one step away from being plastic

I got one of those Internet Information Spam Emails, the kind were your coworkers and friends feel the need to relay some information that they think is vastly important, like what you can do with dryer sheets or some such thing.

Usually I find these things amusing and sometimes I'll actually try it out. Most of them are bullshit but the one I read yesterday really made me think.

It was about margarine and how it was originally designed to fatten up turkeys, but alas all the poor birds died after eating it so the people who invested in this project decided to sell it to humans in order to recap their money.

The email was all about how real butter is better for you than the fake stuff and how margarine is only one molecule away from being plastic. The email went on to say that it wouldn't rot because nothing can grow on it. No fungus can make margarine its home.

And sadly I realized that this is true. I have never ever, ever, ever thrown out a tub because the margarine went bad. It doesn't develop a smell, even if you leave it out all night. You know how often I buy it? About once a year. That's how long it takes to empty a small tub and there is absolutely no difference in taste no matter how long it sits in the fridge.

So I have decided that I have quite enough plastic in my life and from now on it's real butter or nothing.

Going Green in the Chemical World

Maybe a year ago I read about household cleaners and discovered that the chemicals in them are harsh and harmful. I decided to go green and switch to natural cleaning methods.

This isn’t as easy as it sounds. First, I had cleaners under the sink that I had bought and it seemed wasteful to just throw them out, so I decided to use them up and not buy anymore.

Next, as I had been buying commercial cleaning products for years, I knew that they did work, so I was concerned that the natural stuff wouldn’t be “strong” enough.

And finally, some of it just sounded silly. Could vinegar really clean it all? Wouldn’t it just stink up the house?

I started small because that’s the best way to make any kind of change. Whenever I washed the dog, I would add lemon juice to the water. Just a tablespoon or so. It works! Lemon juice is a natural flea repellent and it makes her coat shiny, plus it makes her smell better.

And as long as we’re on the subject, I wash my dog with human shampoo. The very same brand I use on my head. It doesn’t hurt me and it doesn’t hurt her.

Since I liked the lemon juice so much, I decided to try it on other things. I found pouring a little down the drain will eleminate smells. Adding some to the mop water makes the house smell better and kills insects. Then I found out I can clean the microwave with it! Pour lemon juice into a coffee cup, place it in the microwave and nuke it for 45 seconds. Dip a clean cloth into the cup and wipe out the microwave. Now this is one that requires a little elbow grease, but it does work.

Next I tried vinegar. I found there is only smell while it is in use. There’s no lingering smell. I mop the floor with vinegar, hot water, and dishwashing liquid. My floors have never looked better. Sometimes I add lemon juice, but it’s not necessary. Actually, vinegar and water works just fine. Plus there’s no rinsing and no residue.

Encouraged, I put vinegar and water in a spray bottle. I use this for counter tops and glass. Vinegar makes a beautiful streak free shine just like that popular blue stuff. This is another one that requires elbow grease (just keep wiping). Vinegar is also great for cleaning up the puppy’s accidents.

Moving on in the green world, one day I ran out of toothpaste and didn’t feel like going to the store. I decided to try brushing my teeth with baking soda, thinking that I can stand it once. To my surprise my teeth felt cleaner. I still haven’t gotten any toothpaste.

I am perfectly aware that chemicals are everywhere in everything and they effect us far more than the big corporations are willing to admit. I know I can't completely free myself from chemicals, but I can, and do, cut back.

Bloody Mary

In honor of Halloween I decided to write about something that scared me. This story is scary because it is true.

When I was a little girl my cousin Kathy spent the weekend with me and she dared me to call Bloody Mary. For those of you who are not as old as me, or for those who have forgotten this urban legend, the story goes that if you stand in front of a mirror in a darkened room and chant “Bloody Mary” a gruesome, bloody woman appears in the mirror. I don’t remember how many times you have to chant her name. I’ve heard three, ten, and twenty times. I’m going with ten here because Kathy and I had to chant a few times and when this story took place we had just gotten started chanting, so I think we had to chant more than three times.

Since she dared me, I got to pick the location and I settled on the bathroom because it was an interior room with no windows and once the door was shut and the lights were off, it was dark. I had the idea that Mary would be glowing and the darkness would allow us to see her better.

So in we go, door closed, lights off. Now I must mention that Kathy loved to play jokes on me, and I didn’t trust her, so I stood between her and the door. I thought maybe something awful would happen and she’d run out and shut me in or worse, something awful would happen and she wouldn’t let either of us out. So I stood in front of the door which meant I was also closest to the light switch.

We chanted a few times and I heard a click. We both stopped and I asked, “What was that?”
I turned on the light and the door was locked. We didn’t lock it when we came in.
We both ran out so fast it’s a wonder we didn’t tear down the door. We ran out of the house. We didn’t stop until we were well away and safe.

Then we never talked about it. That’s how I know it’s real. It’s too scary to mention.

I don’t think Kathy was messing with me. For one, she would have had to reach around me, in the dark, without bumping me, and find the door knob without making any noise. It wasn’t her bathroom, she rarely came to visit, and I just don’t think she could have done it.

Did we see anything? No, too dark.

Have I ever tried it again? Never. Too scary!