Or at least, that's how I feel.
Mundane life catches up with me and is sometimes overwhelming.
I've got to up date my shop (sale ended last night, sale prices are still up), I had to buy test strips, go to the grocery store, I've revised my thoughts on saving the planet, and oh yeah, I still haven't gotten to that kitchen garden post.
I'll do it when I get a round to it.
Also, as the holiday ended and I returned to work, I realized how much my job stresses me out. On the way to work yesterday morning my back muscles started to tense, then spasm. My spine is misaligned from a car wreck, but I didn't have pain 1 the whole time I was off.
The Witchcraft of FreeDragon
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Well Damn
I was working on tomorrow's post and instead of saving it, I published it. Aarghhh. I hate computers sometimes. Good thing it was mostly finished.
Now That It's Ready
Yesterday we seasoned cast iron cookware. Today we'll talk about how to use it.
In general, iron is a protective metal. Want your family and loved ones to be safe? Prepare a dish cooked in cast iron. Comfort food works well.
Are you worried about someone's actions? Do you fear they are on the wrong path and need to stop? Again, cook something in cast iron. For this type of spell you need to think of an irate woman bashing her husband in the head with a skillet. Try to use a basic recipe without too many ingredients.
Are you feeling adventurous? Do you long for something new and exciting? Want to travel? Again, cook something in cast iron. Why? Cast iron is often used for campfire cooking. The best dish for creating adventure would be wild game or fish.
Want romance? Cook something spicy in your skillet. Stir the flames of passion while mixing peppers.
Longing for a simple life? Have things gotten too complicated or technical for you? Make biscuits or corn bread. You can't get much more basic and old fashioned than cast iron.
You can dedicate your cookware to deity. Fire god/desses would be a good choice, like Hestia, Vesta, Oya, Brigid, or if your husband does some of the cooking, Mars. If you're more into elementals, fire and earth are obvious choices, or in a Chinese system, fire, earth, and metal. Dragons come to mind, too. But remember fairies don't like iron.
Pots are the modern day cauldron. Stir with a wooden spoon and you've got a handy wand. Stir clockwise to bring things to you and counter-clockwise to push things away. Never cook when you are angry. All your rage goes into the food.
Tomorrow- the kitchen garden.
In general, iron is a protective metal. Want your family and loved ones to be safe? Prepare a dish cooked in cast iron. Comfort food works well.
Are you worried about someone's actions? Do you fear they are on the wrong path and need to stop? Again, cook something in cast iron. For this type of spell you need to think of an irate woman bashing her husband in the head with a skillet. Try to use a basic recipe without too many ingredients.
Are you feeling adventurous? Do you long for something new and exciting? Want to travel? Again, cook something in cast iron. Why? Cast iron is often used for campfire cooking. The best dish for creating adventure would be wild game or fish.
Want romance? Cook something spicy in your skillet. Stir the flames of passion while mixing peppers.
Longing for a simple life? Have things gotten too complicated or technical for you? Make biscuits or corn bread. You can't get much more basic and old fashioned than cast iron.
You can dedicate your cookware to deity. Fire god/desses would be a good choice, like Hestia, Vesta, Oya, Brigid, or if your husband does some of the cooking, Mars. If you're more into elementals, fire and earth are obvious choices, or in a Chinese system, fire, earth, and metal. Dragons come to mind, too. But remember fairies don't like iron.
Pots are the modern day cauldron. Stir with a wooden spoon and you've got a handy wand. Stir clockwise to bring things to you and counter-clockwise to push things away. Never cook when you are angry. All your rage goes into the food.
Tomorrow- the kitchen garden.
Cast Iron
These are the pots and pans I will season today. The only one we use on a regular basis is the large pan on the left. This is what Kevin uses to brown meat when he makes chili. It used to belong to my grandmother. My aunt gave it to me. She called it a chicken fryer. We call it the man skillet. The man skillet is not quite as seasoned as I would like it to be. The others are showing some signs of rust, probably because of the leak this summer. None of my cast iron got wet, but there was a lot of moisture in the cabinets. I want to stop the rust before it gets worse. There is a huge debate about how to store cast iron cookware. My mother keeps hers in the drawer under her stove. I have a gas stove so I don't like that idea. Some people place salt in the pans, but salt is corrosive so I don't like that idea either. I just keep mine in the kitchen cabinet and check for rust ever few months or so.
Some people say to never wash cast iron. Water will not hurt it as long as the iron isn't submerged for a long period of time. I washed all of mine last night with hot water and regular dish washing liquid. The water has to be hot so the iron can dry quickly. Cold water doesn't work.
The pot must be clean before it can be sealed. But it can't be wet. That's why I washed every thing last night. While I was at it, I also cleaned out the cabinet. I swept it out and sprayed a fine mist of water and peppermint oil. Peppermint keeps mice away. I haven't had a mouse problem in this house and I don't want one. I made sure the cabinet was dry before I put anything in it. You can also dab peppermint oil on cotton balls and place a ball in each corner of the cabinet. This doesn't last forever, only about 2 weeks or so. If you have a bug problem try lavender or bay leaves. Once ants enter the house they are inclined to stay. Cooking spray, like Pam, will kill them without harmful chemicals. I've heard ants don't like cinnamon, but I haven't had good luck with that.
Once the pot is clean and dry, preheat your oven to its lowest temperature. For me this is 170. I seal my cast iron with Crisco. YOU ONLY NEED A LITTLE BIT. Rub a SMALL amount inside the pot. The pot should shine. You should not see any white. Rub the Crisco in thoroughly. When the inside is completely covered, wipe it lightly with a paper towel to remove any excess. Too much leaves a sticky pan. I only season the inside. I wouldn't do the outside unless it was badly rusted.
Set your kitchen timer for 15 minutes. Place the pan in the oven on a baking sheet. This is just a precaution, in case you left a glob of Crisco somewhere.
After 15 minutes take the cast iron out and let it cool. Your pots should have a nice shine to them. They should be darker. A well seasoned pot with many years of use is BLACK. I mean the blackest black you can think of it. After the pot has cooled, wipe it with a clean, dry dish towel and put it away. That's it. If you want the blackest black, repeat the process.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Winding Down, Planning Ahead
I just finished cleaning off my desk. It's the end of the year and I am tying up loose ends. I'm tossing old paperwork. I just paid one of my bills and put the rest that are due in my calendar. While I was at it, I made note of full moons and Celtic tree months (something new to try). I've also noted when to read the cards, when to search for Alchemy Projects on Etsy, and I added birthdays. I'm trying to keep it all together because life is a lot easier when I know what's coming.
I've made plans for future posts; one thing I decided to do are weekly sewing projects. Every week I'll either make a quilt block or something with plastic canvas. This will allow me to talk about correspondences and magickal stitching. I'm also thinking to doing a daily goddess thing, but I haven't worked out the details yet. The idea is to put as much magick into daily life as possible. That's what kitchen witches do, every single day we cast spells, weave in magick, communicate with the spirits. We don't wait for special holidays.
It's really getting cold here and is supposed to be even colder tomorrow so I think it's a good time for cast iron cookware magick. If you want to follow along, tonight I am going to scrub all my cast iron cookware so I can season it tomorrow. Even if the pot is rusty it can probably be saved. So scrub your old cast iron in scalding hot water, dry it off, and tomorrow it will be ready to go. All we will need is some Crisco, the oven, and maybe some tinfoil or a flat baking sheet to catch drips. I promise it's really easy.
I've made plans for future posts; one thing I decided to do are weekly sewing projects. Every week I'll either make a quilt block or something with plastic canvas. This will allow me to talk about correspondences and magickal stitching. I'm also thinking to doing a daily goddess thing, but I haven't worked out the details yet. The idea is to put as much magick into daily life as possible. That's what kitchen witches do, every single day we cast spells, weave in magick, communicate with the spirits. We don't wait for special holidays.
It's really getting cold here and is supposed to be even colder tomorrow so I think it's a good time for cast iron cookware magick. If you want to follow along, tonight I am going to scrub all my cast iron cookware so I can season it tomorrow. Even if the pot is rusty it can probably be saved. So scrub your old cast iron in scalding hot water, dry it off, and tomorrow it will be ready to go. All we will need is some Crisco, the oven, and maybe some tinfoil or a flat baking sheet to catch drips. I promise it's really easy.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
And side-step here
Okay, I'm going to give thanks first, then I'm going off on a little side rant.
First, I'm So Thankful I am alive. Yes, I'm diabetic, and I almost died, but I got away from death and shuffled back to the land of the living. Whew!
Second, while life would be easier if I had a larger income, I am one of the few Americans living debt-free. How many people can say that? I have monthly bills and that's it!
Third, well third is everything! I can't list all the good things in my life- Kevin, my family, my dogs, I live in the country, I can create with my own two hands, I'm free to worship my Goddess, wow, the more I try to think of good things, the more I come up with.
I hate Thanksgiving. I hate the over-eating, the overly rich foods, the waste! I hate the drama. I hate the Black Friday sales because I think tomorrow will show the worst side of humanity- lots of lazy, fat Americans pushing and shoving to buy more STUFF. And they'll charge it to credit cards they can't pay off and most of the stuff will either be broken or forgotten in less than six months' time. I used to work at Sears and let me tell you, people cannot behave on Black Friday. That year was the ONLY time I've ever been at the mall the day after Thanksgiving and I can't think of a time when I've been more exhausted, fed-up, and mentally numb. I simply don't understand people who thrive on the thrill of grabbing up the last of this year's hot toy. If you're one of those people I strongly suggest that this year you stay home and play with your children. You'll give them a better memory of the holiday and it won't cost a thing.
But as much as I despise the holidays, I think it is important to be thankful for what you've got. No matter how bad your lot in life, you and you alone, have the power to make it better. It won't happen over night, and it won't be easy, but it can happen. Usually it happens when you take stock. Then you realize that you have the start of something! Got nothing? Then you have nowhere to go but up.
Now we're going to side-step so I can rant about Paranormal State. It's been bugging me. Why does everything on the show have to be about demons and devil worship? Why? They have a pagan on the team, seems like they would know better. And I'm sorry but why is the Wiccan the ugliest chick?
The show that's bothering me is the one about the old prison with the stained glass window in the tower featuring the inverted pentagram. As soon as the cardboard was pulled away to reveal the star, Ryan starts hollering devil worship. As soon as I saw it, I realized the prison was built on sacred geometry. I think whoever built the prison was trying to force the inhabitants to look inward and think about their crimes. Because that's the reason second degree witches wear inverted pentacles- you've mastered the outer forces, now master yourself.
Before I get a dozen comments, I know most of the 'activity' on the show is faked. I'm fine with that because I love a good ghost story! Go head, scare me! But don't annoy me by calling every shadow a demon.
Periodically A&E will run an all afternoon marathon of Paranormal State before broadcasting a new episode. And I will get disgusted after a couple of hours of demon, demon, demon, devil-worshiping/inverted anything. Can't they just tell the story without trying to shove their beliefs down every one's throat?
But it's okay, I don't have to watch Paranormal State. I like Celebrity Ghost Story better anyway.
First, I'm So Thankful I am alive. Yes, I'm diabetic, and I almost died, but I got away from death and shuffled back to the land of the living. Whew!
Second, while life would be easier if I had a larger income, I am one of the few Americans living debt-free. How many people can say that? I have monthly bills and that's it!
Third, well third is everything! I can't list all the good things in my life- Kevin, my family, my dogs, I live in the country, I can create with my own two hands, I'm free to worship my Goddess, wow, the more I try to think of good things, the more I come up with.
I hate Thanksgiving. I hate the over-eating, the overly rich foods, the waste! I hate the drama. I hate the Black Friday sales because I think tomorrow will show the worst side of humanity- lots of lazy, fat Americans pushing and shoving to buy more STUFF. And they'll charge it to credit cards they can't pay off and most of the stuff will either be broken or forgotten in less than six months' time. I used to work at Sears and let me tell you, people cannot behave on Black Friday. That year was the ONLY time I've ever been at the mall the day after Thanksgiving and I can't think of a time when I've been more exhausted, fed-up, and mentally numb. I simply don't understand people who thrive on the thrill of grabbing up the last of this year's hot toy. If you're one of those people I strongly suggest that this year you stay home and play with your children. You'll give them a better memory of the holiday and it won't cost a thing.
But as much as I despise the holidays, I think it is important to be thankful for what you've got. No matter how bad your lot in life, you and you alone, have the power to make it better. It won't happen over night, and it won't be easy, but it can happen. Usually it happens when you take stock. Then you realize that you have the start of something! Got nothing? Then you have nowhere to go but up.
Now we're going to side-step so I can rant about Paranormal State. It's been bugging me. Why does everything on the show have to be about demons and devil worship? Why? They have a pagan on the team, seems like they would know better. And I'm sorry but why is the Wiccan the ugliest chick?
The show that's bothering me is the one about the old prison with the stained glass window in the tower featuring the inverted pentagram. As soon as the cardboard was pulled away to reveal the star, Ryan starts hollering devil worship. As soon as I saw it, I realized the prison was built on sacred geometry. I think whoever built the prison was trying to force the inhabitants to look inward and think about their crimes. Because that's the reason second degree witches wear inverted pentacles- you've mastered the outer forces, now master yourself.
Before I get a dozen comments, I know most of the 'activity' on the show is faked. I'm fine with that because I love a good ghost story! Go head, scare me! But don't annoy me by calling every shadow a demon.
Periodically A&E will run an all afternoon marathon of Paranormal State before broadcasting a new episode. And I will get disgusted after a couple of hours of demon, demon, demon, devil-worshiping/inverted anything. Can't they just tell the story without trying to shove their beliefs down every one's throat?
But it's okay, I don't have to watch Paranormal State. I like Celebrity Ghost Story better anyway.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Still Here
Just a note to let everyone know I am still here. I'm trying to get my shops ready for Black Friday/Cyber Monday. I'm trying to get my day job ready for the holiday, and then there's the holiday itself to prepare for. I hate November. It's raining today. We overslept this morning. Instead of getting up, I turned off the alarm and went right back to sleep. Kevin woke up an hour later. Oops.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
'Round the Yard
Snap dragons
Mums
My other maple tree. I'm not sure what kind it is, I only know it's not a red maple. It might be a silver maple.
Red leaves
And a view of the road.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Still Freakin' Dark
I got home very late- zero day light left. So I took pictures of my dogs.
This is Halona thinking she has such a rough life lying on my bed.
And here's Sophie, also on the bed. Notice how she likes to lay on the pillows.
If I can't get home any earlier, this might end up being a mixed breed lab blog.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Too Dark!
I felt too badly to take pics this morning. When I came home this evening it was practically night. I might of had more day light if it wasn't so cloudy here. Ah well, I'll add 'take pictures' to my to do list.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Another Day, Another Dollar
Okay- I'm about broke, my sugar's dropping, I have to cook supper, and I don't know what all else I have to deal with. I will write a real post later. Right now I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive (yay!) and I'm thinking of doing a photo post since I have a working camera and I'm a little stumped for topics to write about. And it's beautiful here now with the changing leaves.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Random
1. My gypsy road can't take me home, I drive all night just to see the light...
I use song lyrics for post titles (in case some of you haven't realized) and I've been wanting to use 'Gypsey Road' but I couldn't think of a related subject matter. Today I decided to post random things and Hey, I can use that song tumbling around in my head!
2. Kevin is helping a friend move today.
3. My roses are still blooming.
4. I ate beef jerky for breakfast.
5. Still trying to make my etsy shop better. I'm going to have a Black Friday thru Cyber Monday Sale, 1/2 everything.
6. I'm a Capricorn, Kevin is a Gemini, both my parents are water signs, my best friend is an air sign, my office mate is a Leo and I don't think I know another Capricorn.
7. My power bill is due today.
8. I still have some ghosts hanging on my fence. I'm one of those people who HATE to see Christmas lights in January, so this is bugging me. Down the road a ways, my neighbors still have a full graveyard and ghouls on the porch.
9. I really need a good book to read, but lately I have been finding reading difficult as I fall asleep after a few pages.
10. I've decided to eat cake on my birthday. I'm going to enjoy it, so I will be spending the rest of this year deciding just what kind of cake to eat.
I use song lyrics for post titles (in case some of you haven't realized) and I've been wanting to use 'Gypsey Road' but I couldn't think of a related subject matter. Today I decided to post random things and Hey, I can use that song tumbling around in my head!
2. Kevin is helping a friend move today.
3. My roses are still blooming.
4. I ate beef jerky for breakfast.
5. Still trying to make my etsy shop better. I'm going to have a Black Friday thru Cyber Monday Sale, 1/2 everything.
6. I'm a Capricorn, Kevin is a Gemini, both my parents are water signs, my best friend is an air sign, my office mate is a Leo and I don't think I know another Capricorn.
7. My power bill is due today.
8. I still have some ghosts hanging on my fence. I'm one of those people who HATE to see Christmas lights in January, so this is bugging me. Down the road a ways, my neighbors still have a full graveyard and ghouls on the porch.
9. I really need a good book to read, but lately I have been finding reading difficult as I fall asleep after a few pages.
10. I've decided to eat cake on my birthday. I'm going to enjoy it, so I will be spending the rest of this year deciding just what kind of cake to eat.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Bye Bye Birdie
As soon as I sat in front of the window with my camera, the bird flew off. So here's the quilt:
Bird at my Window
last night a friend gave me an antique quilt top. Kevin wants it. I was trying to figure out the pattern. I thought at first it was some kind of star pattern.
Funny thing about quilt blocks- they're shape shifters. Change the color, flip the block, put a couple together and you get a totally different pattern. This morning I realized it's 4 blocks sewn together and not one 1 big block. This is a dove in the window or a darting birds block.
There's a little bird trying to build a nest outside my sewing room window. As I was reading this morning, I kept hearing scratching sounds. There's the little bird at the window. Then he flew around to the other window and scratched around out there.
This afternoon when I have more time I'll try to get a pic of the bird, and the quilt top. I think the Universe is sending me a message.
Funny thing about quilt blocks- they're shape shifters. Change the color, flip the block, put a couple together and you get a totally different pattern. This morning I realized it's 4 blocks sewn together and not one 1 big block. This is a dove in the window or a darting birds block.
There's a little bird trying to build a nest outside my sewing room window. As I was reading this morning, I kept hearing scratching sounds. There's the little bird at the window. Then he flew around to the other window and scratched around out there.
This afternoon when I have more time I'll try to get a pic of the bird, and the quilt top. I think the Universe is sending me a message.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
You Don't Know How It Feels to Be Me
My life is all about striking a balance between the life I want and reality. When I end up more on my side I'm a lot happier.
Reality is getting up early to take insulin, exercise, and probably clean. I go to a stupid job in a company managed by blood-sucking politicians. Or maybe they're vampires disguised as politicians.
I spend the day dealing with stupid people who can't see the forest for the trees, then I come home and struggle to finish whatever I couldn't do in the morning. I long to sew, garden, read, or cast spells, but nope, I run out of time or yawn uncontrollably as soon as I gather my sewing supplies.
In my ideal life, there's a cure for diabetes and I've forgotten how much insulin costs because I've stopped buying it.
I sleep a little past sunrise, then when it's actually light outside, I'd get up and walk my dogs. I'd come home and drink my coffee. I could read my favorite blogs and check out the news. Then Kevin and I would have a nice breakfast.
The rest of the morning, I would design fabric and package items I had sold in my etsy shop. Right before lunch I'd do a few household chores like loading the washer or putting away dishes, then Kevin would come in, we'd eat, then we'd nap. I am all about the afternoon nap! When I was a little girl, half the stores in town closed at noon on Wednesday. Everyone went home and took a nap. It was the chance for store owners to handle personal business during the week. It was a great idea and no one seemed to mind because all the little shops were open on Saturday. People just stayed home on Wednesday afternoon. No one does it now. I see a difference. We've lost our connection to each other. Now we shop at the big chain store open 24/7, we don't know the name of the person ringing up our groceries, the little shops are all closed and everyone is tired and stressed out. Nap, people!
In the afternoons I'd quilt or do needlework. Around 4ish I'd tend my garden. Then I'd cook supper and afterwards I could read or watch tv. When I went to bed I wouldn't get up three times because I'd forgotten something.
I wouldn't work on pagan holidays or my birthday. If I needed/wanted to do magick during my day, I could just light a candle. I wouldn't have to explain what I was doing or why.
The whole reason I want this life is so I can be happy earning a living instead of struggling to get by while other people get rich. I'm not opposed to work. I'll stay busy all day. What bothers me is meaningless work. I do a lot of things in my job that are stupid and inefficient just because the company's always done it that way. It doesn't make sense anymore, but by damn, that's the way we've done it for 10 years so that's the only way to do it. One of the programs on my work computer has a copyright from 1999. We just upgraded to the 07 version of Mircosoft. Who 'upgrades' to a version almost 4 years out of date and feels proud of it?
Slowly I'm creating my new life. I've stopped worrying about what I can't change. I'm saving more. I'm looking for opportunities to be more creative. And one day, I will have everything I want.
Reality is getting up early to take insulin, exercise, and probably clean. I go to a stupid job in a company managed by blood-sucking politicians. Or maybe they're vampires disguised as politicians.
I spend the day dealing with stupid people who can't see the forest for the trees, then I come home and struggle to finish whatever I couldn't do in the morning. I long to sew, garden, read, or cast spells, but nope, I run out of time or yawn uncontrollably as soon as I gather my sewing supplies.
In my ideal life, there's a cure for diabetes and I've forgotten how much insulin costs because I've stopped buying it.
I sleep a little past sunrise, then when it's actually light outside, I'd get up and walk my dogs. I'd come home and drink my coffee. I could read my favorite blogs and check out the news. Then Kevin and I would have a nice breakfast.
The rest of the morning, I would design fabric and package items I had sold in my etsy shop. Right before lunch I'd do a few household chores like loading the washer or putting away dishes, then Kevin would come in, we'd eat, then we'd nap. I am all about the afternoon nap! When I was a little girl, half the stores in town closed at noon on Wednesday. Everyone went home and took a nap. It was the chance for store owners to handle personal business during the week. It was a great idea and no one seemed to mind because all the little shops were open on Saturday. People just stayed home on Wednesday afternoon. No one does it now. I see a difference. We've lost our connection to each other. Now we shop at the big chain store open 24/7, we don't know the name of the person ringing up our groceries, the little shops are all closed and everyone is tired and stressed out. Nap, people!
In the afternoons I'd quilt or do needlework. Around 4ish I'd tend my garden. Then I'd cook supper and afterwards I could read or watch tv. When I went to bed I wouldn't get up three times because I'd forgotten something.
I wouldn't work on pagan holidays or my birthday. If I needed/wanted to do magick during my day, I could just light a candle. I wouldn't have to explain what I was doing or why.
The whole reason I want this life is so I can be happy earning a living instead of struggling to get by while other people get rich. I'm not opposed to work. I'll stay busy all day. What bothers me is meaningless work. I do a lot of things in my job that are stupid and inefficient just because the company's always done it that way. It doesn't make sense anymore, but by damn, that's the way we've done it for 10 years so that's the only way to do it. One of the programs on my work computer has a copyright from 1999. We just upgraded to the 07 version of Mircosoft. Who 'upgrades' to a version almost 4 years out of date and feels proud of it?
Slowly I'm creating my new life. I've stopped worrying about what I can't change. I'm saving more. I'm looking for opportunities to be more creative. And one day, I will have everything I want.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
It's Sunday
...so that means I have a new item in my Etsy shop. I'm trying out a word art thing. This week is words associated with 'pink' and next week's item will be 'red', then 'purple.'
Saturday, November 6, 2010
New Stuff
One of my new year's resolutions was to promote my zazzle shop. I decided to add new shirts every new moon. That's today, so I just added 2 new shirts. I make shirts for mean people. You can get to my zazzle shop by clicking on the link at the bottom of my blog. Even if you don't buy anything, I appreciate comments as it helps to direct traffic my way.
You Can't Kill That Bug?
I like strong, rugged, manly men. When Lord of the Rings came out, I had no use that girly looking elf. I have a problem with a man being prettier than me. I was all over Aragorn with his sweaty, dirty, sword-welding self. Sigh. (heart flutters)
Kevin is very strong with rough hands and scars and stubble. (heart flutters again) And I so did not know he is scared of bugs.
It's finally gotten cold here, so I brought in my outdoor potted plants. Last night, a pray mantis came in too. At supper, it climbed up Kevin's chair. I said, 'Hey, kill that big bug.' I was expecting Kevin to just slap it dead, but instead he stayed as far out of reach as possible and gently pushed it back into my zinnias with the potato chip bag.
I thought it was hysterical and I started picking on him. He told me praying mantises are POISONOUS. I laughed harder. We had an argument which resulted in an Internet search. We learned the whole death-spit thing was a MYTH and they can't really hurt you, so I laughed some more. Kevin is not amused.
Kevin is very strong with rough hands and scars and stubble. (heart flutters again) And I so did not know he is scared of bugs.
It's finally gotten cold here, so I brought in my outdoor potted plants. Last night, a pray mantis came in too. At supper, it climbed up Kevin's chair. I said, 'Hey, kill that big bug.' I was expecting Kevin to just slap it dead, but instead he stayed as far out of reach as possible and gently pushed it back into my zinnias with the potato chip bag.
I thought it was hysterical and I started picking on him. He told me praying mantises are POISONOUS. I laughed harder. We had an argument which resulted in an Internet search. We learned the whole death-spit thing was a MYTH and they can't really hurt you, so I laughed some more. Kevin is not amused.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Still Questioning
I am hard at work on my new year's resolutions and I've already checked a few things off my list. But in some places I seem to be stuck, like my work goals. That page doesn't have any marks. This depresses me.
I might be just a tad over-achieving (Capricorn, after all) so sometimes if things are going quickly I decide I can do much better and I add to my list. This has been the case my with sewing goals.
The house goals are going at what I would call a more regulated pace because most of what I want for the house must be bought so I have to wait until I have money. Can't rush anything there.
The garden goals are also kaput, but it's grey, ugly November so I've forgiven myself.
Part of the problem here is I'm not really a work-in-progress person. I'm a do it now or don't do it at all type. I have to keep reminding myself to read over my lists and see what I can do each day. Some days I don't see how anything can be done and that's depressing. It's strange for me analyze my thoughts; I just realized that I don't linger over things- when I'm done, I'm done. But on the other hand, I don't rush into anything. I like to have all my facts. I need a plan. I will work until I'm done and then I am done. I'm not sure if this is a childhood reaction- my mother will talk a subject to death but rarely take any action. My father makes plans, but he often discouraged by small things. Like my mother's negative comments.
At work today I cleaned out my filing cabinet. I tossed outdated files and manuals. I relabeled folders. I organized it a bit better. Then I cleaned out my big cabinet. None of this was on my work goals list. This makes me wonder if I was just avoiding issues.
Each new year I learn more about myself. With every resolution I make, I feel as if I'm organizing my mind and soul. But I also have a lot of questions and in some ways becoming a better me leaves me feeling a little lost.
I might be just a tad over-achieving (Capricorn, after all) so sometimes if things are going quickly I decide I can do much better and I add to my list. This has been the case my with sewing goals.
The house goals are going at what I would call a more regulated pace because most of what I want for the house must be bought so I have to wait until I have money. Can't rush anything there.
The garden goals are also kaput, but it's grey, ugly November so I've forgiven myself.
Part of the problem here is I'm not really a work-in-progress person. I'm a do it now or don't do it at all type. I have to keep reminding myself to read over my lists and see what I can do each day. Some days I don't see how anything can be done and that's depressing. It's strange for me analyze my thoughts; I just realized that I don't linger over things- when I'm done, I'm done. But on the other hand, I don't rush into anything. I like to have all my facts. I need a plan. I will work until I'm done and then I am done. I'm not sure if this is a childhood reaction- my mother will talk a subject to death but rarely take any action. My father makes plans, but he often discouraged by small things. Like my mother's negative comments.
At work today I cleaned out my filing cabinet. I tossed outdated files and manuals. I relabeled folders. I organized it a bit better. Then I cleaned out my big cabinet. None of this was on my work goals list. This makes me wonder if I was just avoiding issues.
Each new year I learn more about myself. With every resolution I make, I feel as if I'm organizing my mind and soul. But I also have a lot of questions and in some ways becoming a better me leaves me feeling a little lost.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Vote in the Toolshed
I am a registered voter. The problem is, I registered in Lee County and now I live in Tallapoosa County. Also I didn't know WHERE to vote. So I asked my landlord today and he told me to go to the little cinder block building in front of the church that burnt. I kid you not, those were his exact words.
I don't know what that little building is supposed to be. I always thought it was some kind of storage shed. There were 4 poll workers. One man in the corner, one man at the end of the table, and the other two women behind the table. I don't think the women could get up. I think they sat down against the wall and then the table was slid in front of them. Two voters were in the building and I had to stand on the little porch and wait because there wasn't anymore room.
Sometimes I feel like I'm speaking a language no one knows. I came in, said I had never voted in Tallapoosa County, I wasn't on the list, and I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to vote. They asked for my driver's license, which I gladly handed over because I thought I'd get to vote after all. They asked where I lived, how long I'd lived there, and if I was registered.
Then we hit a snag- I'm not on the list.
Well, of course not. I never voted in Tallapoosa County before.
Suddenly the air felt hostile. It ain't comfortable being the odd one out in a tool shed.
One of the women had this attitude like the whole world was wrong and she, by damn, was going to bring the rest of us in line and make us behave. She started talking to me like I was really dumb.
I am not dumb. It annoys me when people think I am. I clearly stated I had never voted here before. She told me I had to go back to Lee County and vote there.
But I live here now.
Finally the man in the corner spoke up and kindly informed me that I'd have to go to the courthouse in Dadeville (which was already closed at that point). They can't make any changes or add me to the list at the poll (tool shed). I thanked him, got my id, backed out onto the porch, stepped around people who were glaring at me for taking up time/space, and drove home.
And I managed to keep my mouth shut because I know it's funny to be kicked out of a tool shed/clubhouse/poll.
I don't know what that little building is supposed to be. I always thought it was some kind of storage shed. There were 4 poll workers. One man in the corner, one man at the end of the table, and the other two women behind the table. I don't think the women could get up. I think they sat down against the wall and then the table was slid in front of them. Two voters were in the building and I had to stand on the little porch and wait because there wasn't anymore room.
Sometimes I feel like I'm speaking a language no one knows. I came in, said I had never voted in Tallapoosa County, I wasn't on the list, and I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to vote. They asked for my driver's license, which I gladly handed over because I thought I'd get to vote after all. They asked where I lived, how long I'd lived there, and if I was registered.
Then we hit a snag- I'm not on the list.
Well, of course not. I never voted in Tallapoosa County before.
Suddenly the air felt hostile. It ain't comfortable being the odd one out in a tool shed.
One of the women had this attitude like the whole world was wrong and she, by damn, was going to bring the rest of us in line and make us behave. She started talking to me like I was really dumb.
I am not dumb. It annoys me when people think I am. I clearly stated I had never voted here before. She told me I had to go back to Lee County and vote there.
But I live here now.
Finally the man in the corner spoke up and kindly informed me that I'd have to go to the courthouse in Dadeville (which was already closed at that point). They can't make any changes or add me to the list at the poll (tool shed). I thanked him, got my id, backed out onto the porch, stepped around people who were glaring at me for taking up time/space, and drove home.
And I managed to keep my mouth shut because I know it's funny to be kicked out of a tool shed/clubhouse/poll.
Monday, November 1, 2010
I Hate November
Of all the months, I think November is the bleakest. It starts to rain, it's cold, the sky is gray. Thanksgiving sucks. I usually end up eating something I don't want just so someone won't get offended. Of course, this is my first Thanksgiving as a diabetic. On the one hand it gives me an armor plated excuse. On the other hand, no lemon pie for me :(
AJ LOVED Thanksgiving. She planned menus a month in advance. I used to help her cook. I washed dished and peeled veggies. She made 2 different kinds of dressing and each guest chose a dessert so we had as many cakes and pies as people. We had turkey and ham, pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie for tradition, plus she always tried out a new dish. The kitchen would be full of food. Every one took home piles of food and AJ would still have a fridge packed. There is no telling how many hundreds of dollars she spent on that holiday alone.
My family usually had two Thanksgiving celebrations because my aunt remarried and she finds it impossible to get all the child present on the same day. Used to, my father's sister-in-law would wait until the last minute to invite my parents over. If we didn't go we were 'uppity' and if we did go my uncle was drunk and my cousins were sullen. I hate Thanksgiving.
November to me is the beginning of the end. It's the end of the year. Finally here in the south it's cold so I think of November as the end of summer. It's almost Christmas, another holiday I can't stand for the sheer mass commericalism, and I spend these last 2 months saying, just get through x-mas and it's over, almost over, be glad when it's over...
Every year I try to make x-mas simple. I vow not to spend more than I can afford. I swear I will make as many gifts as possible. I promise myself I will only buy gifts for a select few. I will have a small tree. I will mail lots of cards and reconnect.
What really happens is someone I hardly know gives me a gift and I feel very badly for not even thinking about that person. I run out of time making gifts and usually feel like I need to buy something. It's cold so it costs more to heat the house, the power bill is up because of all the cool light up decorations, I buy extra food to cook, and I usually forget the insurance is due. I always run out of cards. Of course, cards need stamps. When we go into the woods to get the tree, it always grows three feet as soon as we bring it in the house and then I feel that I need more decorations for it. One strand of lights will not do.
Kevin ALWAYS waits until the last minute to buy gifts and he drags me along. I hate shopping malls. I hate the mass of rude people pushing and shoving for a sale. I feel their emotions bouncing all over the place. I can only shield for so long. Kevin always spends too much because thinks the more presents the better. So it doesn't matter that he's spent a few hundred- he looks at his four or five things and thinks, this isn't enough. Round the store we go again. I come home feeling irritated, highly stressed, and bone weary but wait! We sit up most of the night wrapping. Or I wrap while he stands on the porch smoking because I being a girl am just great at wrapping.
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm thinking about hiding in bed until my birthday. Someone wake me on January 7, 2011
AJ LOVED Thanksgiving. She planned menus a month in advance. I used to help her cook. I washed dished and peeled veggies. She made 2 different kinds of dressing and each guest chose a dessert so we had as many cakes and pies as people. We had turkey and ham, pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie for tradition, plus she always tried out a new dish. The kitchen would be full of food. Every one took home piles of food and AJ would still have a fridge packed. There is no telling how many hundreds of dollars she spent on that holiday alone.
My family usually had two Thanksgiving celebrations because my aunt remarried and she finds it impossible to get all the child present on the same day. Used to, my father's sister-in-law would wait until the last minute to invite my parents over. If we didn't go we were 'uppity' and if we did go my uncle was drunk and my cousins were sullen. I hate Thanksgiving.
November to me is the beginning of the end. It's the end of the year. Finally here in the south it's cold so I think of November as the end of summer. It's almost Christmas, another holiday I can't stand for the sheer mass commericalism, and I spend these last 2 months saying, just get through x-mas and it's over, almost over, be glad when it's over...
Every year I try to make x-mas simple. I vow not to spend more than I can afford. I swear I will make as many gifts as possible. I promise myself I will only buy gifts for a select few. I will have a small tree. I will mail lots of cards and reconnect.
What really happens is someone I hardly know gives me a gift and I feel very badly for not even thinking about that person. I run out of time making gifts and usually feel like I need to buy something. It's cold so it costs more to heat the house, the power bill is up because of all the cool light up decorations, I buy extra food to cook, and I usually forget the insurance is due. I always run out of cards. Of course, cards need stamps. When we go into the woods to get the tree, it always grows three feet as soon as we bring it in the house and then I feel that I need more decorations for it. One strand of lights will not do.
Kevin ALWAYS waits until the last minute to buy gifts and he drags me along. I hate shopping malls. I hate the mass of rude people pushing and shoving for a sale. I feel their emotions bouncing all over the place. I can only shield for so long. Kevin always spends too much because thinks the more presents the better. So it doesn't matter that he's spent a few hundred- he looks at his four or five things and thinks, this isn't enough. Round the store we go again. I come home feeling irritated, highly stressed, and bone weary but wait! We sit up most of the night wrapping. Or I wrap while he stands on the porch smoking because I being a girl am just great at wrapping.
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm thinking about hiding in bed until my birthday. Someone wake me on January 7, 2011
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