June 19, 2008
Oh, wow, a whole month since I’ve written. Here it is Full moon in June- Strong Sun Moon. What to wish for? I drew the Bear card this morning, nurture creativity. But I wanted wish for something that would improve the whole community. What to wish for, what to wish for. My dragon quilt is coming along nicely. I’d like to get it done this weekend, but that probably won’t happen. Maybe I should wish to stay focused and have enough energy to complete my daily goals. Maybe I should wish for a more magickal life. Or maybe I should save that wish for the Summer Solstice. Hhhhhmmmmm. 10am. After careful consideration, I decided my wish should be for my father to buy Pap’s old house so that I could live near the river. I could sit on the porch every day and make quilts.
August 14, 2008
I skipped the full moon is July, which I probably shouldn’t have done b/c it was the Blessing Moon and it is never good to turn down or pass over a blessing. Kevin wants me to stay home. I think it is a reaction to my getting a second job, even though it’s part-time. Anyway, he thinks he can work one more day a week and make what I bring home in a week and then we’ll be set. So I added up what he makes, and what his monthly expenses are, and I discovered that he should have an extra $400 a month. So where is this money going? I started him on a budget. I hope he sticks to it. If he does, I could be staying home by the end of the year. So I have been thinking- what would I do if I were home all day? Of course I could sew. And I should have a nice yard. And I should be thin. So I am pretending that I already stay home and trying to live that way in between those annoying times called work. Today I went to West Point Lake. I feel balanced now. I have decided that I worship the Goddess in Her form of River Queen. This evening I’m going to work on my iris bed. And I decided to quilt by hand. I’ll piece by machine, but I must hand-quilt. I am no longer concerned with making a small quilt to sell every week. Yes, it is nice having the extra money, but my quilts are suffering. They are not as pretty as they should be. I think I should make a storm at sea quilt to honor the River Goddess. I can do it all by hand with fabric that I dyed. Nice blues and greens. A little grey for rocks. A little tan for sand. It will be lovely.
The Witchcraft of FreeDragon
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
End of March to End of May
March 28, 2008
Ended up on 12 hours again and man, does it ever suck. My back was killing me when I left. 12 hours is just too long to ask anybody to work and I think it ought to illegal. I sold my fourth quilt at work. Steve bought the alphabet quilt for his oldest daughter. Today I am making mold sweeps, so that will pay the phone bill, and Brad said he wanted me to make another set, so maybe I’ll make an extra truck payment. Worked in the yard when I came home yesterday and that was nice. I pruned the oak tree and rake some leaves around the trunk as mulch. It looks nice. Then I sat in the swing and drank a beer and that was nice, too.
APRIL 2, 2008
Was reading the Hobo Stripper’s Blog. It’s interesting to see that someone still lives like a gypsy. I don’t think I could do it, my love of home is too strong. Finished the mold sweeps and got the phone bill paid. I’m going to call today and cancel my service. I hope to have cable next week. I am almost done with the baby quilt and I think I’ll use that money on my insurance b/c the date is coming ever closer and the envelope is still empty. Started cleaning up last night. The house is a mess again, the bane of working 12 hours. I am falling behind even with the Fly Lady’s zones. Came up with a new lunar spell- full moon wish bottles. Each month, on the full moon, I make a wish and place it in a bottle. I leave the bottle on my altar until the next moon, then I make new bottle, cork and old one, and put it in the cabinet. At the end of the year, I list all the wishes that manifested and give thanks. Those bottles are emptied, cleansed, and recycled. The wished that didn’t manifest are reworked. The calendar is telling me to start a wish garden, and this seems just as good.
APRIL 6, 2008
Still not the full moon, I have another two weeks to go. But at least I got every thing set up. I miss the Internet already. I am calling the cable company tomorrow. Until I am reconnected, I hope to write in my journal every day, since it is habit to sit down at the computer. I am having a hard time reaching Kevin and that is really bugging me. It seems like he just calls when it’s convenient for him. And I have to beg for him to come see me. I guess this is proof that I will be buying a trailer alone. Sigh.
APRIL 8, 2008
I didn’t beg and Kevin just showed up. Maybe he was picking up on how I was feeling. He was nice, anyway. I rearranged the bedroom. I put the bed in front of the window to block the light. I slept soooo much better. It’s dark enough now, and people going in and out of the park at three in the morning don’t wake me up when their headlights hit the window. I made a swag out of that thin rainbow material. I tied it up with ribbons and hung my star garland around it and put my dream catcher up and viola: instant elegance. I woke up feeling well rested for the first time in months. I might hang some herbs on the curtain rod to help me sleep. I’ve got the incense lit now to make the house smell better, and I’m doing laundry. I have to go to work at 12. Sigh. I decided to sell my “Magic Flying Dust” quilt b/c I didn’t have time to make another one. Maybe this weekend I can get some things finished. The sewing room is clean and mostly organized now, so I don’t mind spending time in there. I have more light with the machine in front of the window, so it seems more cheerful.
APRIL 17, 2008
I am waiting anxiously for the full Moon, even through I don’t yet know what to wish for. It’s almost full, I guess I could jump the gun a bit, but since I don’t even know what I want that seems a little silly. I came up with an idea for embroidering my own designs using yarn and the sewing machine. I experimented a little and I think I can make it work well. My current plan is to find an art company that would want to buy pics of my quilts and publish them as posters, book covers, calendars, etc. that way I could make money sewing. Maybe even sell some of the quilts. That could be one wish. I also wish Kevin and I had a deeper connection. I really miss him when he’s not here. I’ve never felt so lonely in all my life. I also wish to improve my neighborhood, make it better, nicer, more magickal. And of course, I would like to pay off the truck. And own my own home. Hmmm, do I have enough moons? Poor Halona has the mange again. I can’t afford to take her to the vet, last time it was about four trips before they declared her cured. I don’t know what to do. I guess just suck it up and be broke. It’s not like it would be much different from now. I paid the tag and the cable bill today. Then I went to the mailbox and my last phone bill had arrived. I couldn’t put any aside for the rent or the truck. I got $80 left and I just got paid today, I still have to buy gas, and minutes for the phone, and god only knows what else will come up. I wish I had enough money to pay all my bills on time, plus have some money going into my savings account every week, and have enough money saved up to handle any emergency that may come my way. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Sigh. Nothing to stretch.
APRIL 20, 2008
Full moon in April- Wind Moon. After reading my last entry, I think my wish should be to start my own business. I’m going to call it Ro Gilbert Textile Studios. The purpose of this business is to allow me to make a living doing something I love. My business sells hand-dyed fabric and quilts. I also make embroidery designs which I sell as book covers, calendars, and greeting cards. I earn a good living from business, enough to pay all my month bills on time, enough to save for emergencies and my retirement, and I still earn enough to have money to spend on “frivolous” things like books and garden supplies. My business allows me to work whenever I please so I still have time to spend with Kevin and my family. My business suits my lifestyle and I am very happy with it. That is my wish.
May 12, 2008
Embroidery with yarn doesn’t work that well, so I switched to floss which is much better. I have completed one design, started another, and drew up plans for my own work- completely, and totally designed by me. I started a website RoGilbertTextiles.com but I haven’t really got it going good yet. I have very few pictures b/c I need to convert my files. The site came with Paypal, so people have a way to buy directly from me. It’s been a while since I made a quilt to sell, but I did get lots of orders and I just finished a quilt for Mike. I hope to sell my car quilt this week, but it will probably be next week before I finish it. I suppose the only thing to do is work in the studio every day for at least one hour. I’d better get started. I went to the bookstore to buy a Mother’s Day present and while I was there I read a craft magazine. There was an article entitled “Weaving a Life” and it was all about using weaving to express life-affirming rites. I’m not sure I want to be a weaver, although I do weave on occasion, so I was thinking about applying quilting rites to life. It all boils down to the same thing- using an art to shape life. So how to start? A quilter needs a map. Not a road map, but a map of the quilt. The fabric is the terrain, the stitches are roads, and the blocks are cities. So then, quilting is a journey. Thus it follows that as a traveler, I need not only a map, but a suitcase. As no one needs unnecessary baggage, the priority is to pack the bare essentials. Since I am making the map as I go, it is vital that I make a record of my progress to remind me of where I’ve been, so that when I encounter similar places I know what to do. And of course, should discover new heights (or lows) I’ll need to record them to keep me out of trouble next time. So the primo-vital-just-can’t-do-with-out-it tool is the quilter’s journal. And it goes without saying that I need scissors for hacking through dense growth, and thread to mark my trail, and of course a walking stick, my needle. I must admit I got sidetracked with the map. There is a little confusion here for everybody, so I’ll set things straight- the map is NOT the journey. Even if you made the map while you were making the quilt, the map is still not journey. The map isn’t really even yours. It belongs to the Quiltmaker, which means as soon as you’ve finished a quilt/map you’ve left a trail for someone else. Don’t start a map and forget to go on the journey. I am guilty of having maps that lead nowhere. You know what I mean, how many quilts have you started b/c you just love having five or ten projects going to keep you from getting bored? In reality you wouldn’t get in the car and drive to New York, leave after an hour and drive to LA, then leave the next day for Atlanta, just to turn around and go to Dallas. If you have a whole closet full of UFOs, you’re not resisting boredom, you are frightened and running away from possibilities. Ask yourself, and be honest, why did you really start another quilt? Was that applique time-consuming? Did you just want to be done with something, anything? Did you start to crave bright colors? Was the thought of cutting out sixty blocks just too daunting? I am guilty of making maps that go nowhere and quilting aimlessly, which doesn’t anybody any good, least of all me. If I don’t finish the lesson I don’t learn anything. Whatever it is about the unfinished quilt that is bothering you, that’s what you need to learn. I assure you, you can take as many trips as you like. Just make sure you go home between trips/quilts to rest and evaluate. I have my suitcase with my essentials, and I have my maps, so now I need to enjoy the view. This means that I work at my own pace because I want to. It does not mean rushing through a quilt because I “have to” finish it for a quilt show or because it’s a x-mas gift and today is the 23rd. Which brings me to the essentials of starting a trip- preparing to leave. Before you go on a real trip you arrange for someone to pick up the mail and feed the dog. You pack and clean and make arrangements to be off from work. So before you quilt, you need to “give yourself permission” Do you feel guilty for quilting when there’s laundry to do? Can’t get started until the dishwasher is loaded? Just admit that you feel guilty about “me time” and then address the issue! Make a to do list, delegate chores, or set aside one day for you.
May 13, 2008
Now, to finish this essay. I’ve got a map, a suitcase, and I’ve started out at my own pace for my own reasons. So the next step would be figuring out how many miles/stitches to travel each day. So I need to ask myself some questions- am I a slow walker? Would I like a quick, determined pace? Would I go farther in the morning or at night? Am I ready to go but stuck in traffic? A slow walker is a hand quilter. A determined walker is a machine quilter. For those times when I am stuck in traffic (working my “real” job) I keep my quilting journal nearby to jot down ideas. It’s far easier to plot the course when the map is handy. Carry quilting magazines or books to read in waiting room. Other people’s travel logs are always inspiring. I like to have small hand quilting projects with me so that I can make great strides in Quilt Land on my lunch break. Time is only wasted when you’re fuming about wasted time. At some point, I’ll need to make camp. Now on a real camping trip, I would stop well before dark, find a nice spot to rest, build a fire, and eat my grub. As much fun as the quilt journey may be, everyone needs to rest. There is no need to quilt until you fall asleep in the easy chair. There is no reason to sew until your arm feels like it will fall off. If that’s how you quilt you’re turning it into far too much work.
May 16, 2008
So don’t make it work. Decide what you want to do. Then do it. At the end of the day, but everything back in your suitcase. That’s what I do, I travel thru the quilt, and when I get tired, I put everything away. This ensures that my projects get completed. I don’t lose pieces. Fabric cannot get dirty in its protective suitcase. Ever sit down on a needle? That wouldn’t happen if you didn’t leave it in the couch cushion to begin with. There’s a reason why needle cases were invented. The other nice thing about having putting the quilt away when I’m not traveling is that the project remains interesting because I’m not staring at it all day and berating myself for not getting it done.
May 18, 2008
Today’s card was Eagle- clarify my vision. So what do I want, and am I really seeing things as they are? Also, I decided to get started on the Full moon in May- Flower Moon, since I will be working tomorrow when the full moon actually begins. Let’s see, this is a moon about growth, so I think my wish should be for my website to grow. And I would like to live in the moment so that I am really living and not just existing. I need courage to solve my problems and wisdom to make the right move. I need to remember my past so that I can chart my future.
Ended up on 12 hours again and man, does it ever suck. My back was killing me when I left. 12 hours is just too long to ask anybody to work and I think it ought to illegal. I sold my fourth quilt at work. Steve bought the alphabet quilt for his oldest daughter. Today I am making mold sweeps, so that will pay the phone bill, and Brad said he wanted me to make another set, so maybe I’ll make an extra truck payment. Worked in the yard when I came home yesterday and that was nice. I pruned the oak tree and rake some leaves around the trunk as mulch. It looks nice. Then I sat in the swing and drank a beer and that was nice, too.
APRIL 2, 2008
Was reading the Hobo Stripper’s Blog. It’s interesting to see that someone still lives like a gypsy. I don’t think I could do it, my love of home is too strong. Finished the mold sweeps and got the phone bill paid. I’m going to call today and cancel my service. I hope to have cable next week. I am almost done with the baby quilt and I think I’ll use that money on my insurance b/c the date is coming ever closer and the envelope is still empty. Started cleaning up last night. The house is a mess again, the bane of working 12 hours. I am falling behind even with the Fly Lady’s zones. Came up with a new lunar spell- full moon wish bottles. Each month, on the full moon, I make a wish and place it in a bottle. I leave the bottle on my altar until the next moon, then I make new bottle, cork and old one, and put it in the cabinet. At the end of the year, I list all the wishes that manifested and give thanks. Those bottles are emptied, cleansed, and recycled. The wished that didn’t manifest are reworked. The calendar is telling me to start a wish garden, and this seems just as good.
APRIL 6, 2008
Still not the full moon, I have another two weeks to go. But at least I got every thing set up. I miss the Internet already. I am calling the cable company tomorrow. Until I am reconnected, I hope to write in my journal every day, since it is habit to sit down at the computer. I am having a hard time reaching Kevin and that is really bugging me. It seems like he just calls when it’s convenient for him. And I have to beg for him to come see me. I guess this is proof that I will be buying a trailer alone. Sigh.
APRIL 8, 2008
I didn’t beg and Kevin just showed up. Maybe he was picking up on how I was feeling. He was nice, anyway. I rearranged the bedroom. I put the bed in front of the window to block the light. I slept soooo much better. It’s dark enough now, and people going in and out of the park at three in the morning don’t wake me up when their headlights hit the window. I made a swag out of that thin rainbow material. I tied it up with ribbons and hung my star garland around it and put my dream catcher up and viola: instant elegance. I woke up feeling well rested for the first time in months. I might hang some herbs on the curtain rod to help me sleep. I’ve got the incense lit now to make the house smell better, and I’m doing laundry. I have to go to work at 12. Sigh. I decided to sell my “Magic Flying Dust” quilt b/c I didn’t have time to make another one. Maybe this weekend I can get some things finished. The sewing room is clean and mostly organized now, so I don’t mind spending time in there. I have more light with the machine in front of the window, so it seems more cheerful.
APRIL 17, 2008
I am waiting anxiously for the full Moon, even through I don’t yet know what to wish for. It’s almost full, I guess I could jump the gun a bit, but since I don’t even know what I want that seems a little silly. I came up with an idea for embroidering my own designs using yarn and the sewing machine. I experimented a little and I think I can make it work well. My current plan is to find an art company that would want to buy pics of my quilts and publish them as posters, book covers, calendars, etc. that way I could make money sewing. Maybe even sell some of the quilts. That could be one wish. I also wish Kevin and I had a deeper connection. I really miss him when he’s not here. I’ve never felt so lonely in all my life. I also wish to improve my neighborhood, make it better, nicer, more magickal. And of course, I would like to pay off the truck. And own my own home. Hmmm, do I have enough moons? Poor Halona has the mange again. I can’t afford to take her to the vet, last time it was about four trips before they declared her cured. I don’t know what to do. I guess just suck it up and be broke. It’s not like it would be much different from now. I paid the tag and the cable bill today. Then I went to the mailbox and my last phone bill had arrived. I couldn’t put any aside for the rent or the truck. I got $80 left and I just got paid today, I still have to buy gas, and minutes for the phone, and god only knows what else will come up. I wish I had enough money to pay all my bills on time, plus have some money going into my savings account every week, and have enough money saved up to handle any emergency that may come my way. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Sigh. Nothing to stretch.
APRIL 20, 2008
Full moon in April- Wind Moon. After reading my last entry, I think my wish should be to start my own business. I’m going to call it Ro Gilbert Textile Studios. The purpose of this business is to allow me to make a living doing something I love. My business sells hand-dyed fabric and quilts. I also make embroidery designs which I sell as book covers, calendars, and greeting cards. I earn a good living from business, enough to pay all my month bills on time, enough to save for emergencies and my retirement, and I still earn enough to have money to spend on “frivolous” things like books and garden supplies. My business allows me to work whenever I please so I still have time to spend with Kevin and my family. My business suits my lifestyle and I am very happy with it. That is my wish.
May 12, 2008
Embroidery with yarn doesn’t work that well, so I switched to floss which is much better. I have completed one design, started another, and drew up plans for my own work- completely, and totally designed by me. I started a website RoGilbertTextiles.com but I haven’t really got it going good yet. I have very few pictures b/c I need to convert my files. The site came with Paypal, so people have a way to buy directly from me. It’s been a while since I made a quilt to sell, but I did get lots of orders and I just finished a quilt for Mike. I hope to sell my car quilt this week, but it will probably be next week before I finish it. I suppose the only thing to do is work in the studio every day for at least one hour. I’d better get started. I went to the bookstore to buy a Mother’s Day present and while I was there I read a craft magazine. There was an article entitled “Weaving a Life” and it was all about using weaving to express life-affirming rites. I’m not sure I want to be a weaver, although I do weave on occasion, so I was thinking about applying quilting rites to life. It all boils down to the same thing- using an art to shape life. So how to start? A quilter needs a map. Not a road map, but a map of the quilt. The fabric is the terrain, the stitches are roads, and the blocks are cities. So then, quilting is a journey. Thus it follows that as a traveler, I need not only a map, but a suitcase. As no one needs unnecessary baggage, the priority is to pack the bare essentials. Since I am making the map as I go, it is vital that I make a record of my progress to remind me of where I’ve been, so that when I encounter similar places I know what to do. And of course, should discover new heights (or lows) I’ll need to record them to keep me out of trouble next time. So the primo-vital-just-can’t-do-with-out-it tool is the quilter’s journal. And it goes without saying that I need scissors for hacking through dense growth, and thread to mark my trail, and of course a walking stick, my needle. I must admit I got sidetracked with the map. There is a little confusion here for everybody, so I’ll set things straight- the map is NOT the journey. Even if you made the map while you were making the quilt, the map is still not journey. The map isn’t really even yours. It belongs to the Quiltmaker, which means as soon as you’ve finished a quilt/map you’ve left a trail for someone else. Don’t start a map and forget to go on the journey. I am guilty of having maps that lead nowhere. You know what I mean, how many quilts have you started b/c you just love having five or ten projects going to keep you from getting bored? In reality you wouldn’t get in the car and drive to New York, leave after an hour and drive to LA, then leave the next day for Atlanta, just to turn around and go to Dallas. If you have a whole closet full of UFOs, you’re not resisting boredom, you are frightened and running away from possibilities. Ask yourself, and be honest, why did you really start another quilt? Was that applique time-consuming? Did you just want to be done with something, anything? Did you start to crave bright colors? Was the thought of cutting out sixty blocks just too daunting? I am guilty of making maps that go nowhere and quilting aimlessly, which doesn’t anybody any good, least of all me. If I don’t finish the lesson I don’t learn anything. Whatever it is about the unfinished quilt that is bothering you, that’s what you need to learn. I assure you, you can take as many trips as you like. Just make sure you go home between trips/quilts to rest and evaluate. I have my suitcase with my essentials, and I have my maps, so now I need to enjoy the view. This means that I work at my own pace because I want to. It does not mean rushing through a quilt because I “have to” finish it for a quilt show or because it’s a x-mas gift and today is the 23rd. Which brings me to the essentials of starting a trip- preparing to leave. Before you go on a real trip you arrange for someone to pick up the mail and feed the dog. You pack and clean and make arrangements to be off from work. So before you quilt, you need to “give yourself permission” Do you feel guilty for quilting when there’s laundry to do? Can’t get started until the dishwasher is loaded? Just admit that you feel guilty about “me time” and then address the issue! Make a to do list, delegate chores, or set aside one day for you.
May 13, 2008
Now, to finish this essay. I’ve got a map, a suitcase, and I’ve started out at my own pace for my own reasons. So the next step would be figuring out how many miles/stitches to travel each day. So I need to ask myself some questions- am I a slow walker? Would I like a quick, determined pace? Would I go farther in the morning or at night? Am I ready to go but stuck in traffic? A slow walker is a hand quilter. A determined walker is a machine quilter. For those times when I am stuck in traffic (working my “real” job) I keep my quilting journal nearby to jot down ideas. It’s far easier to plot the course when the map is handy. Carry quilting magazines or books to read in waiting room. Other people’s travel logs are always inspiring. I like to have small hand quilting projects with me so that I can make great strides in Quilt Land on my lunch break. Time is only wasted when you’re fuming about wasted time. At some point, I’ll need to make camp. Now on a real camping trip, I would stop well before dark, find a nice spot to rest, build a fire, and eat my grub. As much fun as the quilt journey may be, everyone needs to rest. There is no need to quilt until you fall asleep in the easy chair. There is no reason to sew until your arm feels like it will fall off. If that’s how you quilt you’re turning it into far too much work.
May 16, 2008
So don’t make it work. Decide what you want to do. Then do it. At the end of the day, but everything back in your suitcase. That’s what I do, I travel thru the quilt, and when I get tired, I put everything away. This ensures that my projects get completed. I don’t lose pieces. Fabric cannot get dirty in its protective suitcase. Ever sit down on a needle? That wouldn’t happen if you didn’t leave it in the couch cushion to begin with. There’s a reason why needle cases were invented. The other nice thing about having putting the quilt away when I’m not traveling is that the project remains interesting because I’m not staring at it all day and berating myself for not getting it done.
May 18, 2008
Today’s card was Eagle- clarify my vision. So what do I want, and am I really seeing things as they are? Also, I decided to get started on the Full moon in May- Flower Moon, since I will be working tomorrow when the full moon actually begins. Let’s see, this is a moon about growth, so I think my wish should be for my website to grow. And I would like to live in the moment so that I am really living and not just existing. I need courage to solve my problems and wisdom to make the right move. I need to remember my past so that I can chart my future.
End of Jan to March 20th
January 19, 2008
Cast a spell today, first one in a while. I had a dream about a snake chasing me, so I know my enemies are working against me. I think the snake is Jean. I cast a freezer spell. I used snow (rare in the South) from my stairs (between place, neither up nor down), and I cast on a Saturday (day of banishing). Should be good now. I ought to put my mirrors back up. I was also thinking about blessing my furnace, hearth fire and all, and I have had all that trouble with the heat. I think it’s fixed now. Kevin’s knee is much better- staph infection clearing up. I finished the second book Tammy loaned me. I’ve been wanting to weave, but I feel too lazy to do anything requiring concentration. Think I’ll go read the cards, see what’s in store for me.
February 4, 2008
I dreamed I was a child living on a boat which sat partly in and partly out of the water. I could dive out my window and be in the ocean. One day I jumped out and some adults yelled for me to come back, there were dangerous creatures in the water. I swam out anyway b/c I could see dolphins. I tried to catch one, but they wouldn’t let me get very close. They were incredibly fast. There were several baby dolphins and the babies seemed more inclined to “speak” to me.
February 11, 2008
Hhhmmmm. What’s new? Haven’t been writing as much as I would like, but I am losing weight. I have down days where I seem to have out of control munching, and I noticed the more stressed I am, or the more worried, the more I want to eat. But by and large I have been eating less and since the weather is warming up I have been going outside more. That means more movement, which = more burnt calories. Am reading RavenWolf’s MindLight which is basically about using thought to manifest desires. I keep meaning to start a Wish Craft Journal. Every new to full moon I could work on drawing things to me and on the waning moon I could banish. This is something I start every so often and I never stick with it. Last time I used the Zodiac Wheel and placed symbols of my desires in the appropriate houses. Good idea, or would have been if I had kept at it. Maybe I can sit down later tonight and make a list of what I want. I could use my note cards again- one desire per card, randomly pull a card each morning and make that my focus for the day. For banishing I could just make my list and burn it. Remembering to do these things is the key.
February 12, 2008
Moon in Taurus. Well, I haven’t made that list, but I did set up my journal so that I could work with the moon in each sign. Right now it’s a waxing moon, so I should be pulling things to me. Taurus is good for money, especially saving money, holding onto what I have, and long-term goal planning. Let’s see, I already made some envelopes for the things I need to save money for. I have an envelope for rent, insurance, getting Halona fixed, new tires, and x-mas, with the dollar amount written on the envelope (all except x-mas b/c I couldn’t decide what would be a good amount.) I suppose I should state my financial goals, which are to save more money, to get my house, and to have enough money laid aside so that it is easier to pay all my bills on time. I would also like to pay off the truck this year. My plan for that is to make weekly payments, at least $100 a week, but $200 would be better. And I finally got Jean to agree to let me work 8 hours a day Monday thru Friday, with weekends off, so I definitely what to hold on to that. Aaahhh. There’s my list.
February 14, 2008
Moon in Gemini, good for learning or research (Dad’s genealogy?) Finish the old and move on to the new, juggle many projects, new job, divination tools. Let’s see, definitely juggling projects here- I still want to keep my 8 hour schedule and I am waiting eagerly for it to start so I can leave my old 12 hour shift behind for good. I do have money left over this week, so I feel great about that. I am learning quantum magick. I had a set back today- I agreed to have my afternoon be better than my morning and it backfired on me. Got worse. So I am still learning how that works. Am I secretly wanting to be the martyr so people will pity me? I think not, but it could be true deep on a subconscious level since I think women are pressed by society to take that role. Having a new shift would sort of be like having a new job, but really and truly I want to have a job where I work with fabric. I want a new job that makes me happy and pays all my bills every month with plenty left over so that I can save for the future. I agree. I agree physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I agree, I agree. I tried out a variation of my parking spell. I asked to have the same spot when I returned from lunch and I got it. I was very surprised b/c I was in the second space. Wow. Thank you, Great Goddess Squat. I think I’ll read the cards after supper. Last night I saw a spell for a unicorn charm and I was thinking of trying it out. Another project!
February 24, 2008
Moon in Libra, good for sharing the arts where you seek others’ approval, ensuring fair treatment, to enjoy beauty, learning to cooperate with others, partnerships. Well, no surprise, I have skipped a few signs. I also cannot think of anything I want to work for in this sign. I need some energy and motivation. I am feeling really lazy. Tomorrow I start my 8 hour shift, so I guess what I really need is balance so that I can pursue my quilting. And it would probably be a good thing if someone would notice my art and inquire about it. I don’t know if I need a partnership for business, but it seems wise to ask that my relationship with Kevin is fair, equal, and continues for the duration. There, put in a little thought and get a definite picture.
MARCH 2, 2008
Moon in Capricorn, good for working with authority figures, rules, business, schools, building savings account, call for justice, work for a promotion, order out of a chaos. Let’s see, been skipping moons again. I must make this a daily habit so that my magick flows strong. I want to start a savings account with a higher interest rate. I got an offer in the mail from ING and I want that to go smoothly. I also want injustices at work to be resolved. It is not fair that some people don’t wear uniforms and get away it. It is not fair that some people get paid to do absolutely nothing. It is not fair that promises and agreements are made to me and not kept. It is not fair that some find reasons to get me in trouble when I am not doing anything wrong. I banish all these lesser irritations for the good of the whole workplace. I want to keep my 8hr shift and in the future, I would like another job where Jean is not my boss. Since Capricorn is a business sign, I want to start selling my fabric. I want to sell on Saturdays and have lots of sales. I also ask for ambition, motivation, courage to follow my dreams, a new perspective, and creativity.
MARCH 9, 2008, SUNDAY
I dreamed I called and complained about the water wasn’t working properly. Someone was on my porch. I could see shadows moving and I wasn’t dressed, so I closed the door and looked out the window. My landlord, my ac repairman, and the power company were in the yard fixing the outside light which was flickering. My landlord said when the light shone the water wouldn’t drip. Then my husband called for me to help him into the house. He is in a wheelchair and I have to help him up the porch. The wheelchair ramp has been taken down and he has to go up the stairs. I take his hand and say come on, and he starts to whine about he will fall. I say he won’t b/c I’ve got him and he’s done it before. Everyone stops working on the light and watches me. They think I am being mean. He tries to ride the wheelchair up the stairs, but he slips, falls out of the chair, and slides under the trailer. I never let go, but he screams louder. I have to pick him up and carry him in. I’m angry b/c I know he can get into the house by himself and he is saying I can’t carry him b/c he’s too heavy. And I tell him he always does this, he gets close then gives up and waits for me to do everything, even if he’s done it before with no problems.
That dream is about Kevin, my emotions, and what I don’t want to see.
March 20, 2008
The moon is in Virgo and boy, have I been skipping entries. I am really depressed about my finances b/c the harder I try to stay on a budget and save money, the less I have. Maybe it was always like that and I just didn’t notice until I tried to stretch my paycheck and then learned there’s nothing to stretch. (Sigh.) Some good news- I have sold three quilts at work. I’ve been using the money for groceries. I am not losing weight, the scale reads the same, but I look thinner and body is becoming more toned. My back doesn’t hurt quite as much since I started exercising. It’s easier to pop my back too. I am still on 8 hours, but I got screwed and sent to 2nd shift. Jean has no balls and he’s totally racist. I don’t even want to think about it anymore. I was thinking of designing some fabric using rubber stamps. I could make a theme quilt. Went to Wally World last night after work and they had nothing I wanted. Don’t know if they were sold out or hadn’t restocked or what, but it was very disappointing. Should of just forgo-ed Wal-Mart and went to Hobby Lobby.
Cast a spell today, first one in a while. I had a dream about a snake chasing me, so I know my enemies are working against me. I think the snake is Jean. I cast a freezer spell. I used snow (rare in the South) from my stairs (between place, neither up nor down), and I cast on a Saturday (day of banishing). Should be good now. I ought to put my mirrors back up. I was also thinking about blessing my furnace, hearth fire and all, and I have had all that trouble with the heat. I think it’s fixed now. Kevin’s knee is much better- staph infection clearing up. I finished the second book Tammy loaned me. I’ve been wanting to weave, but I feel too lazy to do anything requiring concentration. Think I’ll go read the cards, see what’s in store for me.
February 4, 2008
I dreamed I was a child living on a boat which sat partly in and partly out of the water. I could dive out my window and be in the ocean. One day I jumped out and some adults yelled for me to come back, there were dangerous creatures in the water. I swam out anyway b/c I could see dolphins. I tried to catch one, but they wouldn’t let me get very close. They were incredibly fast. There were several baby dolphins and the babies seemed more inclined to “speak” to me.
February 11, 2008
Hhhmmmm. What’s new? Haven’t been writing as much as I would like, but I am losing weight. I have down days where I seem to have out of control munching, and I noticed the more stressed I am, or the more worried, the more I want to eat. But by and large I have been eating less and since the weather is warming up I have been going outside more. That means more movement, which = more burnt calories. Am reading RavenWolf’s MindLight which is basically about using thought to manifest desires. I keep meaning to start a Wish Craft Journal. Every new to full moon I could work on drawing things to me and on the waning moon I could banish. This is something I start every so often and I never stick with it. Last time I used the Zodiac Wheel and placed symbols of my desires in the appropriate houses. Good idea, or would have been if I had kept at it. Maybe I can sit down later tonight and make a list of what I want. I could use my note cards again- one desire per card, randomly pull a card each morning and make that my focus for the day. For banishing I could just make my list and burn it. Remembering to do these things is the key.
February 12, 2008
Moon in Taurus. Well, I haven’t made that list, but I did set up my journal so that I could work with the moon in each sign. Right now it’s a waxing moon, so I should be pulling things to me. Taurus is good for money, especially saving money, holding onto what I have, and long-term goal planning. Let’s see, I already made some envelopes for the things I need to save money for. I have an envelope for rent, insurance, getting Halona fixed, new tires, and x-mas, with the dollar amount written on the envelope (all except x-mas b/c I couldn’t decide what would be a good amount.) I suppose I should state my financial goals, which are to save more money, to get my house, and to have enough money laid aside so that it is easier to pay all my bills on time. I would also like to pay off the truck this year. My plan for that is to make weekly payments, at least $100 a week, but $200 would be better. And I finally got Jean to agree to let me work 8 hours a day Monday thru Friday, with weekends off, so I definitely what to hold on to that. Aaahhh. There’s my list.
February 14, 2008
Moon in Gemini, good for learning or research (Dad’s genealogy?) Finish the old and move on to the new, juggle many projects, new job, divination tools. Let’s see, definitely juggling projects here- I still want to keep my 8 hour schedule and I am waiting eagerly for it to start so I can leave my old 12 hour shift behind for good. I do have money left over this week, so I feel great about that. I am learning quantum magick. I had a set back today- I agreed to have my afternoon be better than my morning and it backfired on me. Got worse. So I am still learning how that works. Am I secretly wanting to be the martyr so people will pity me? I think not, but it could be true deep on a subconscious level since I think women are pressed by society to take that role. Having a new shift would sort of be like having a new job, but really and truly I want to have a job where I work with fabric. I want a new job that makes me happy and pays all my bills every month with plenty left over so that I can save for the future. I agree. I agree physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I agree, I agree. I tried out a variation of my parking spell. I asked to have the same spot when I returned from lunch and I got it. I was very surprised b/c I was in the second space. Wow. Thank you, Great Goddess Squat. I think I’ll read the cards after supper. Last night I saw a spell for a unicorn charm and I was thinking of trying it out. Another project!
February 24, 2008
Moon in Libra, good for sharing the arts where you seek others’ approval, ensuring fair treatment, to enjoy beauty, learning to cooperate with others, partnerships. Well, no surprise, I have skipped a few signs. I also cannot think of anything I want to work for in this sign. I need some energy and motivation. I am feeling really lazy. Tomorrow I start my 8 hour shift, so I guess what I really need is balance so that I can pursue my quilting. And it would probably be a good thing if someone would notice my art and inquire about it. I don’t know if I need a partnership for business, but it seems wise to ask that my relationship with Kevin is fair, equal, and continues for the duration. There, put in a little thought and get a definite picture.
MARCH 2, 2008
Moon in Capricorn, good for working with authority figures, rules, business, schools, building savings account, call for justice, work for a promotion, order out of a chaos. Let’s see, been skipping moons again. I must make this a daily habit so that my magick flows strong. I want to start a savings account with a higher interest rate. I got an offer in the mail from ING and I want that to go smoothly. I also want injustices at work to be resolved. It is not fair that some people don’t wear uniforms and get away it. It is not fair that some people get paid to do absolutely nothing. It is not fair that promises and agreements are made to me and not kept. It is not fair that some find reasons to get me in trouble when I am not doing anything wrong. I banish all these lesser irritations for the good of the whole workplace. I want to keep my 8hr shift and in the future, I would like another job where Jean is not my boss. Since Capricorn is a business sign, I want to start selling my fabric. I want to sell on Saturdays and have lots of sales. I also ask for ambition, motivation, courage to follow my dreams, a new perspective, and creativity.
MARCH 9, 2008, SUNDAY
I dreamed I called and complained about the water wasn’t working properly. Someone was on my porch. I could see shadows moving and I wasn’t dressed, so I closed the door and looked out the window. My landlord, my ac repairman, and the power company were in the yard fixing the outside light which was flickering. My landlord said when the light shone the water wouldn’t drip. Then my husband called for me to help him into the house. He is in a wheelchair and I have to help him up the porch. The wheelchair ramp has been taken down and he has to go up the stairs. I take his hand and say come on, and he starts to whine about he will fall. I say he won’t b/c I’ve got him and he’s done it before. Everyone stops working on the light and watches me. They think I am being mean. He tries to ride the wheelchair up the stairs, but he slips, falls out of the chair, and slides under the trailer. I never let go, but he screams louder. I have to pick him up and carry him in. I’m angry b/c I know he can get into the house by himself and he is saying I can’t carry him b/c he’s too heavy. And I tell him he always does this, he gets close then gives up and waits for me to do everything, even if he’s done it before with no problems.
That dream is about Kevin, my emotions, and what I don’t want to see.
March 20, 2008
The moon is in Virgo and boy, have I been skipping entries. I am really depressed about my finances b/c the harder I try to stay on a budget and save money, the less I have. Maybe it was always like that and I just didn’t notice until I tried to stretch my paycheck and then learned there’s nothing to stretch. (Sigh.) Some good news- I have sold three quilts at work. I’ve been using the money for groceries. I am not losing weight, the scale reads the same, but I look thinner and body is becoming more toned. My back doesn’t hurt quite as much since I started exercising. It’s easier to pop my back too. I am still on 8 hours, but I got screwed and sent to 2nd shift. Jean has no balls and he’s totally racist. I don’t even want to think about it anymore. I was thinking of designing some fabric using rubber stamps. I could make a theme quilt. Went to Wally World last night after work and they had nothing I wanted. Don’t know if they were sold out or hadn’t restocked or what, but it was very disappointing. Should of just forgo-ed Wal-Mart and went to Hobby Lobby.
Journal first to fifteenth
January 1, 2008
I tried to start an online journal/blog but the page just wouldn’t post. I gave up. I definitely want an electronic journal to save paper. Plus there’s all that cool art I can upload to it.
So what should I be doing with my time?
1. Reading. I love books, why don’t I read as much as I used to?
2. Moving around. I am fat. I need to burn calories. I don’t walk like I used to. Solution- take Halona to park once a week.
3. Creating art. I love art. I love textiles. Why do I treat it like a chore?
4. Working a job I actually like. I despise my current job. I hate plastic. Why do I spend so much time in a plastics factory?
5. Sticking to a routine. I know I get confused easily. No need to make things difficult.
6. Maybe write something every once in a while since I do have a BA in English. Start a journal!
7. Save my money and buy every one x-mas gifts. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I wrote that just to give me some perspective. I think I should start writing stories. Maybe some things that happened to me when I was a child, or things that I have seen. Essays. That means “to try” Writing is all about the art of trying. So is life.
January 2, 2008
Tammy brought over some books yesterday for Paper Back Swap and one of them was “French Women Don’t Get Fat” I read it yesterday and decided it was the most sensible way for me to loose weight since I hate exercise and dieting. Be more aware of what you eat, don’t eat too much, enjoy your food, and move around a little. I can do that. I hate diets- they increase my chances of getting a migraine. Some other changes- I decided to burn a stick of incense every evening to make the house smell better. I bought that wonderful fruit incense from Big Lots and even when not lit it smells heavenly. I finished Mom’s pillow! I am so happy I completed a sewing project on New Year’s Day! I decided that can be her birthday present and I’ll make Sun Bonnet Sue for Mother’s Day. I have to pay the rent today- I hate going over to the office. Maybe I’ll get lucky and Sadie will have died during the night. I hope my deposit goes thru before my check does. I get tried of not having enough money to pay my bills. I hate my job. I have to go in today @ 12 and I am dreading it. I just got to get through this week and then I will be on vacation, but I just know Jean will find all kinds of stupid things for me to do all week. The man cannot stand for anyone to have time off.
10am Finished another sewing project, so now I am two for two! Still don’t want to go to work or pay rent. Back still hurts.
January 6, 2008
I’ve been debating on whether or not to apply for a management position at work and now that I’ve read my journal entries, I have my answer. I hate my job and I hate the company I work for, so moving up means more loathing. Duh. Today is the first official day of my vacation. The thermostat went out this morning. Am waiting for someone/anyone to come fix it. It’s time to move out. I’ll be really glad when I have my own house. I’ve been sewing almost every night and I feel that I am really making good progress. I decided to sell that quilt. I can post a sign at work and hopefully it will go quickly. Next I’m going to make a log cabin quilt and then some from my quilt book and sell those too. If nothing else, Hazel will probably buy one. Went for a walk this morning. Got hot, sore and tired, but I burned some calories! Incense idea works very well, house doesn’t smell anymore. Kevin got an e-mail account. Brother’s girlfriend set it up for him, so now he has an inbox full of silly messages that he cannot open due to his lack of computer access. Oh well.
Date of next entry
January 10, 2008
Vacation is going well. I feel more rested. For my birthday, Kevin and I went to see Beowulf. First 3-D movie I ever saw. We ate at Olive Garden. Kevin didn’t much care for the food and he wouldn’t have picked that movie, but I really enjoyed myself. Tammy and Lee came over Sunday and Lee fixed the heat for me. Sadie lied to me- she said she couldn’t get in touch with landlord and on Monday when I told her I got the heat working she said she would call back and tell him not to come. So she lied and he knew I didn’t have heat in January, he was just too lazy to come out. Later he shows up anyway and all he did was shine his flashlight on the reset button. I don’t know why he bothered. Lazy old goat. I cleaned up the yard and everything looks nice again. I started doing the Fly Lady’s zones again, but I have reworked them to fit my house better. This way I don’t become overwhelmed and nothing gets backed up. I still need to mop. My hands look terrible- dry scaly skin. I hate my job, it makes me ugly long after my days off. Took Halona for a long walk again today. Legs still ached and burned, but it seemed a little easier.
Date of next entry
January 15, 2008
Decided to get the oil changed today and go to the library to look for Robert B. Parker’s new book. Realized I miss reading and decided to do more of it. Vacation went pretty well in spite of the fact that I didn’t sew as much as I planned to. Saturday Kevin took me on the ATV to the clay pits. I saw places I’ve never been. We rode around the pasture too, and everything was fun. I feel more rested and my hands look slightly better now. Last two days I woke up saying, “I don’t want to go.” Really not wanting to go back to work. This vacation has shown me how much I despise my job.
I tried to start an online journal/blog but the page just wouldn’t post. I gave up. I definitely want an electronic journal to save paper. Plus there’s all that cool art I can upload to it.
So what should I be doing with my time?
1. Reading. I love books, why don’t I read as much as I used to?
2. Moving around. I am fat. I need to burn calories. I don’t walk like I used to. Solution- take Halona to park once a week.
3. Creating art. I love art. I love textiles. Why do I treat it like a chore?
4. Working a job I actually like. I despise my current job. I hate plastic. Why do I spend so much time in a plastics factory?
5. Sticking to a routine. I know I get confused easily. No need to make things difficult.
6. Maybe write something every once in a while since I do have a BA in English. Start a journal!
7. Save my money and buy every one x-mas gifts. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I wrote that just to give me some perspective. I think I should start writing stories. Maybe some things that happened to me when I was a child, or things that I have seen. Essays. That means “to try” Writing is all about the art of trying. So is life.
January 2, 2008
Tammy brought over some books yesterday for Paper Back Swap and one of them was “French Women Don’t Get Fat” I read it yesterday and decided it was the most sensible way for me to loose weight since I hate exercise and dieting. Be more aware of what you eat, don’t eat too much, enjoy your food, and move around a little. I can do that. I hate diets- they increase my chances of getting a migraine. Some other changes- I decided to burn a stick of incense every evening to make the house smell better. I bought that wonderful fruit incense from Big Lots and even when not lit it smells heavenly. I finished Mom’s pillow! I am so happy I completed a sewing project on New Year’s Day! I decided that can be her birthday present and I’ll make Sun Bonnet Sue for Mother’s Day. I have to pay the rent today- I hate going over to the office. Maybe I’ll get lucky and Sadie will have died during the night. I hope my deposit goes thru before my check does. I get tried of not having enough money to pay my bills. I hate my job. I have to go in today @ 12 and I am dreading it. I just got to get through this week and then I will be on vacation, but I just know Jean will find all kinds of stupid things for me to do all week. The man cannot stand for anyone to have time off.
10am Finished another sewing project, so now I am two for two! Still don’t want to go to work or pay rent. Back still hurts.
January 6, 2008
I’ve been debating on whether or not to apply for a management position at work and now that I’ve read my journal entries, I have my answer. I hate my job and I hate the company I work for, so moving up means more loathing. Duh. Today is the first official day of my vacation. The thermostat went out this morning. Am waiting for someone/anyone to come fix it. It’s time to move out. I’ll be really glad when I have my own house. I’ve been sewing almost every night and I feel that I am really making good progress. I decided to sell that quilt. I can post a sign at work and hopefully it will go quickly. Next I’m going to make a log cabin quilt and then some from my quilt book and sell those too. If nothing else, Hazel will probably buy one. Went for a walk this morning. Got hot, sore and tired, but I burned some calories! Incense idea works very well, house doesn’t smell anymore. Kevin got an e-mail account. Brother’s girlfriend set it up for him, so now he has an inbox full of silly messages that he cannot open due to his lack of computer access. Oh well.
Date of next entry
January 10, 2008
Vacation is going well. I feel more rested. For my birthday, Kevin and I went to see Beowulf. First 3-D movie I ever saw. We ate at Olive Garden. Kevin didn’t much care for the food and he wouldn’t have picked that movie, but I really enjoyed myself. Tammy and Lee came over Sunday and Lee fixed the heat for me. Sadie lied to me- she said she couldn’t get in touch with landlord and on Monday when I told her I got the heat working she said she would call back and tell him not to come. So she lied and he knew I didn’t have heat in January, he was just too lazy to come out. Later he shows up anyway and all he did was shine his flashlight on the reset button. I don’t know why he bothered. Lazy old goat. I cleaned up the yard and everything looks nice again. I started doing the Fly Lady’s zones again, but I have reworked them to fit my house better. This way I don’t become overwhelmed and nothing gets backed up. I still need to mop. My hands look terrible- dry scaly skin. I hate my job, it makes me ugly long after my days off. Took Halona for a long walk again today. Legs still ached and burned, but it seemed a little easier.
Date of next entry
January 15, 2008
Decided to get the oil changed today and go to the library to look for Robert B. Parker’s new book. Realized I miss reading and decided to do more of it. Vacation went pretty well in spite of the fact that I didn’t sew as much as I planned to. Saturday Kevin took me on the ATV to the clay pits. I saw places I’ve never been. We rode around the pasture too, and everything was fun. I feel more rested and my hands look slightly better now. Last two days I woke up saying, “I don’t want to go.” Really not wanting to go back to work. This vacation has shown me how much I despise my job.
The Great Memory Save Project
In an effort to clear my computer's memory, I am posting some things here. I plan to post my journal, some quilting info and pictures. Why tie up my hard drive when the Internet is boundless?
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Alien Abduction Story Or, What Turns a Normal Person Into a Weird Creep
Allen is strange. Just strange. Talks slower than Christmas. A story that would take me 15 minutes to tell takes him 45 minutes to an hour. He has trust issues and can’t ever find a date. He’s not exactly ugly, but he is certainly not good-looking. Weird. Very weird. Anyway, one day Allen told me how he was abducted by aliens and I truly believe it because it explains EVERYTHING.
Once he was a fairly normal guy with an average job, an apartment, and, not just a girlfriend, but a fiancée. The fiancée was out of town training for a new job. Allen was lying on his bed reading a book. It was late at night and he nodded off a time or two. To help him focus on what he was reading, he put his thumb under the paragraph. But he drifted off again. When he woke up, he decided it was bed time. Still holding his thumb on the same paragraph, he lowered the book and discovered that he was stark naked.
Across the room was a chair and all his clothes were folded neatly on it. This was strange for two reasons, first he never put his clothes on the chair and second they were dirty so there was no reason to neatly fold them. Even more out of place was were the socks, which were rolled up, one in each shoe. Allen swears that he NEVER does such a thing.
No one was in the apartment. All the doors were locked. Nothing else was out of place. He doesn’t remember doing it.
A few months later he awoke to find his cat sitting on his chest and the first thing he saw was two big green eyes. His first thought was “Oh, shit, they came back!”
It took Allen 35 minutes to tell me this story.
So the next time you are trapped listening to some boring story run far and fast, that guy's probably alien bait.
Once he was a fairly normal guy with an average job, an apartment, and, not just a girlfriend, but a fiancée. The fiancée was out of town training for a new job. Allen was lying on his bed reading a book. It was late at night and he nodded off a time or two. To help him focus on what he was reading, he put his thumb under the paragraph. But he drifted off again. When he woke up, he decided it was bed time. Still holding his thumb on the same paragraph, he lowered the book and discovered that he was stark naked.
Across the room was a chair and all his clothes were folded neatly on it. This was strange for two reasons, first he never put his clothes on the chair and second they were dirty so there was no reason to neatly fold them. Even more out of place was were the socks, which were rolled up, one in each shoe. Allen swears that he NEVER does such a thing.
No one was in the apartment. All the doors were locked. Nothing else was out of place. He doesn’t remember doing it.
A few months later he awoke to find his cat sitting on his chest and the first thing he saw was two big green eyes. His first thought was “Oh, shit, they came back!”
It took Allen 35 minutes to tell me this story.
So the next time you are trapped listening to some boring story run far and fast, that guy's probably alien bait.
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