Saturday, August 28, 2010

Me Too

I was reading Wide Lawns and she said some people who know her follow her blog and facebook just so they can gossip about her. This is the only reason I do not have a facebook page. Uncle Joe wanted to friend me and I thought about it for over 2 weeks. I took so long that I got a 2nd friend request. On the one hand, it would be great to have regular updates from my out of state family. It would be nice to see pictures of the dozen or so people I love most. But that's my father's side of the family. On the other hand is my mother's family and I love them not at all.

I don't know what's wrong with those people. I feel like we don't share any common traits or DNA. It's like culture shock on the rare occasions I go around them. Their way of life is so different from mine. All the women are oppressed. They lay around the house all day watching tv. They do nothing, say nothing, think nothing. Their self-esteem is nil. And here I am, a graduate from the cow college on the plains with a JOB. Not only that, but I've been with the company for YEARS.

One of my cousins told me she loves to inform anyone who will listen that I graduated from college. I couldn't understand why at first, then I realized it was a small way to shine herself. She has the idea that if I can accomplish something then surely she can. The potential is there.

I disagree with that. I think your potential is in you and you alone. It doesn't matter what your relative does. Bloodlines alone do not make anyone great.

Thankfully, this would also mean coming from a bad family doesn't automatically damn you to hell. What a relief.

I could go on and on about the tacky things they've done. I think the worst was when my cousin's wife asked my mother to leave my uncle's funeral. Yes, you read that correctly. I cannot think of anything more low class. Some people just do not know how to behave.

Then there was the time my aunt and my grandfather stopped paying their phone bill. Since my mother got the phone for her mother, the phone was in Mom's name. The phone company called one night threatening to turn off both my grandparents' phone and ours. My mother was stunned. My grandparents had been paying the bill for 20 years and suddenly, as soon as my grandmother died, they just stopped? Mom paid the bill, but she had the phone turned off. This lead to my aunt spreading a nasty rumor- Mom had the phone turned off for spite.

Then there was my grandmother's tombstone. She was worried that no one would buy a stone for her, so before she died she gave my mother the money to pay for it. All her siblings said she stole the money. Then when my grandfather died they bought a huge double headstone and pushed the stone my mother bought out of the way. The simplest solution would have been to buy a matching headstone for Papa, but oh no, we have to show out, be mean, and make the task your mother set for you a complete waste of money.

I despise these people and they are all on facebook!

I can see now- I join and suddenly everyone in three counties are looking at my pictures, criticizing my hair, saying I look nothing like the rest of the family, wondering why I don't go on and get married like a good girl, wondering if my job is important, saying I don't sew as well as my aunts, wondering why I let my dogs in the house, sneering at my degree and telling people I've done got above my raising...

I just can't do it.

My office mate has a facebook page and she's on it all the time. I've thought about asking her to look up my family but I'm afraid I'll see something that offends me. What if I find a cousin who talks about their horrid, mean ol' aunt in Salem, and boy, is she a bitch, and that daughter of hers...

Can't do that either.

I'm sure one day someone is going to stumble across my blog and then all my secrets will be out. No more will I have a private place to vent, to think, to express myself. I'll be criticized for what I've wrote and what I think. That's why I haven't linked my shop to my blog. I need a place that is all my own without having to explain anything.

I don't think it's anybody's business anyway.


Wide Lawns said...

You pretty much just described my family and what happened to me. In many ways facebook is worth the aggravation. In others, it wasn't. I feel like because I am a more educated and I guess comparatively more successful than some relatives, my husband and I kinda get the evil eye from people who'd love to see us embarrassed. Also, I have the kind of relatives who like you more if you're going through turmoil and drama than if stuff is great.

FreeDragon said...

Yes, that's it, the whole family are my frienemies. If I have no drama they'll stir some up for me. I stay away, mind my business and try not to speak their names, lest they appear.