who works in the Gulf and she assured me production never stopped. That was just an excuse to raise prices. In fact, she didn't know for a long time that prices were high because she was working on the rig and isolated from the rest of the world. When she finally came ashore she was shocked- nothing had changed on the rig. There was no reason for gas to cost so much. Now it's 3 years later and some greedy fucker is saying, You know, I think we could get away with it again.
We live in a broken world and I don't know how much longer it will wobble around.
While I am wondering about the state of world affairs, Kevin is worried about his resume. Kevin's friend told him the company he works for his hiring. The pay is great, and the benefits are about what Kevin has now. This is all Kevin has thought about this week. He hasn't applied yet and he's already freaking out about not getting the job.
Yesterday I typed up Kevin's resume. I had to print it out at the library because my cheap little printer ran out of ink and I have been debating about buying a better one. Since I'm not a college student anymore, I don't really need a printer. Sure, sometimes it would be nice to have a printer (or scanner) for my sewing projects, but I can live without it.
Last night Kevin realized the dates on his work history were wrong. At 7pm. Too late to go to the library. We had to fix everything, email his resume to a friend, and hopefully he printed it out and brought it to work this morning because the other friend who mentioned the job was supposed to give Kevin's resume to the boss this morning. Confused yet? I wanted Kevin to apply online. I guess that was too simple. Kevin knows the boss at the other company. So if it had been me, I would have applied online then called the guy. But it's Kevin, so he did it the hard way and he's been sitting on the porch at night, smoking and staring into space. He can't sleep, he can't eat, and he keeps asking me, do you think they'll care about me dropping out of school? What if they want me to get my GED? What if I can't pass the test?
Ball O' Nerves.